Dumbest jokes of all time

[holeinboatoutatsea]

Here's one:

A rock rolls into a bar. Everyone looks at him like he's crazy.
He says "what? you never saw somebody who was stoned before?"

[kanrok]

1. I beg to differ:

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?






Because it was dead.

[sistersofmercy]

2. "What did the five fingers say to the face?"

"SLAP! I'm Rick James, bitch!" OK not the dumbest of all time but couldn't resist posting. Chappelle cracks me up.

[EV1Ltimm]

18. "charlie murphy!"

I couldn't stop laughing after that skit...

[sistersofmercy]

21. Me either!

Now it's the Lil Jon skits, "YEAAHHH, WHAT, OK!"

[ScreamingMeemie]

3. A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says,"Hey, why the long

face?" ;)

[SoDesuKa]

4. Horse Goes Into a Bar

A horse goes into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?"

[SoDesuKa]

5. OOPS

Posted simultaneously.

[holeinboatoutatsea]

6. that means

that wins the prize for dumbest so far! Two people thinking the same joke at the same time!

[SoDesuKa]

7. It's Definitely a Contender

Whenever I think of a dumb joke, it's the one about the horse with the long face. Apparently I'm not alone in that.

[Jim Sagle]

8. And now that Kerry's the nom, we'll hear it all the time.

[ScreamingMeemie]

13. Oh wow! GMTA...or twilight zone...or something!

;)

:hi:

[pagerbear]

9. Did you hear about the corduroy pillowcase?

It's making headlines!

[holeinboatoutatsea]

10. Definitely another contender! (nt)

[pagerbear]

11. Do we dare start the no-arms-no-legs jokes?

[peterh]

12. What did the Jewish Santa Claus say to the boy…

Wanna buy a toy kid….

:freak:

[gmoney]

19. Thought that was the Jewish child molester...

"Hey kid, wanna buy some candy?"

(Mel Gibson's dad told me to post that anti-semitic joke)

[CO Liberal]

14. Did You Hear About the Explosion at the Boardinghouse?

They don't know the cause yet, but roomers are flying.

:-)

[pagerbear]

15. Boo! Hiss!

But it reminds me of the Boarding House song:

In the boarding house where I live
All the folks are growing old.
Silver hairs are in the butter
And the cheese has turned to mold.
When the dog died we had sausage.
When the cat died catnip tea.
When the landlord died I left there--
Spare ribs were too much for me!

[ChoralScholar]

16. Read this one the other day.

A man walks into Macy's in New York and asks the sales lady, "Where can I find a Baptist Bra for my wife?"

The sales lady, confused, says "I don't understand what you mean."

The man replies, "A Baptist bra. My wife told me thats what I
should ask for. Size 36B."

The sales lady says, "Oh, yes, now I remember. We don't get much call for those anymore. Most people order the Catholic Bra, the Salvation Army Bra, or the Presbyterian Bra."

The man, a little confused, asks "What exactly is the difference?"
The sales lady replies, "Well, the Catholic bra holds up the masses. The Salvation Army bra lifts up the fallen, and the Presbyterian bra keeps them staunch and upright."

The man then asks, "Okay. Well, what does the Baptist Bra do then?"

The sales lady explains, "It makes mountains out of molehills"

[EV1Ltimm]

17. Here's 3...

Person 1: "Ask me if i'm a tree."
Person 2: "Are you a tree?"
Person 1: "No."

<rimshot>

Person 1: "My dog has no nose"
Person 2: "How does it smell?"
Person 1: "Awful"

<rimshot>

Person 1: "Did you hear the one about the magician driving a car?... he turned into a driveway!"

Heyo!

[CO Liberal]

20. What's Brown and Sticky?

A stick.

:-)

[ironflange]

24. Different joke, same answer

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick.

[Kadie]

22. Really bad one my dad told alot....

A man is walking down a pier counting the slits.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5,
He continues to count as he walks, and then he falls into the water.

The moral of the story is,

When you run out of slits, you run out of pier.


*If you don't get it... just think back to beer commercials in the 70's.

[holeinboatoutatsea]

23. dumb one I thought up

If I had one orangutan

and you had six orangutans

who would win in a fight?

answer: mine. one is indivisible

not much of a joke, but damn.

[grannylib]

25. My two favorites:

1. What kind of tree is a toilet?


a pecan

2. When geese fly south for the winter, they usually fly in a "v" formation and one side of the "v" is longer than the other. Why?



there are more geese on that side

[PurityOfEssence]

26. How does Hitler tie his shoes?

In little nazis.

[nickgutierrez]

27. WORST JOKE EVER!!!1

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x847413#847931

[jmowreader]

28. Two gay guys in Seattle...

are looking out into the Sound and see a ship.

"What kind of ship is that?"

'It's a ferry boat.'

"I knew we were organized, but I didn't know we had our own navy."