Hell of a business plan there, Einstein.

[Robb]

There I was, sitting at home fretting constantly over how many termites there were in my house, how much my ducts needed cleaning, my pipes required a good rooting and my roof needed to be replaced through some brilliant insurance scam.

And then, you came to my door. My friend. No, my savior.

As I saw you walking across first my neighbor's lawn, then mine, I prayed. No, I didn't pray that you would pick up the Dr. Pepper can you nobly threw next to my driveway. No. I prayed to the skies above that you, gallant soldier, defender of all that is good and just in the world, would hang your golden info sheet on my doorknob.

Because I didn't want to look on the internet, or call friends, or heaven forfend use the phone book to solve my bug, pipe and roof problems. No. I wanted my hero.

And when I saw you had eschewed the standard doorhanger -- tip of the marketing spear, you -- and taped your message to my door, I thought only of your marketing brilliance, not the time I'd spend getting the tape off the glass.

And that giant Better Business Buerau (sic) symbol on the letterhead? That sold me. I don't care how much it looked like a photocopied parsnip. I'm yours. I swooned at Buerau, but you had me at "Better."

I'm signing all my checks and leaving them taped to the doorknob for you. Einstein.

[Redstone]

1. Hey, at least he didn't nail those fucking obnoxious spam signs on the telephone poles all

over your town.

Redstone

[HopeHoops]

2. I have a loud angry-sounding border collie (marshmallow actually) I use to ward off such intruders

Works for Jehovah Witness sorts too!