A-Rod Dead at 33

[NewJeffCT]

A-Rod Dead At 33

NEW YORK—Baseball legend and mythical figure A-Rod, the New York Yankee third baseman and three-time American League Most Valuable Player, was declared dead Saturday after it was reported, and later confirmed, that the former Seattle Mariner and Texas Rangers All-Star tested positive for two anabolic steroids during the 2003 baseball season.

A-Rod was 33.

"A-Rod was a person, but a much better baseball player," a statement from the New York Yankees' front office read in part. "We only hope that members of the press will respect our wishes for privacy during this very difficult period. We can assure you that the Yankee organization is going to be haunted by A-Rod's passing for a very, very long time, or at least until his contract expires in 2017."

"Though A-Rod has been taken from us, his impact on this team has been greater in the past few days than it has ever been before," the statement continued. "It feels like he's not even gone."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/a_rod_dead_at_33

[Chan790]

1. Amusing, but...

for this early in the mornin' that could have used a satire tag in the headline for those of us who have to commute in NYC. Not that he's all that popular at the moment but that would really get the ire up in some people and commuting in rush hour isn't fun on the best day.

[cboy4]

2. That's a disturbing title for a joke thread.

It took away any amusement I would have otherwise found.

[Locrian]

3. not funny n/t