Pet diaries uncovered--a bit o' humor

[bif]

As seen in a dog's diary:
> >
> > 8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> > 9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite
> > 10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
> > 11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
> > Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
> > 1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
> > 3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
> > 4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
> > 5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
> > 7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
> > 9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
> >
> >
> > As seen in a cat's diary:
> >
> > Day 183 of my captivity:
> > My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
> > They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
> > The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
> > satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
> > Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
> >
> >
> > Day 184 of captivity:
> > Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
> > they were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the
> > stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I
> > once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try
> this
> > on their bed.
> >
> >
> > Day 185 of captivity:
> > Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to
> > make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into
> > their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
> cat
> > I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
> >
> >
> > Day 186 of captivity:
> > There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in
> > solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell
> > the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY
> > power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my
> > advantage.
> >
> >
> > Day 187 of captivity:
> > I am convinced the other captives are flunkies! and maybe snitches. The
> > dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
> > obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an
> > informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
> > every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety
> > is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time
> >
> >
>
>

[TXlib]

1. I saw one that added a line in the dog's diary

11:30am - Oh Boy! A trip to the vet! Bummer...