What astonishing feats can your pets accomplish?

[flvegan]

Tonight, my (now 10 month old) great dane got up a good head of steam, and with the front door held open and a prompt to "go outside and play", he leaped from the porch and cleared half my front yard. He had to clear a good 20 feet.

I'm currently looking to see if there's a "doggie olympics" to enter him in. I figure that with some good training and a fantastic cycle of steroids, in a couple years he can be my meal ticket.

I am of course kidding about the last part.

[Skittles]

1. my cat Riff Raff positions himself high in a tree

then drops down screaming in front of unsuspecting people walking the path below :(

[backwoodsbob]

3. my terrier thinks it's fun to jump on the freezer

my female shepperd thinks it's fun to drag her off

[Critters2]

9. LOL!!

That must be great fun to watch! :rofl:

[Skittles]

11. here is the evil bastid

got a couple of teenage neighbors trying to youtube him in action but no luck so far

[femmocrat]

36. OMG, that is hysterical!

:rofl: Hope someone doesn't have a heart attack, or you will be in big trouble!

[Bertha Venation]

72. LOLOL

:rofl:

[nomorenomore08]

2. My cat miraculously remembers his own name when it's time to eat.

:P

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. My cats can teleport.

They vanish into other dimensions so I can't find them anywhere no matter how hard I try, but manage to materialize suddenly, right at my feet, when I open a can of cat food.

[WolverineDG]

40. Mine do that too

:crazy:

dg

[SoxFan]

55. Mine apparate like house elves

I swear i even hear that little *pop* when they do it!

[Kashka-Kat]

76. either mine are teleporting or they have the ability to walk thru walls/ closed doors

[arcadian]

5. My kitties can jump up on a screen door and hang there with their claws.

They can also balance and walk across the top board on the fencing. It's really narrow.

[kedrys]

6. Evie has this freakish gravity problem

She uses up and down interchangeably. :P When we lived in a two-story house, she used to race up the stairs, bank shot off the wall and into the living room at a 30 degree angle, I shit you not, and land on the back of the couch. Damnedest thing I ever saw. :rofl:

The bad part is that she then taught the trick to her brothers. Thankfully, Socks and Plato had not reached their current mass yet, otherwise the house would have collapsed. :D

[Ikonoklast]

7. When our two latest kittens decide to chase each other,

Missy wll chase Mu by jumping off one chair and run sideways across the wall to cut him off before he can get to the kitchen.

I swear gravity has no affect on her.


My son calls her 'Circus Cat'.

[mainegreen]

8. May cat can stay exactly two feet aways from you at all times.

No closer, no further, walking, running, sitting.


Two feet.

[mcctatas]

10. my cat can selectively pull down all black articles of clothing

in my closet and lay on them until they are covered in tan kitteh fur!

[Inchworm]

12. My Akita can run "bull force" through dense woods

hits trees, breyers, random limbs.. and never slow one bit until he gets to his food bowl. Afterwich, he licks all the blood off his legs :D

The dauchund can spot ANY other animal within 200 yards or so. Even in the dark!

:crazy:

[BeachBaby]

13. My Old English Mastiff, Natasha.

Props: one bowl of water.

Place bowl in back yard. Allow Natasha to saunter over to take a long drink. When she brings her head back up, stand out of the way as she shakes her head - the foot-long strands of drool airborne for at least 30 yards.

I would like to take her onto a football field, where yard markers are. It would make distance measurements alot easier.

[erinlough]

66. My son's English Mastiff

can send those slingers to the ceiling in the house!!!

It's a good thing he's so cute.....

[Lil Missy]

14. My pooch knows the very minute I wake up. (He's deaf)

He gets his daily treat when I get up.

I don't know how he knows. But he bounces all over me and the house when I wake up.

[Robbien]

15. My cat fetches socks from the sock drawer

If the sock drawer is left open he will jump up and grab one sock and drag it down the hallway through the kitchen and then deliver it to anyone sitting in the living room. If he drops the sock on the way he doesn't pick it up but goes back to the start to get a fresh one from the drawer. There is a trail of dropped socks starting from the bedroom, all down the hallway and kitchen and living room. He doesn't stop in his sock delivery attempt until he finally delivers a sock to a human, or the sock drawer is empty.

[HopeHoops]

16. Our border collie can fart on command as a signal that she needs to go out (even just to pee)

[Lasher]

20. Take her on a traveling road show.

You'd get rich.

[TZ]

17. When she was a kitten my cat Sophie

once leaped off the top of my TV set and LANDED on a PICTURE FRAME...Thats right an inch wide frame. Still don't know how she managed it. Of course her weight sent it falling to the floor but that was an amazing balancing act....

[Urban Prairie]

18. My big black cat

Lenny will fetch if he is in the mood, when I toss twisted ring pipe cleaners. He will bring them back and drop them in my lap. The other two, his sister a female tortiseshell named Tasha and a male tuxedo named Sly won't return them, but will try to get to them before Lenny does.

My brother and I used to adopt stray dogs when we lived in Detroit in the 60s, since my late father did not care for animals, and would not get us one at the local humane society. There were often some abandoned dog packs that ran semi-wild in the neighborhoods, and one time we "adopted" two of them, one that turned out to be a blue tic hound and the other that looked much like a fox in size and color. As dumb as the hound (named Max) was, the little one (named Red Foxx) was exceptionally intelligent. I believe that this dog was very street-wise and was Max's "guardian".

That little dog could climb up and then back down (not jump) ANY type and height of fence. It was impossible to keep him corralled in our yard, he could somehow get out of any collar and rope we used. One afternoon when we got home from school, his collar and part of the rope was hanging off the overhead telephone wires, and the rest was snaked along the top of the backyard fence.

I watched from my bedroom window one morning, as Red Foxx tried to teach Max how to climb fences. He would climb over our alley fence and sit waiting for Max to do it. Max would fail, and Red Foxx would climb back over the fence to show him again, just unreal...

My father did not like having two dogs at the house, and told us that we had to get rid of one of them. My brother and I tried to explain how inseparable they were, but he wouldn't listen. One evening I came home for dinner and my brother was crying, he told me that our dad had put Red Foxx in his car and drove off to dump him off somewhere far away. I obviously became upset as well, but my mother looked at me and said that no matter how far away your father drops that dog off, it will be back. Sure enough, about 4 hours later, I heard the fence gate shake. Red Foxx had made it back, after being dropped off about seven miles away. His entire abdomen was dirty from running in the rain. I could not even begin to imagine how many busy city streets that dog crossed to return home.

[femmocrat]

37. That story about the dogs is just amazing.

I hope your dad let you keep him after his "incredible journey"!

[Urban Prairie]

60. I wish that this story had a happy ending

But it doesn't. About a year later, my father took Red Foxx to the humane society. When my brother and I found out, we at first were angry, then we spent two days trying to talk him in to getting the dog back. He finally relented, but by the time we got there, we were told that Red Foxx had been put down.

I think of that dog once and a while, but I got over his loss, and forgave my father for what he did. We eventually adopted other dogs that we were allowed to keep, and sold Max to a hunter.

[Cabcere]

19. One of my cats once set herself on fire.

Well, not really on fire, but she did singe her fur after falling asleep under a halogen desk lamp. She was fine - in fact, she didn't even notice, but my mom and I sure did! :puke: The funny thing is, this very same cat goes ballistic if you even try to pick her up. :shrug:

[yellowdogintexas]

21. I used to have a dog that would spend hours pulling rocks out of a stream.

Hours, standing there shivering, sticking his head under the water, getting exactly the right rock and depositing in on the bank.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

22. Ill give ya the number for A-Rod's dealer..LOL

[Dangerously Amused]

23. They can melt my heart on the darkest of days.

There was a certain stretch a while back when they were - literally - my only reason for living.

[taterguy]

24. Mine heals the sick

Seriously, he does Rec Therapy at a Children's Hospital

[Muttocracy]

57. :-)

:loveya:

[sarge43]

25. My cockatiel, Vern, hurts himself preening and falls off his perch at the same time.

Of course, the fact that he spent the first twelve years of his life with someone who smoked two packs a day might explain that. No, not me, someone else. We're thinking of renting him out to the AHA for a demo.

"This is your brain; this is your brain soaked in nicotine."

[old mark]

26. My dog - a half -great dane (not half great, great dane/doberman....)

can escape from a walking harness at will. He has done so several times, earning him the title of HoudiniDog.

He also lock his legs and make himself nearly impossible for humans to move, as he did outside the vet's office. The vet came out and gave him his check up and shots in the rain!

If you can train a Great Dane to do something they don't want to do, you are very proficient.

mark

[BarbaRosa]

27. Our 65lb. Andy can crawl up on the water-bed

and not make a ripple. I'm amazed at how nimble that meatball is.

[graywarrior]

28. Deadpan farting

Not a smirk....makes me believe it might have been me....

[Roon]

29. I used to have a cat

that would hang out on top of doors. He got in that habit when he tried to get to the parakeet cage,but long after the bird was gone, he still would hang out on top of doors.

[MineralMan]

30. My cat can turn expensive cat food into litter box tootsie rolls

in less than 24 hours. Does that count?

[underpants]

31. My one cat can be gay

seriously even the vet remarked on how "effeminate" he is. Loves cooking shows and show toons.

the girl cat has done the following
6 confirmed mouse kills at our old apartment
opened the oven
turned on and off the computer
jammed a washcloth down the tub drain, cranked on the hot water full blast, and almost flooded our old apartment
moved books out of the bookcase-on each level- (7 feet high) and created a ladder to climb up to the top-this was when she was so small she fit in my t-shirt pocket
pulled the drawers of my dresser open to a uniform distance. She did this by setting her feet on the bottom railing and latching on to the top of each drawer and leaning back. She loves the sock drawer.

[trof]

32. Max could open any door. And blow the car horn. And chew steel buckets.

He was a big German Shepherd.
When we had a dinner party I'd put him in the basement so he wouldn't be in the way 'greeting' all the guests. After everyone had arrived I'd let him out because he liked to socialize and they all liked him.

One night I forgot and just as we sat down to dinner, in walked Max.
???
I thought maybe I hadn't completely closed the basement door. When I went to look I found the doorknob chewed all to hell.

So we started locking him in the car in the walkout basement garage.
And if we didn't retrieve him soon enough he'd start honking the horn.

Once when we were on vacation he unlatched his gate at the boarding kennel and also freed all the other dogs. The owner was pretty shocked to see dogs all over the place when she opened up the next morning.
Oh, he didn't free any of the cats. Just the dogs.
;-)

I guess he was really unhappy that we left him there, because he also chewed up his galvanized steel water bucket. It looked like a collandar. I checked his teeth and gums. Everything just fine.
whew

[NV Whino]

33. My cats are champion snoozers

I'm thinking of entering them in the Kitty Olympics in 2010.

[DBoon]

34. Smokey has an ability to tell time

every morning at exactly 6:00 AM she crawls into bed and harasses us for a walk.

While she can tell time, she can't read a calendar. She does the same thing Saturday and Sunday mornings when we want to sleep in

[femmocrat]

35. I swear the corgis can count and tell time.

They know that they get TWO bowls of food (we divide it so they won't inhale it and up-chuck). Can't fool them!

And they have an uncanny sense of what time it is... time to go out, play-time, time to so to bed, etc.

Oh, and they can foretell bad weather by hiding in the shower or behind the toilet! Amazing little critters. :)

[KamaAina]

38. Kwan Yin could open pouches of semi-moist cat food

they're supposed to be cat-proof. Not!

I sent the pouches off to the cat food company, thinking that gorgeous, shiny black Kwanny would make a most excellent cat food spokesmodel. They were having none of it. "We only use professionally trained animals..." :eyes:

[janx]

39. You have a 10-month-old dane?!

I love danes and grew up with them! What's his name? Is he fawn, brindle, harlequin, a mix, what? Pics, please!

[flvegan]

43. I need to take some current pics of him.

He's a merle or merlequin, and his name is Dharma (my last big boy was Zen). I've had danes most of my life, and I do love them.

[janx]

48. I'm going to keep nagging you until you do!

I don't have room for a dane now--Huck is energetic enough and Daisy is too. I need to get them out again on some trails, as I've been a poor mom of energetic dogs, and they're bored.

I grew up with fawn danes, and I hated what was done to the ears. My parents realized after the second one that they had made a big mistake with the cropping of ears. It was hideous. Has Dharma cleared a few tables with his tail yet? :rofl:

Those dogs grow so fast that they knock over tables going under them ("I used to fit under here...")

The first dane, Blitzen (born on Xmas) was around when I was a baby, and the story went that when the elderly babysitter came around, he would sleep in front of the door to my room. He wasn't mean or vicious; he just wanted to sleep there when my parents weren't around.

The second dane, Judson, was known throughout our suburb of St. Louis. He was an escape artist and roamed. My parents should have neutered him long before they did. Once he was gone for weeks. The dog catcher guy hit him with a dart and it did not take, so then he hit him with another dart. Jud was very skinny when he returned. He had his own bed in my oldest brother's room, and my brother occasionally woke up screaming and swearing about Jud's farts.

Jud also had problems with his tail. He was a lean, tall dane of around 160 pounds, and his bony tail was very strong. He split his tail open from time to time when he wagged against the corners of walls or tables. You are probably familiar with the result: It was like taking a paint brush saturated with red paint and flinging it around the room. My father was a doctor and healed the tail at least twice by putting dressings and a finger splint on the end of Jud's tail. This worked, but in the meantime, God, what a racket! The plastic finger splint, even when buffered by some tape, made an enormous racket whenever Jud wagged--which was often.

Sorry to ramble--I'm just ecstatic to know about your danes, and I WANT PICS, dammit!

:hug:

[flvegan]

52. Please do!

I grew up with fawns as well. First, Big Ben. Then Sam Bam. My mom loves telling the story of how the day I came home from the hospital as a newborn, Big Ben was right there at the crib, poking his nose through the bars. My favorite picture in the world is of a shot of my bassinet on our deck with Ben stretched out across the entire walkway to me, on the alert. My mom says that NOBODY got near that bassinet without his okay.

Dharma is still trying to get under my desk. That's where he spent most of his time after we rescued him (at around 12 weeks or so). He doesn't quite get that he doesn't fit. I purposely have no tables to be cleared, having an ongoing dane household. It's just senseless. My kid years with danes came with some horror when as an adult I learned about ear cropping. Neither Zen nor Dharma have had their ears done, and I'll never do that to an animal so long as I live. Plus, they look twice as dufus-like with floppy ears.

I need to get a picture card reader for this laptop, and then I'll post some pics.

Loved hearing about your danes!

[janx]

58. Okay, knowing that you were not a vegan at birth...

how many roasts did you danes steal while you were growing up? :rofl:

The Blitz story (early 60s):

When I was still a babe, my mother and grandmother were preparing some kind of holiday dinner. The dinner consisted of standard fare for the time: a roast of beef, potatoes, salad, etc. They methodically prepared the food, and my mother put the roast and the salad on the table. My grandmother was a huge animal lover. I could write a book about the animals she fostered in her home.

At some point, my mother went back to the table to find that the roast was GONE! It was not nibbled; it was not scratched. It was GONE!

My mother was heartbroken. She was a young mother, after all. She complained to her mother, my grandmother, who said:

"Judith, you're just going to have to make a better salad."

:rofl:

Jud did the same thing when I was older. The roast was gone. But my mother was used it it by then. ;-)

[flvegan]

59. That I know of, one. A big ham roast.

I remember how pissed off my mother was. She didn't punish the dog, but she took the roast away and tossed it. Sam took it right off the kitchen counter. They had Ben for a few years before I was born, and another dane before that. I'll have to ask her if there were any other incidents.

Zen was like a henchman for our oldest dog. He's a furry little nightmare, but he was the boss. Zen would knock all sorts of treats and whatnot off counters, top of the fridge, wherever, at his request. He rarely got the spoils of his actions, rather that would go to the older dog.

[janx]

63. This is so funny! But I have to get to sleep--work tomorrow, etc.

Please post pics when you can!

[Darth_Kitten]

41. Speaks 5 languages.....and eats corn.

:evilgrin:

[Generic Brad]

42. My cat sings along with Rhianna

Every time the "Umbrella" video comes on she appears from out of nowhere and sings along. She loves to sing with Rhianna.

[LeftyMom]

44. Dora and Piglet, who don't weigh ten pounds combined, can crowd me out of a king size bed.

That's talent.

[AlCzervik]

45. Bob eats pretzels without choking on them.

[PBS Poll-435]

46. My Lab has single-handedly (or pawedly?1?) cleared the back yard of any kind of vegetation

In pursuit of throwing sticks.

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

47. We had a dachshund named Schultz who would play fetch by himself.

Schultz would drop his ball into the swimming pool where the water came out from the filter. He would then go over to the diving board and wait for the ball to make its way over with the current. He would then dive into the pool, grab the ball, and swim with it over to the ladder and then climb out. Repeat until bored.

My sister was a lifeguard and taught Schultz how to climb the ladder. The rest he learned himself.

[janx]

49. That is amazing!

We need video!

[A-Long-Little-Doggie]

78. My family had Schultz in the early 1980s.

There may be some 8 mm film somewhere??

[XemaSab]

50. Bailey can open the back door, and half the doors in the house.

It's VERY annoying. :eyes:

[Bryn]

51. My Big Boy Cat can sit with his back against wall or door or chair or pillow on my bed

His name is Saint Silver. He came to me as a stray kitten. Whenever he does this way on my pillow on my bed, he looks like a handsome dude waiting for me. :loveya:

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

53. Mick can stare down a ram trying to well, ram his head

And Beck hops around like a spider dog.

[janx]

54. My dogs manipulate me, and it's not good.

Recently, we've had a little game about their getting into the kitchen waste basket. Huck never did this before Daisy arrived, but as soon as she did, the game began. He waited until I left the house--to go to work, to do an errand, and later, even just to get something from my car.

The kitchen waste basket is a pedal-operated kind. If you have dogs larger than the little pooches, you probably have one of these. Huck had never attempted a raid before. When Daisy arrived, I suppose he decided to show off. Since he couldn't operate the pedal (or could he?), he would just ram the thing into a horizontal state onto the floor, spilling its contents and making a huge mess. Coffee grounds, garbage, and paper products were then fodder for him and Daisy to chew and throw all over the house, but most often in my home office and in my bedroom. (I won't go into doggie psyche here.)

Luckily, when this first started to happen, I was taking Dais to puppy classes and asked the doggy prof. about what I should do. I'd never had this happen before, and I'd always lived with and raised dogs. I'd always been able to catch them in the act before, which is crucial when raising canine companions, but at this point I was away from the house more than ever.

She told me to get a scat mat. I couldn't afford one for many months, but when my birthday approached, I asked my youngest daughter--the only one still living at home at the time--for a scat mat for my birthday.

It worked! We put it under the kitchen waste basket. Most of it was in front of the waste basket, which was up against a wall. It took us time to get used to avoiding the scat mat when we were in socks or bare feet, because--ouch!--the static shocks are annoying, but not painful. It's the kind of feeling that makes you swear mildly, half awake, while reaching for the morning oatmeal.

[janx]

56. Delete--dupe

[tabbycat31]

61. watch "Simon's Cat" videos on youtube

then you get an idea of my Tabby.

[seaker]

62. 'Makes' me hold hands (paws)

[Initech]

64. One of my dogs, I swear. can jump at least 20 feet in the air.

[sakabatou]

65. My cat can say, "Hello."

[Brother Buzz]

67. My dog should be my meal ticket if a can get a no cut contract

Sally, my Border Collie Heeler mix is in spring training for baseball. She is working real hard at second base snagging any ball hit even close to her. She would be a real asset at shortstop or third, but her arm is weak, hence she will have to settle for playing second base. Throwing is her weak spot and we are working on that.

Batting is another weakness, but her batting stance creates such a small strike pattern so she will undoubtedly become the Base-On-Ball Queen. Once on base, she can steal bases faster that all get out.

All in all she is mostly concentrating real hard, but I've discovered that we have to take her out of the game about the seventh inning because she forgets she is on base and suddenly chases a hit ball out into the outfield. She beats the outfielders to the ball every time.

[Canuckistanian]

68. One of my cats meows at exactly 3:50 every day

And the other one jumps into a hole underneath a bathroom sink and emerges in the basement somewhere.
We've never found out how she does it.

I also let her out in the attached garage and she appears outside in a matter of seconds - never figured out how she does that either. No open doors, no windows. There are open soffits from the attic, but that would require her jumping straight up 6 1/2 feet through the attic access hole.

I think she's the reincarnation of Houdini.

[MajorChode]

69. My dog manages to shit outside most of the time

I figure at 17 years old, that's not a bad trick.

[Raffi Ella]

70. lol, that musta been a sight to see.

There's a guy in my neighborhood that has a Dane, walks him every day by my house. I'm amazed by his size, he weighs more than I do! And his bark, omg. My 100lb Golden Pyr would stand on her hind legs trying to be bigger whenever he'd bark at her.

My dog now is only 50lbs and whenever she see's him? she tries to get out of her collar and run away, lol.

She's fearless in the woods though! She jumps up 10 feet in the air trying to get a better view of whatever it is she's chasing. All of a sudden I'll see her just pop up! legs straight, tail out, neck craning to SEE it!!! It's hysterical.

Wasn't so funny when she was a puppy and would clear the back of the couch and land in my lap when I wasn't expecting it - especially if I was holding a drink.

She also throws things at me. She'll get her ball or a bunch of treats in her mouth and come running! Then just before she gets to me she'll cock her head and let'em fly out of her mouth at me. haha, she really is a funny little thing.

[Midlodemocrat]

71. My dogs have single handedly destroyed the floor in the sunroom

because they don't use the doggie door.


:eyes:

[SallyMander]

73. Simon can get his tongue halfway down in a beer bottle

I shit you not.

[petronius]

74. My cat can sleep 25 hours in a single day

It sounds impossible, but it is completely consistent with the Theory of Relativity...

[Graybeard]

75. "My duck can do a wonderful trick. She can lay an egg."

Grumpy old woman: "And what is so wonderful about that?"

"Well...can you lay an egg?"

Shirley Temple in Curly Top (1935) ;)

[Iggo]

77. Mine can hold his breath for 25 years.

Wait. What?

NOOOOOOOoooooooo......!