Give me the jokes, folks--I'm feeling very blue. Nothing to do wtih the Super Bowl

[blondeatlast]

either--it's just that my life is pretty tense at the moment, not to mentionI can't even eat with a mouth full of Novocaine..

So, please, make me laugh--and blonde jokes, IMHO, are perfectly okay.

[Dr. Strange]

1. Pics?

[racaulk]

2. That first pic reminds me of a date I once had.

:hide:

[Dr. Strange]

3. I can't believe you posted that. I'm alerting.

Oh crap.

[racaulk]

5. !!!

:rofl:

[racaulk]

4. What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?

It's time to get a new fence.

[blondeatlast]

11. How does an elephant hide in a cherry tree?

S/he paints their toenails red (rimshot!)

[Cabcere]

6. So these two muffins are sitting in the oven

and one of them says, "Man, it's hot in here!"

And the other one says, "Holy cow! A talking muffin!!" :wow:

:P


Edited to add: :hug: Hope you feel better soon! :hi:

[Dr. Strange]

9. You!

That was SO bad.




:P

[racaulk]

7. What do you call a werewolf at midnight?

A cab!

:rofl: *snort*

[Haole Girl]

8. Have you heard about the man who walked into the bar with an ostrich ?

Here:



A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke'

The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie apeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live. It's brilliant!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact amount of money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

:rofl:

[blondeatlast]

10. Oh, I LIKES it!

:rofl: