Somebody help me remember that....

[LynzM]

*Everyone's else's problems and relationships are not mine to fix

*I am not responsible for everyone else's problems

*It's ok to stick up for myself

*It's ok that some people might not like me because of it

*It's ok to want negative and stressful people out of my life

/sigh

[Droopy]

1. I hear you LynzM

It sounds like people in your life have come to think of you as someone that they can dump their problems on. They have defined you as that kind of person and you have not told them otherwise. If that is the case, doesn't that piss you off? Harness the anger and let it work for you.

[LynzM]

2. Hey Droopy...

Yeah, I have a habit of trying to help everybody... and it wound me up in the middle of a lot of relationship troubles, this particular time. I finally put my foot down back in December, when I realized how much stress it was causing me, and said that I was not willing to be in the middle of their issues anymore, they could figure it out (or not) on their own. Well, she is moving out (they live upstairs) and wants to talk to me tonight, and I have no idea what about, and it's stressing me out.

[Droopy]

3. I'd just tell her, "It's been nice knowing you."

Or just have that general attitude in your conversation with her. You know "goodbye." It sounds to me like you'll be relieved when she's gone.

[Bertha Venation]

4. It's not easy.

It's not easy to look at a person and say "I'm sorry but there is nothing I can do for you." It's even harder to say something like "I don't want any further contact with you." And of course the fallout, if any, can be tough to take.

But it can be very freeing. It is so effing hard to do, but so worth it.

I wish you luck tonight. Here are some vibes for you, too. :hug:

[LynzM]

5. Thanks, Bertha...

You're right that it's really hard... I have such a hard time with conflict, confrontation, the possibility that people are angry at me, will not forgive me, that there will be no peaceful resolution to a problem.

Blech. Thanks for the hugs!

[NMDemDist2]

6. always remember and never forget

"No." is a complete sentence

:hi:

[LynzM]

7. Heh.

Thanks for the reminder! :hi: