Sandwich building / stacking order. (Hey, this is important!)

[Redstone]

Mrs R insists on putting the cheese right at the top, under the top piece of bread, but I insist that this is pure Sandwich Heresy, and I will always conform to the sacred precepts of the Philadelphia Hoagie Assembly System:

Starting from the bottom (or from the outside in, if you're using a Hoagie Roll or a section of Italian Bread), the proper method is:

1) Bottom bread.

2) Mayonnaise and / or mustard, and / or olive oil & vinegar (thin wash coat).

3) Meat. (Slices NEVER laid flat, always crumpled to increase surface area.)

4) Cheese. (That would be Provolone, in most cases.)

5) Tomatoes. (Sliced thin, but lots of them.)

6) Onions, if used, sliced paper-thin as well.

7) Other vegetables as used, giardinera or other peppers, artichoke hearts, olives, (you can even throw in some pickles here and I'd never criticize you for doing so), or marinated eggplant; this is the category / layer in which to get creative if you want to. (And if you do, PLEASE tell me about what you do so I can try it.)

8) Lettuce (sliced, NOT hand-torn) should ALWAYS be on the top of the stack, because it's the best at absorbing / contianing the next layer:

9) The main, thick coat of Mayonnaise and / or mustard, and / or olive oil & vinegar, liberally sprinkled with Crazy Salt, a blend of Italian herbs, or at least a healthy does of oregano. (This layer HAS to be applied to the bread, not to the vegetables.)

10) Press down heavily, using both hands, to blend all, then enjoy. Bring napkins.

What say you all?

Redstone

[ogneopasno]

1. I drive the kids at Subway up the wall because I like the oil and vinegar ON THE BREAD, NO, NOT

ON TOP OF ALL THE VEGGIES SO IT LEAKS OUT, DUMBASS! I like it with the oil and vinegar soaking into the bun. Don't put it on the veggie side. Put it on the naked side. It's not that hard.

[Redstone]

3. I'll change the OP. I was not clear that the wet ingredients have to go on the bread.

Thanks for the reminder.

Redstone

[ogneopasno]

8. You're welcome. I appreciate the change. It's not like Subway makes these amazing sandwiches but for

God's sake...you want it soaking into the bread.

[SoxFan]

26. Subway: the Olive Garden of the sandwich world

[ogneopasno]

27. Yeah, yeah. Not to be a Wal-Mart shopper, but "It's all we've got here in the boonies!"

:hide:

[SoxFan]

32. Been there

I lived in Arkansas for four years, and there was a serious lack of good sub shops. I have more good sandwich joints within a ten minute walk of my home in NH than there were in all of Benton and Washington Counties combined.

[elleng]

52. Better food generally, eh?

'Cause the inhabitants crossed the big lake from Italy, Portugal, Spain, France, etc, bringing their recipes with them!

[SoxFan]

60. Well, we also have the Irish and English...

Not exactly known for their culinary skills!

[pokerfan]

90. Subway is not a sandwich shop

WTF kind of sandwich shop doesn't have a Ruben on the menu?

[Kat45]

95. I like Subway.

Their oat honey bread is absolutely delicious. They also make a great double chocolate chip cookie. :9

[Xipe Totec]

2. I'll have a Dagwood Bumstead, please,

[Xipe Totec]

6. Here are the instructions:

[Redstone]

9. But there's nothing WET in that sandwich! No thousand Island, no mayo, no mustard,

not even a touch of oil and vinegar!

Utterly inedible.

Redstone

[Xipe Totec]

11. Those items are left as free variables for the artists

this is art, not engineering.

[Redstone]

21. Indeed. I got it.

Redstone

[EastTennesseeDem]

4. Pay close attention

1.) Lightly toasted honey wheat
2.) 4 deli slices of turkey (also crumpled)
3.) Swiss
4.) One slice of bacon (two halves)
5.) Thin green leaf lettuce
6.) One large slice of tomato
7.) Thousand island dressing (spread evenly across #8)
8.) Lightly toasted honey wheat

= my enormous fat ass.

[Redstone]

7. Now you've doomed me: I MUST have one of those tomorrow. Thousand Island is

a great addition to almost any sandwich, isn't it?

Redstone

[EastTennesseeDem]

10. It's a good lesson in willpower

You're going to end up craving two daily. If my mind had the best of me, I'd weigh 450 pounds.

[Redstone]

20. We have some twelve-grain, damn dense hippe bread that's going to work PERFECTLTY

with your recipe. I'll limit myself to one, thanks to your timely warning.

Redstone

[EastTennesseeDem]

28. Glad I could be of service

Some of the best edible creations are invented while the creator is burning rope, I'll admit.

I went into Panera recently and saw something frighteningly similar to it (their philosophy on the bread was different than mine). I almost demanded a royalty check. They made a respectable sandwich, but it was not nearly what I described.

[Inchworm]

5. You followed all my rules

except the cheese MUST touch the mayo/mustard (on top and bottom usually).

:hi:

[Redstone]

19. But then it slides around when you bite into the sandwich! That's my problem with Mrs R's method.

Redstone

[Shell Beau]

12. Man, you are making me hungry!

:9

[Redstone]

24. Into the kitchen with you, then!

Redstone

[Shell Beau]

31. I don't have all those yummy ingredients to make a decent sandwich.

I can have a nasty bologna and cheese sandwich. x(

[Redstone]

38. Fry the bologna. Melt the cheese on it. Add mustard. It'll be acceptable, and may take

you back to your childhood as well.

Redstone

[Shell Beau]

39. Ooh yeah! A fried bologna sandwich. Mmm!

I wonder why frying the bologna makes it taste so much better. Weird.

[Redstone]

40. Works with SPAM, too. Especially topped with Government Cheese / Velveeta.

Redstone

[begin_within]

13. My method

Toast 2 slices of bread. Whole grain is best for health, of course.
Spread thin layer of mayonnaise on both.
Sprinkle seasoning salt on both. Very important to overall taste.
Lay slice of cheese on both. (Muenster is great, but whatever you like).
Lay on paper towel in microwave.
Microwave just until cheese melts (probably 30 seconds).
Remove from microwave.
Layer pickles and thin onion slices on one side.
Put thin sliced tomatoes on top, then avocado slices if you want.
Finish with lettuce leaves (romaine or butter lettuce).
Put top on, then slice diagonally twice to create 4 triangular sections.
Eat immediately, with fresh fruit on the side, wash down with cold beverage of your choice.

[EastTennesseeDem]

14. Good GOD!!!!

[Redstone]

23. Purely excellent. Meat is indeed not crucial. Mrs R makes a similar vegeterian

sandwich which also piles on a thick layer of alfalfa sprouts (but includes your Muenster and avacodos), and if I had one of those for lunch every day, I'd not miss meat for a LONG time.

Redstone

[begin_within]

34. I don't really like alfalfa sprouts... I know they are super-nutritious, but

I find that the strong grassy flavor kind of overwhelms the delicate flavors of the cheeses and avocadoes, etc.

[Jamastiene]

15. Do you eat peanut butter in gobs and enjoy having it stick to the roof of your mouth?

NO way!

Main coat of mayo should always go on the bottom and the cheese should always go on top to hold all the lettuce and other smaller veggies in place. Only one coat of mayo is necessary, on the bottom slice of bread, not the top. That way you don't have to smash your sandwich and turn your bread into gobs of goo that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

You're doing it wrong. Tell Mrs. R I said :thumbsup: SHE knows what SHE is doing, unlike you with your sandwich smooshery and mayo/cheese heresy. :eyes:

[Redstone]

29. OK, you get your butt up here and we'll have a sandwich-off. If you and Mrs R win - and

I will freely admit it if you do, since I'm one of those VERY FEW men who will admit to being wrong - you'll get, well, the satisfaction of having been right.

And I'll get the satisfaction of having eaten numerouse terrific sandwiches.

We all win, yes?

Redstone

[Jamastiene]

41. W00t!

That sounds like dinner! :)

[av8rdave]

16. The order is less important than is the absence of contaminants

Mayo, mustard, onions. Any sandwich is a masterpiece without them, IMO.

[Redstone]

33. Onions I can take or leave. But no mayo? No mustard? Awful dry sandwich without.

Redstone

[av8rdave]

43. True...that's why you need lots of thick tomatoes!

[Redstone]

44. You would never, EVER get an argument from me about the importance of tomatoes.

Redstone

[elleng]

53. But decent tomatoes are NOT AVAILABLE

unless bought from farms!

Or my Dad's garden, which he doesn't have anymore. ;-(

[harmonicon]

17. I agree

sometimes extra cheese will also be placed on the bottom

[blogslut]

18. No tomatoes on a sandwich

ever.

Sorry, but them's my rules.

EDIT ADD: Okay. One exception. When I slice up grape tomatoes and toast them between two slices of bread along with a healthy dose of crumbled Roquefort cheese. Other than that...no tomatoes.

[madinmaryland]

22. Recommended and Perfect!!! But now I'm FUCKING hungry!!

:grr:

[Redstone]

30. I'll meet you in the kitchen.

Redstone

[eleny]

25. Mayo/mustard etc on the bread is only for convenience not the flavor

bread
cheese
meat
s&p
mayo or whatever
thinly sliced onion goes here
tomato
greens
top bread

The mayo, oils, mustard etc flavor the meat and don't get lost soaked into the bread. Sure, it's a little sloppier. But the point is to maximize flavor.

And if it's on a kaiser roll, scoop out a little bit of the bread to make more room inside. :D

Eta: Slip the sloppy sandwich into a big coffee filter or wrap it in a couple of napkins to keep it neat.

[Tektonik]

35. Sandwiches should always be made in this order (pretty much what you just said)

-bottom piece of bread
-bottom layer of mayo/mustard/etc. if you desire on that piece of bread
-folded lunch meat slices
-cheese slices
-sliced tomatoes, onions, and anything else that may be flat
-whatever messy veggie like avocado slices
-I'd add the salt and pepper right here
-lettuce leaf (if you wanted vinegar, I would dress the lettuce leaf )
-Mayo/mustard/etc + oil if so desired on the top piece of the bread

Anyhow my favorite sandwich as a kid was a Croque Monsieur, and that's a much much simpler task.

Deli sandwiches always taste better with avocado and toasted bread.

[Redstone]

36. Now, THIS is what I was hoping for, folks: Creative sandwich idea. And you came through again.

Lots of ideas here I will indeed try. Thank you all.

Redstone

[Kali]

37. hmm had to think about it a bit

I tend to put the mayo or mustard lightly on both pieces of bread - or all over the opening of a roll. I usually prefer meat on the bottom, then cheese, then the veggies (sorry, I seem to remember you hating that word). For most cold sandwiches I prefer pickle/pepper on the side.

Good hoagies are hard to come by around here so I don't have enough experience to have a preference for the location of the oil and spices, but I have loved every one I have ever tried.:9

[Redstone]

45. You're my friend, so you can say "veggies." Especially because you also say "hoagies."

Redstone

[asdjrocky]

42. I can not improve on that.

The perfect sandwhich... but try this-
http://www.baconnaise.com/

[Redstone]

46. I'm buying a bottle of that tomorrow. And NOBODY had better try to stop me.

Thanks for the link.

Redstone

[asdjrocky]

50. I got the link from DU just yesterday... happy to pass it along!

I'm all ready thinking about my BLT's with my homegeown tomatoes and lettuce this summer.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

75. I'm the one who discovered it

and posted it everywhere the opportunity arose.

The stuff is amazing. Only a bit disgusting if you pay too much attention to it, but it really is good.

[csziggy]

47. The BLAT

1) Toasted wheat or rye bread
2) Mayo & a bit of brown mustard
3) Slice of Swiss or Provolone cheese - optional
4) 2 or 3 slices of crisp bacon, halved
5) slices of tomato
6) slices of avocado
7) Other optional items - onion, pickles, whatever
8) Leaves of crisp lettuce
9) Top slice of toasted bread

[quakerboy]

48. I think mayo is death

and I don't want any part of your damn murderwich.

Other than that, you have an interesting plan. My plan goes differently, as follows
Whatever is closest to hand goes on first. Then what is second closest. Then third. Then fourth. Then some extra cheese, preferably of the cheddar variety. Then 5th.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

49. Amateur

For a smart guy, you sure have bamboozled yourself into believing this cheese myth. Mrs. R is closer to the truth than you, Redstone, but you're both a couple of amateurs. (Notice I didn't say "weenies," because that's a whole different sandwich.)

Here's how you do it:

Hoagie roll sliced lengthwise (details matter, because somewhere out there is someone who doesn't know this)
Thousand Island dressing - I make my own, so there's more sweet pickle relish and minced onion in it than store-bought
Red leaf lettuce - sheets of it, NOT shredded
Thinly-sliced tomatoes
Genoa salami, laid flat, overlapping
Warm carmelized onions, covering the length sprinkled with Bacon Salt - http://www.baconsalt.com/
Narrow strips of provolone to cover the salami and onions - lots
Lengthwise-sliced garlic dill pickles, three or four slices
Thinly-sliced red onion rings
Banana pepper rings, overlapping
Narrow strips of Muenster - lots
Honeybaked ham slices, lots, overlapping
A very thin layer of cranberry sauce, the chunky kind
More carmelized onions
Narrow strips of Monterey Jack cheese - lots
Thinly-sliced tomatoes, overlapping
More red leaf lettuce, still NOT shredded
Top of hoagie roll, generously slathered with garlic mustard

Scrunch it all down, then pop it into the microwave for about a minute, to warm the roll and melt the cheeses.

Now you know why my personal mantra has always been: Abuse it or lose it.

[Redstone]

63. "Bacon salt?" BACON SALT? Hot diggity DAMN! I absolutely WILL try your recipe, and

sooner rather than later.

That's the thing about sandwiches: there are SO many good ones, even if they don't incorporate one's personal ingredient / stacking-order preferences.

By the way, thanks you so much for your recent support. I have indeed realized that it was unutterably foolish for me to thinnk I could do it without the medication. I'm better again.

And, may I add, you sure DO know how to make a sandwich!

Redstone

[Tangerine LaBamba]

77. I'm so glad to hear that

I think it's a human failing that we all fall prey to - the notion that we're doing all right and don't need the painkillers. I've done it more than once, and have gotten myself into serious trouble. That's why it was so easy to recognize it in you.

We like to think we're just fine without any assistance, but, as an old fellow hippie college friend reminded me, "Don't forget - we used to seek out all this stuff," so there's that.

I'm glad you're feeling better, Redstone.

:toast:

[flvegan]

69. No relish?

:popcorn:

:hide:

[Redstone]

70. Don't NEED no esteenkin' RELISH if you got pickles. Especially fresh half-sours.

Redstone

[flvegan]

72. I usually go with Thousand Island, which has pickle in it.

I make my own, so the chunks are a little bigger.

[Redstone]

73. Homemade Thousand Island. Oh, yes. I'll be right over.

Redstone

[Tangerine LaBamba]

76. So do I,

and I use more relish than is usually called for, but the relish taste doesn't stand out.

Subtlety, texture, umami. The taste of bacon................

[Tangerine LaBamba]

74. Philistine

That's what the carmelized onions are for.

The relish would be far too heavy a taste, too distracting.

::::: sigh ::::::

[ashling]

51. Don't ignore

the squish factor. That is very important.

[hippywife]

54. Um, I think that

crumpling increases mass, whereas flat would increase surface area. Am I wrong here? :shrug:

Happy sammiching! :hi:

[Pharlo]

55. Nothing beats the simple classic -

Bread (type to taste)
Peanut Butter (type and spread to taste)
Jelly (type and spread to taste)
Bread (type to taste)

The End

[Jamastiene]

58. Except right now, you could die from the peanut butter or

wish it had killed you if you ate it. I ate the peanut butter a few weeks ago. I'm still not right. Stomach still hurts and everything.

Normally, you are right though. PB&J is a simple classic. Yummy.

[rucky]

56. Olives must be kalamata - sliced vertically.

sandwich making and DU are my only OCD behaviors.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

57. Whatever else you put in your sandwich, just don't use Miracle Whip.

That stuff is the spooge of Satan. It renders inedible anything it touches. By that I don't mean just bad-tasting, I mean utterly inedible.

[Jamastiene]

59. Duke's is the only way to go if you want good mayo.

:)

[Redstone]

66. I've heard that Duke's is damn good; I gotta mail-order some of it someday.

Redstone

[Redstone]

64. No, no, NO Miracle Whip! It's Hellman's or home-made. Miracle Whip tastes like kerosene.

Redstone

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

65. Worse. It tastes like kerosene with a lot of high-fructose corn syrup in it.

:puke:

[DeepBlueC]

61. I say tomatoes UNDER the cheese

so that they do not make the bread soggy.

[IDemo]

62. Tomatoes next to cheese = sliding sandwich syndrome

I put the meat or lettuce between these layers.

[Redstone]

67. "Sliding sandwich syndrome?" I like that term, and it is a factor, especially when one of

the layers is artichoke hearts - I love those little boogers, but the olive oil means you have to chasse them around a lot. A fork is a required accessory when using them.

Redstone

[DeepBlueC]

68. as long as the tomatoes aren't next to the bread

[Redstone]

71. Unless it's a good old plain summer Garden Tomato Sandwich, the kind you wear as much

as you eat it.

Redstone

[bicentennial_baby]

78. With cucumbers and mayo with a touch of Horseradish

:9

[Redstone]

81. I can't eat horseradish, but cucumbers are always good, pickled or not.

Redstone

[libodem]

79. Look at how many replies you got here

Funny. I hope you are not giving Mrs Redstone too much grief over this. It all goes to the same place eventually. I have to laugh because you sound like my brother, Charlie, to whom sandwich order is sacrosanct. He once had quite a vicious argument with my other brother, about Blt's. I'm not sure what the offending order had been, but what I overheard was it's called a B-L-T, for a reason and that is the way the ingredients go on the bread. Your sandwich does sound delicious, knucklehead!

[Redstone]

80. No, no, no, sandwiches are a source of joy in life, not a point of contention. I would NEVER

be dogmatic about such a silly thing, or give Mrs R any grief about it.

As Warren Zevon said, "enjoy every sandwich." Which I intend to do, whether it's made in my preferred fashion or not. They're ALL good, to a great extent.

(Furthermore, Mrs R tends to make "BCLTs," which would probably drive your brother nuts, adding cheese to the three original ingredients as it does. But God Dang, they're tasty!)

Redstone

[libodem]

83. This is the stuff of great conversations

We should commission California Peggy to write us a poem about it. :)

[Redstone]

84. Indeed. The things that seem so inconsequential, but provide us so much joy.

Redstone

[WinkyDink]

82. I say it's lousy you don't have enough for the whole class!

[Redstone]

85. Everyone can come over, and we'll make sure there's enough. Nobody ever leaves

our house hungry.

Redstone

[4 t 4]

87. so confused how many of you are there

wasn't this Stinky The Clowns receipe for sandwhiches in GD a short time ago ?

[Redstone]

88. Who's "Stinky The Clowns," and why? And what's a "sandwhich?"

Redstone

[TK421]

86. I agree with everything you have there except for one....cheese AFTER

mayo, mustard etc....usually will be the first thing they put on the hoagie ( or at least, where I order ) everything else....sounds right

[Redstone]

89. In Philadelphia? Things must have changed, which is certainly possible. Tastes good no matter which

way it's stacked, though, doesn't it?

Redstone

[Odin2005]

91. NO TOMATOES!!! My ideal 'wich:

Bottom slice of multi-grain bread

Mayo

folded slices of deli-thin turkey, ham, and roast beef

thin-sliced summer sausage

pepperoni slices

provolone cheese

onions, sliced bell peppers, black olives, pickles

lettuce

olive oil (lightly drizzled over the veggies)

Dijon mustard or horseradish (spread onto the bread)

Top slice of multi-grain bread.

[Redstone]

92. Hey, if you don't have (or like) tomatoes, that's OK as long as there are lots of

other vegetables.

Redstone

[EastTennesseeDem]

93. I think that lettuce without tomatoes is like Laurel without Hardy

Can't bring myself to eat something with lettuce and no tomato. Does this mean I'm a bad person?

[Redstone]

94. Not at all. Much as I'm a tomato addict, I don't eat them in winter, becuase

they're horrible and have no flavor.

During those months, other vegetables (especially preserved stuff, like pickles and olives and artichoke hearts) are perfectly acceptable.

Redstone