My wife just called me "a fucking choad"

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

Should I divorce her?

This was after I made her the cinnabons she requested, if that makes a difference.

[JVS]

1. What will you do? Move back to Pittsburgh, you fucking choad?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. I'm not from Pittsburgh, I only lived there for a godforsaken summer

[JVS]

7. What do you have against the fine city where the three rivers meet?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

9. If it makes you feel better, I actually hate the entire state of PA

[old mark]

46. In that case, stay where you are and endure. Be strong. Take shit.

Stop whining.

mark

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

49. I'm not whining

I'm asking for serious advice here.

[MrPerson]

13. Is there a choad dissing Pittsburgh?

[mcctatas]

2. Well...

are you a fucking choad?

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

6. Not according to the definition of choad

[TZ]

4. heh.

You know when I first saw this thread title I thought for sure this was posted by madinmaryland! Sounds like Lost in Va has been taking lessons from hs wife! :rofl:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

8. I actually blame Vanje (sheeptramp)

She's a horrible influence on my wife. Damn lesbian Idahoian sheepherders.

[petronius]

5. Is that good or bad? What's a choad?

And are there any cinnabons left? :shrug:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

11. There are six cinnabons left

Look up choad on urban dictionary.

[CreekDog]

17. I wouldn't take it literally

:eyes:

[ghostsofgiants]

10. If my girlfriend called me that it would just make me love her even more.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

12. I do love her

[Shakespeare]

14. I want a cinnabon.

And I'd never call you a fucking choad. :cry:







Probably.





:7

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

15. The cinnabons are still warm

It's the Pillsbury kind.

And, neither I nor LG is a "choad."

[LostinVA]

16. I'm craving sweets

I'm PMSing.

I have another work story to tell you -- it happened yesterday, and was insane. I almost shanked the &^%$@ with my letter opener.

Have you read anything this weekend?

[Shakespeare]

18. Those would make excellent shanks.

The impulse has hit me a time or two, too.

I'm just starting to read what you sent me. Today has been errand after errand after fucking errand, but I'm home now (and full of burger and really good IPA).

[LostinVA]

22. This is how bad it was:

My boss, whom I have NEVER heard use a "bad word" (not even "damn"), said,"What a bitch!" when I told her the story.

[Shakespeare]

25. Must hear story.

Now, please.

[LostinVA]

35. Will write and PM now

I told Haruka I should just call you with these stories.

[Shakespeare]

38. Yay!

We should definitely talk sometime anyway. Preferably when I'm not in a burger coma, but soon.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

23. She's going to start bringing my sgian dubh to work

It's her favorite of all my knives, and it tucks into socks.

[Shakespeare]

28. Is that anything like a Scottish dirk?

I gots one of those--beautiful ceremonial knife. Still might make a decent shank, though (hmmm...).

[LostinVA]

30. Yes -- tyhe small dagger you keep in the kilt hose

It means "black knife/dirk."

[Shakespeare]

36. Ah. Cool.

If I weren't feeling completely lazy, I'd take a picture and post. But I am, so I won't.

[LostinVA]

37. Fucking lazy choad

hehehehe

[Shakespeare]

40. *snork*

Almost made me spill my beer.

[LostinVA]

52. Check PM

[AlCzervik]

19. you made her cinnabons?

i'm jealous.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

20. Yes, and they are delicious

I am truly a trophy wife.

I'm hot AND I make cinnabons.

[AlCzervik]

26. you're an awesome and considerate and non choadish hot wife.

i'd pass the fuck out if anyone in my family cooked me anything.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

31. Meanwhile, LiV bitches that she can't make me stuff with chicken broth

"It tastes better."

"It's made from dead chickens."

[Shakespeare]

41. Dead chickens taste good.

I fail to see the problem here.

[LostinVA]

55. I have to use VEGETABLE broth, made of dead veggies

I taste their little screams with every sip.

:cry:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

57. We use un-chicken broth, too

:eyes:

[LostinVA]

63. I don't even want to know what that stuff's made out of

WHAT THE HELL IS AN UNCHICKEN!!!!!!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

65. IT'S FUCKING VEGETABLE BROTH MINUS TOMATOES

HOW IS THAT SO HARD TO COMPREHEND?

[bettyellen]

74. LOL!

I luv you guys!

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

78. We love you, too

I'm drinking beer and eating a cinnabon...life is good.

[Shakespeare]

68. Think of the poor, adorable little mushrooms.

:cry: :cry: :cry:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

69. Look, mushrooms once gave me a really bad time

I thought trees were going to eat me, Bill Maher was TALKING RIGHT TO ME through the TV, and my friend was an EVIL ALIEN INTERROGATOR BARTENDER.

I feel no sympathy towards them.

[Shakespeare]

70. Okay, I can see that.

Fuck the mushrooms, then.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

71. FUCK THE MUSHROOMS

[LostinVA]

72. Check your PM in a minute -- Haruka is writing you up a story

It happened to use tonight at Best Buy.

[Shakespeare]

73. Waiting.

And waiting more patiently than you apparently did for the cinnabons.... :P

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

75. I sent it

See, you can wait without calling me a fucking choad.

[Shakespeare]

76. Read & replied.

And I'm STILL cracking up.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

79. I replied again

And, I've been cracking up since 7pm.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

56. Whatever

I have morals.

[Inchworm]

21. Stop makin' sucky sinneybons!

more sugar.. cinimon.. something!

:rofl:

I keed!

:hi:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

24. She called me a fucking choad because I had to let them cool off before I could frost them

She wanted me to burn myself.

The cinnabons were delicious (and out of a tube).

[Inchworm]

29. ok, that just seems a little, hmm

freaky, mad, insane on her part...

I'm thinking candles...

ok, I'm thinking I better shush! :rofl:

:)

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

43. Yeah, we have those candles

I like the one that smells like leather.

[Inchworm]

47. I didn't blush!

honest, no lie!

:rofl:









:blush:

[Fleshdancer]

27. why did she call you a fucking choad?

Divorce seems like too much work. I think you should just eat all the cinnabons instead.

On edit: oops! just read the reason...I still think divorce is too much work, but an acceptable revenge is in order. :D

[LostinVA]

32. I know you'll understand why I was so upset

I'm PMSing, and needing a hot, squooshy cinnabon ASAP. It was medicinal.

[Fleshdancer]

77. Well, when you put it that way....

The only advice I can give is to watch your back when it's her PMS time. :D Unless, of course, she's an over-achiever trophy wife that doesn't get PMS...if that's the case, then I'll be jealous enough to take your side in all domestic battles.

:D

[Critters2]

33. But, you're not a choad. So accept that she has made a mistake,

and don't make a big deal about it. It would be nice if she admitted, like our president, "I screwed up". But you may just have to live without that. Just don't be a choad about it.

And thank you for writing "Ask Critters".

Sincerely,

Critters

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

44. Yeah, she has to make her own damned cinnabons from now on

[Critters2]

61. That's more than fair!!

I make my own, and it doesn't do me any harm!

[mainegreen]

34. You should pretend to shop for used International Harvester Scouts online.

Make sure she sees this, and tell her you want the one with plaid seats. And the gun rack.
The trick is to be as serious as possible.

:D

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

45. She'd just be happy that we'd have something big enough to fit IKEA bookshelves in it

Unfortunately, this is NJ, land of ridiculous gun laws. I get pulled over enough without the gun rack.

[mainegreen]

51. They probably busted you pumping your own gas.

Deviant.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

60. Oh, how I wish

Fortunately, I got all the point tickets dropped. I totally sucked up to the Irish prosecutor who looked like Ted Kennedy.

[flvegan]

39. She called me one tonight too here in the Lounge.

We have so much in common. You should come over.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

48. Well, we might visit Florida sometime

But we're going to hang with Pacifist Patriot.

[foxfeet]

42. But at least you're a trophy choad.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

50. I'm the best damn cinnabon making trophy choad out there

[Danger Mouse]

53. Ew. Choad is such a gross word.

I would never call somebody who made me delicious cinnabons a choad. Never ever.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

58. She's starting a movement to reclaim the word choad, apparently

[Danger Mouse]

67. I think that's one word that can be left to whoever wants it.

:scared:

[LostinVA]

59. I didn't want the cinnabon to be too cool-- I wanted the frosting to melt and be all gooey

[Danger Mouse]

66. I won't hear any excuses! That's beyond forgiveness.

[RadiationTherapy]

54. Can you even BE a choad? Is this a gender thing?

This is fucked.

This is really fucked.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

62. Everyone can be a choad

It's part of reclaiming the word.

[RadiationTherapy]

64. Wow. I am proud to have women such as yourself blazing the trail for my daughter.

Thank you. A toast and a puff to choads! Innies, outies and undeclareds!!