My roomate is dying

[Roon]

I was suppose to kick him out so my Uncle could move in here and I was to move upstairs. He played his "dying" card on me tonight! I don't doubt he is dying because he is so gaunt and sickly.Now, I don't know what to do. How can you kick someone out who is obviously being ravaged with AIDS?

[malta blue]

1. ...

:hug:

What a horrible position to be in :cry:

[Roon]

2. I have aids too

but I take my meds and do everything the doc tells me to do.Gary hasn't ever taken any meds...not even AZT.

[malta blue]

3. I know.

That makes it even more tragic. I lost one of my best friends to the disease in 1993. He always joked he would not make it to 40, he didn't. :cry:

I am glad you stay on top of your meds. :pals:

[Roon]

4. I joked that I would never make it to 30

I am 41 now. I was a kid when I first got infected.

[Taverner]

21. Wow - just fucking wow!!!!

Awesome!!!

:thumbsup:

May you live another 40!!!

[Roon]

22. Thanks Taverner

eom

[Dystopian]

5. So sorry...

Oh, Roon:hug:
How can it be that he doesn't take meds? I don't understand...and his decision is now taking control of your life.
Life is not fair...I'm so sorry he's failing...The entire situation is sad.
My heart goes out to you...
Be well, Sweetie...

peace~

[Roon]

6. Thanks Dystopian

It's just one of those things. People are in denial and taking meds is accepting that you are sick. I have been taking meds since day one,AZT...I am happy to be here...

[Dystopian]

7. One of those things I don't understand...

How can one deny having a disease? The denial is now a disease...
Tragic.

I'm happy you're here, too:loveya:

peace~

[Roon]

9. Not only am I here

I am super healthy!! Fat and happy!

[Maestro]

8. So sorry to hear, but

if he refuses to take care of himself and your uncle needs some help, it may be time for Gary to move on. I dunno. It sounds like an extremely difficult position in which you find yourself. I hope you find a solution.

[Roon]

11. It's a pain,,,

He was homeless when I took him in,if I kick him out,he will be homeless again. My values keep me from leaving him in the dirt. What really sucks, is he knows this....

[JoDog]

14. Then he's using you

If your uncle needs the help, and your roommate is doing nothing to ensure his own health, I think your decision is clear here. Offer to help Gary find a hospice or other arrangements. If he refuses, see what you can arrange for him on your own. It sounds like he needs the kind of end-of-life care you simply are not qualified to give.

[RadiationTherapy]

10. Hospice.

I can't imagine having someone who I was not very close too dying in my home as a roommate.

[Roon]

12. his T-cells are 75

People don't generally live too long when it's that low. My t-cells are 275. I might live long enough for a cure.I know! Wishful thinking! LOL!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

23. Hospice is the best suggestion...

You are very kind and decent for helping him when he was in need. You also need to take care of yourself, though; and this burden could be detrimental to your own condition. :hug::hug::hug:

[blogslut]

13. Are there any group homes for HIV patients in your town?

Like, in my hometown, there is a small apartment complex where indigent HIV patients live. It's funded by the local AIDS support organization and the residents get treatments, counseling and meals.

Is there something like that in your town?

[Chan790]

25. Have you tried calling CO AIDS Project to see if there are any services available to your roommate?

http://www.coloradoaidsproject.org/housing.html

You're probably already aware what services are available to your roommate through Colorado AIDS Project, but still...you might want to give that a look and then call them. It seems like there is a social net already in place for your roommate.

[applegrove]

15. Wow that is awful news. I have no advice to give you on that.

[Deja Q]

16. I'm so sorry.

:( :(

RadiationTherapy is right; a hospice might be the best place. I know of Hope House, but I do not know if they are in your area.

[no name no slogan]

17. One question to ask is: which one is willing to help himself?

Is your uncle making an effort to better his situation? Is he trying to get help?

If so, you don't have a choice, IMHO. Your uncle is trying to get better. Your roommate doesn't seem to make the effort.

You can't help people who aren't interested in helping themselves. If you do, you're not helping-- you're enabling.

If your roommate isn't taking his meds and taking care of himself, he's using you. You are well within your rights to evict him.

Good luck Roon. :hug:

[SacredCow]

18. Man, that is a rough position to be in.....

Most of it is at his feet, though- NEVER taken meds? That's just insane!

I hope you can find a suitable path to take with this! :hug:

[Swede]

19. This is a truly terrible dilemma.

You have a true Sophie's choice to make. I wish you all the good luck you deserve,which sounds like a lot.

[YellowRubberDuckie]

20. Family comes first.

Don't feel bad about that. Help him find someplace else to go, but don't allow yourself to feel guilty for not wanting to be sucked dry and used. I agree with whoever said Hospice. That is where he needs to be.
Duckie

[Roon]

24. Thanks all for you advice

I wish I could answer each post,but I am just exhausted right now..I'll keep you up to date.

[Lil Missy]

26. Is there any way the 3 of you could live there?

I guess I have a problem about you saying he is playing a "dying card", if he is actually on deaths door. If he is actually dying, then that is not playing a "card".

And you say he'd be homless when you kick him out.

I cannot imagine to know the deaths you have suffered because of AIDS. But I can also not imagine sending a dying roommate to the streets and to die, and homeless.

Can't he at least sleep and die on the couch?

[sohndrsmith]

27. I'm so sorry... what a tough situation on so many levels. Couple of questions

that I just deleted because I realized I don't know what would be most helpful to you.

I'm sending you what I wrote via private message. If you're at all interested, I'm happy to help you think things through. If not, that's cool too.

take care.