Books You'll Never See

[jmowreader]

Rational Political Discourse, by Ann Coulter

How to Make a Marriage Work, by Rush Limbaugh

How I Got My Plumbing License, by Joe the Plumber

[Dr. Strange]

1. Hmmm.

I Done Fucked Up by George Bush
The Essence of Humility by Terrell Owens
Classical Music by Chuggo (with a Foreword by Nickelback)
How to Score Big with the Ladies--EVERYtime and ANYtime by Tucker Carlson
Copycats for Dummies by DS1

[underpants]

3. How I formulate thought before I open my mouth by Dick Morris

Things I got right by William Kristol

[TZ]

5. lol

I love number two and the last one..
Here's one for you: Why Women should wear burkas..by temeah..;)

[TZ]

11. The 10 habits of highly effective nuns..by Beach Baby...

:evilgrin:

[mcctatas]

13. OMG

I used to have really, REALLY erotic dreams about Tucker Carlson. Nothing better than angry hate filled sex during your REM cycle :crazy:

[Dr. Strange]

14. Why must you make me cry?

:cry:

On the other hand, does this mean we'll be seeing pics of Paddy wearing a bow tie?

[mcctatas]

15. Well, if it helps.....

tucker was eventually replaced with Russ Feingold, of course talking policy during sex isn't quite as erotic as the tucker romps

[qwertyMike]

42. Here goes

All My Exes are Doing Life - Charles Manson
Ted Bundy's Dating Guide
How to Make a Living off Po' Li'l Cayley Anthony by Nancy Grace
Don't Take Yourself so Seriously by Christan Bale
Riches to Bitches by OJ Simpson
Who's Yer Daddy Hillary? by Barack Obama
Now This is What I Call a Fuckin' Ass, Stick-Insect Paris Hilton by Jessica Simpson
Acceptance by Rod Blagojevich

[AwakeAtLast]

2. Positive Thoughts, by Dick Cheney

:D

[rurallib]

4. Rush Limbaugh: You can fool enough people to get rich!

[darkstar]

6. Profiles in Courage, Part II--g.w.bush

Some Gave All (But I Didn't Have to Do Shit)--g.w.bush
Milking A Bull and Drinking the Frothy Cream--g.w.bush
My Bottom Needs Powdering--g.w.bush
For A Daddy's Love: How I Finally Bested my Old Man in the Game of Extreme Douchenozzle--g.w.bush
What's Brown and Smells Like You Stepped in Something? Me!--g.w.bush

[elshiva]

7. A Purpose Driven Failure, An Autobiography by Rick Warren

[bluesbassman]

8. Straight Talk, by Ari Fleischer

How To Win A War In Seven Days, by Donald Rumsfeld

Fiscal Ethics, By Henry Paulson

[Radical Activist]

9. How to respect others' beliefs while losing weight by Rick Warren

[Angleae]

10. Here's a few

Beauty Secrets - by Michael Jackson
How To Win The Superbowl - by Jim Kelly
My Life's Memories - by Ronald Reagan
Things I Can't Afford - by Bill Gates
Things I Would Not Do For Money - by Dennis Rodman
The Wild Years - by Al Gore
Amelia Earhart's Guide Yo The Pacific Ocean
America's Most Popular Lawyers
Detroit - A Travel Guide
Dr. Kevorkian's Collection Of Motivational Speeches
Everything Men Know About Women
Everything Women Know About Men
All The Men I've Loved Before - by Ellen DeGeneres
Mike Tyson's Guide To Dating Etiquette
Spotted Owl Recipes - by the Sierra Club
The Amish Phone Directory
My Plan To Find The Real Killers - by O. J. Simpson

[Dr. Strange]

12. Ha!

How To Win The Superbowl - by Jim Kelly :rofl:
Everything Men Know About Women
That book's been "written":
http://www.amazon.com/Everything-Men-Know-About-Women/dp/0836208196
120 pages, all of them blank.

[NewJeffCT]

28. somebody gave me that book before

as a joke gift - the one on everything men know about women that was blank.

[driver8]

17. As a Buffalo Bills fan, the Jim Kelly book title really hurts...n/t

[av8rdave]

32. But as a Cowboys fan...

Actually, I've always had a lot of respect for Jim Kelly.

Though he never won the "big one," he certainly got them there enough times. Not a lot of QBs can even claim that!

[Dr. Strange]

16. Some more...

A Parenting Guide: Some Helpful Insightful Tips by Alec Baldwin
Sapphic Tales of Nubian Love by David Duke
Zen and the Craft of Acting by Christian Bale and Val Kilmer
Stand Up and Stand Out: How to Get Credit for Your Achievements by Anonymous
Flavored Coffee, Radiohead, and Thou: A Collection of Love Poems by Phillycat

[TZ]

22. Guide to good taste in Rock Music..by Creekdog

:rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

24. That would be more of a pamphlet.

Maybe like a Chick tract. (Creek tract?)

[driver8]

18. The Bachelor Cookbook, by Jeffrey Dahmer.

Sorry -- it's early; that is all I can come up with.

[Lyric]

19. "How to Raise Non But-Tutching Children" by mcctatas

"The Art of Gentle Persuasion" by Skittles

"Asian Woodcarving for White People" by RadioLady

"One-Hundred-and-One Recipes for Veal" by LeftyMom

"Pit Bulls: Normal Dogs or DANGEROUS VILLAINOUS HOUNDS of HELL???" by flvegan

"Incognito Derriere: A Study in Tasteful Nudes" by whatever-the-hell-GoPsUx-is-calling-himself-now :P

"Why I Gave Up Baseball for the Obviously-Superior Sport of Professional Ice Hockey" by Oeditpus Rex

"The 2009 Guide to being a Proper, Ladylike Housewife" by Jamastiene

"So Long, Farewell: The End of the DTM List" by Midlodemocrat

"Poetry Schmoetry: Why Television is Inherently Better than Literature" by RetroLounge

:P

[LynneSin]

20. Field Guide to our Nation's Tollbooths by madinmaryland

He seems obsessed by them

[Dr. Strange]

25. He has another book in that series:

Village Idiots for Dummies

[krispos42]

21. Hmmmmm.....

A Treatise on the Inheirant Value of Human Life by Richard B. Cheney
But-Tutching for Fun and Profit by mcctatas
LOLcats: The Ultimate Threat to Human Civilization by SalmonChantedEvening
Due Process: The Linchpin of Justice by Alberto Gonzales
The Differences Between Communism and Socialism by Rush Limbaugh
To Serve Feline by SemiCharmedQuark
To Serve Canine by flvegan
The Joy of Bacon by Thom Hartmann
Vegetarian Cooking by Ed Schultz
The 7 Habits of Effective Anger Mangement by Bill O'Reilly
Identifying and Challenging Hypocracy by Senators Larry Craig and David Vitter

[LynneSin]

26. I heard Ted Stevens wrote the introduction to that book by Craig & Vitter

:eyes:

[av8rdave]

34. You forgot the other book by Alberto Gonzales

Tips to Improve Your Memory

[krispos42]

40. "I Do Recall" by Alberto Gonzales?

:rofl:



I think Gonzo would die from a tragic brain hemorrhage (of, say, 9mm diameter or so) sometime between the advance and the submission...




Which I guess proves your point!

[JitterbugPerfume]

23. How to achieve happiness

(subtitle) how I learned to accept and love disruptors and assholes BY Orrex

[Initech]

27. "Strategic Defense Planning For Easy Victory" by Bill Belicheck.

[Deep13]

29. How To Win Friends and Influence People--Dick Cheney. nt

[NewJeffCT]

30. "Mellow Fellow" by Christian Bale

seems kind of appropriate today...

[NewJeffCT]

31. "How to Win a Land War in Asia" by George W. Bush

with inspiration from Adolph Hitler

[Initech]

46. "How to win a landslide election" by George W. Bush

[Arugula Latte]

33. "Lookin' Good" by Joe Lieberman

[Initech]

35. David Vitter's Guide To A Successful Marriage

[geardaddy]

36. Here you go:

"How to Live and Lose Graciously" by Norm "Polident" Coleman

[KamaAina]

37. Sen. Al Franken, A Great American Statesman, by Bill O'Reilly

:P

[Initech]

38. "Bill O'Reilly Is A Huge Douchebag" by Al Franken

:evilgrin:

[Dr. Strange]

39. Invisible books

[NewJeffCT]

41. A few more

Succeeding on Talent Alone in Show Business by Pamela Anderson
Habeas Corpus: An In-Depth Analysis and History of this Fundamental Right by Alberto Gonzales
Amnesty Now: A Rational Discussion of Immigration by Tom Tancredo
Disaster Preparation by Mike Brown
Mastering Birth Control by Shawn Kemp
Responsible Capitalism by Hank Greenberg (former CEO of AIG)

[struggle4progress]

43. Is Teh Dinner Or Isn't Teh Dinner? by Schrodinger's LOL Cat

[sarge43]

44. Gud Gummint , George Bush n/t

[Xipe Totec]

45. My Brilliant Career, by George W. Bush

Ethics in Government, by Karl Rove

How to Win a War, by Donald Rumsfeld.

[chemenger]

47. The Great Political Theories by Sarah Palin

Thinking and Speaking Clearly and Concisely (also by Sarah Palin)

[davsand]

48. "Ethics in Politics, an Advanced Discussion" By Rod Blagojevich

Oh, and we can't forget my personal favorite:

"PR for Dummies, Murderers, and Corrupt Politicians" by Rod Blagojevich's PR firm.



Laura

[Strong Atheist]

49. "I Think, Therefore I am" by

* or any repuke voter ...