Ever lost a friend or group of friends? Tell me how it happened.

[Skip Intro]

Did they tell you? Was it obvious when it happened? Or were you left to just figure it out?

[Arugula Latte]

1. I had a good friend who suddenly turned on me.

All of a sudden she was very cold, didn't want to talk. I never did figure out what happened. (I didn't do anything to her like go after her boyfriend or anything.) It freaked me out. Soon after, I moved away, and have never heard from her. Very unsettling, but what can you do? People are bizarre sometimes.

[RoyGBiv]

2. Funny you should ask ...

I told them.

About an hour ago actually.

And it hurts ... a lot, but it hurt more preserving the lie.

It was obvious years ago, but when you love people, it's hard to see that.

[Iggo]

3. I told them.

It sucked, too. But it had to be done.

I loved them and they loved me, but I had to change my lifestyle or die.

[ThomCat]

4. I came out of the closet.

Suddenly a lot of my friends weren't my friends any more. Some of them were very incredibly hostile. I even got a few death threats from one former friend. Others just stopped speaking to me and disappeared from my life.

Then a few years later I was briefly homeless. It was amazing how quickly friends became impossible to reach when I needed a couch to sleep on or a bite to eat. They were never to be seen or heard from again.

:(

[Fire Walk With Me]

7. Anyone who would leave you exposed and hungry cannot possibly be named a friend.

For any reason at all, but that is a pathetic reason in itself. Sorry to hear about it :(

[Swede]

5. A friend died last year.

Unsolved murder.

[flvegan]

6. I've lost "friends" over money.

And good fucking riddance. Can't think of a better investment.

If your absence cost me $2k, that's fine because I've got another 50 years I'd like to not waste on your ass.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

8. 53 at once....

09/11/01. :(

[auntAgonist]

9. ....

:hug:

[TieDyedDad]

10. me too..but not as many as you..

:hug:

[Skip Intro]

11. I'm so sorry. That's not what I was getting at with this thread.

:hug:

[PaddyBlueEyes]

12. No Im sorry..

I didnt mean to be a thread kill...Ill delete it..

[Skip Intro]

13. No no no, please don't.

Please, don't.

It puts things in perspective.

[KitchenWitch]

18. No words...

:hug:

[PaddyBlueEyes]

21. Thanks

K Dub..

[RFKHumphreyObama]

23. My deepest and sincerest thoughts, prayers, deepest sympathies and condolences

to you and all their friends and family

I'm so sorry:hug:

[PaddyBlueEyes]

24. Hey Brother

Thanks. The one solace we have, is they wouldnt have gone any other way.. 343

[Missy Vixen]

14. Yes

I'm also in the process of ending a couple of friendships that have been on life support for awhile now.

[XemaSab]

15. Number one deal breaker:

Going behind my back and talking shit about me to a guy you know I like.

Sorry, there's just no excuse.

It's happened twice to me, and it's JUST NOT COOL.

[Hello_Kitty]

16. I became a liberal

But then I got a new, and better, group of friends.

[MajorChode]

17. I started going out with Yoko Ono

[DarkTirade]

19. It's always been a slow fade for me when its happened.

[soleiri]

20. I had a friend “seduce” my boyfriend away from me.

That didn't break up our friendship, the fact that I didn't care... that made her furious.

[Mollis]

22. I was left hanging

This particular friend pretty much stopped talking to me, looking at me when I was standing right next to him, etc.
I sent him emails, texts, everything. He never told me why.
I had to find out from someone else why.
One of my best friends was killed in a car accident...and I guess I was "too sad" for this guy to be friends with me anymore.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

25. a close girlfriend.

She was jealous because I had naturally wavy hair. Her hair was long, straight, and baby fine.

Then I started dating a guy we both were acquainted with at the local Unitarian church.
Apparently, that was too much for her to take. She stopped returning my phone calls.

I've been with this man for almost 15 years.

That's her problem.

:shrug:

[MrSlayer]

26. One of my best friends tried to rape my sister-in-law.

Needless to say we are no longer friends.

[distantearlywarning]

27. A guy I was dating cheated on me.

When I broke up with him because of it, our mutual group of friends all chose him. :cry:

At the time I thought it was something about me. But then the same group of people did the same thing to my best friend, for the same reason (she was dating another guy in the group, who cheated on her in a really public, ugly fashion). Nice, huh?

There was a LOT of constant drama in that group. After the first 3 months of unhappy ego-crushed-ness and betrayal, I got over it and never looked back. And in hindsight I'm very grateful that it went down the way it did so I didn't get sucked into decades of BS like everyone else who was a core member of that social group.

[fizzgig]

28. after a high school breakup, all our friends chose him

my ex-boyfriend was one of my closest friends from elementary school, his cousin had been my best friend since kindergarten and the cousin was dating my best girlfriend, with whom i'd been friends with since before we started school.

it was a horrible and messy situation and it took me a long time to get over it.

[Bertha Venation]

29. I used to be seriously fucked up. Took me a while to figure out that

it wasn't my fault, losing touch with them (3 individuals). It is that they want nothing to do with me.

And now, although I'd love to see them all again, to renew friendships, I know it will never happen. Doesn't matter that I'm well now; they only know me as the person I was when I was sick.

(I did see one old friend a few years ago. I admire her for consenting to have dinner with me, because she was my closest friend when all the shit came down, and I leaned so hard that I wonder if I broke her. But it wasn't a good meeting, because she talked of sin all night. Her sin - she'd just split with a man she lived with for nine years but never married - and mine - being a lesbian. She tried to lessen the impact of the my-sin talk by telling me that mine was equal to hers. There's equality for you.)

[femmocrat]

30. Yeah.... and I swore off friendship as result.

I had the really cool boyfriend and they were all jealous, so they started nasty rumors about us.

I don't do friendship well. I have "trust issues" I guess.

[TK421]

31. Yes...and I can say it was my fault

She wanted to be more than friends, and I didn't because I didn't want it in that point in my life.
I have tried calling to keep in touch and see whats going on, but no return calls so I suppose we are no longer friendly with each other. We knew each other since I was 14. I don't know if she grew up and I didn't or I just wasn't ready for a relationship and that was the turn-off there...I can't tell, but I'm pretty much over it until now.

[trof]

32. Lost one? Yeah. In a plane crash.

No, he didn't tell me.
Yeah, it was obvious.
It was pretty easy to figure out.
The plane crashed and there were no survivors.
So that was the end of Warren Simpson.
He was in his 20s.
Wife and one kid.
He was a pretty good guitar player.
6 string, 12 string, and steel.
Who knows how far ol' Warren might have gone?
And about the funniest guy I've ever known.
I often wonder how he would have turned out.

[Darth_Kitten]

33. Well, a friend just didn't want to hang out with me and a few others.....

after 11th grade. Don't know why, sometimes you never know. She wasn't cruel, just seemed to want to hang out with some of our old group, but not others.

[BarbaRosa]

34. We moved a lot when I was a kid,

about once a year or so, so I was always leaving friends behind.

[BeachBaby]

35. There are a few.

My best friend in high school killed herself in 1985.

In 2004, two fundie friends dumped me because I was working on the Kerry campaign. They both said that I was "beyond lost" and that they had to "separate" themselves from me, because I wasn't "following the Lord".

Um, okay.

[bigwillq]

36. I've had many friends, and groups of friends

throughout the years and some have come and gone. Some I've hanged with for various reasons and the relationships took their course.

But my true friends have always been a part of my life through the good and bad.

[LibertyLover]

37. When I was in grad school I had several classes with this one woman

We had similar interests, military history for one which was neat for me since not many other women find it interesting. After we graduated we joined the Society for Creative Anachronism together and had lots of fun. Then I met the man who became my husband and got married. That put a crimp in the friendship. I tried to keep in touch with her and even had her to our house several times, including one Christmas because she couldn't get home to her parents' house in Massachusetts. Then my husband and I adopted a little girl and that ended the relationship. I invited her to come to the house for our daughter's naming ceremony and never heard back from her. Once in a while I'd see her at SCA events and would greet her, only to be given a cold shoulder. I still send her a Christmas card each year, but did not get one in return this year. I know the friendship is over, but I don't know why. I'll be honest - I miss her friendship. The only thing a mutual acquaintance ever said to me about it was that before I announced my engagement, they had thought that she and I were a couple. I have no particular evidence that my former friend is a lesbian. But if that is the case and she was upset that I wasn't and ended the friendship, I am truly sorry. I never let her think that I was anything other than attracted to the opposite sex. That being said, darn I miss her friendship.