A weird thing happened to me last night and I would like some opinions on it.

[Midlodemocrat]

We have a 'quick stop' in our neighborhood that I frequent a lot. Mainly because they are the Fed Ex drop and I send a lot of stuff out Fed Ex, and the store itself is really convenient for things like bread, milk, gas.

Owned and operated by a Pakistani family. The brotherw who are there most of the time do not speak English very well. (This will become important towards the end of this post. I am not Paco Rabinowitzing them)

So last night, I stopped in to get a copy of the NY Times. I said hello to the brother behind the counter and he said to me. "You come in here all the time and you always ask me how I am".

Like he was pissed. It was really, really weird. I always say "how are you today?" to the cashier at a store, just kind of a benign pleasantry.

So, I've been thinking about this and wondering if the difficulty with the language and my talking to him were too much? That he doesn't want to go to the trouble of translating and replying?

Or maybe he was just having a bad day?

Any opinions? It just seemed so odd to me to be so pissy about a very casual greeting.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

1. It's just that your hatred of furriners is obvious

[Midlodemocrat]

2. Haruka for the win!!!

:rofl:


You freaky little indigo you.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

7. It's intuitive

It brings me back to when the 7-11 guy yelled at my friend, "I hate all you fucking crackers!" Of course, I'm sure you weren't pulling the pin on the Slurpee machine to test the consistency of the flavors.

[Nickster]

3. Because I'm a bleeding heart, commie, pinko...I'd lean towards language difficulty. Maybe he's

translating your question as if you were asking him if he were sick. Either that, or he's just a dick.

[Midlodemocrat]

5. Truthfully, that is the only thing that makes sense to me.

Because he's a nice guy. Always calls me 'Ma'am'. Very polite. Nice to the neighborhood kids who come in.

I think it has to be a language thing.

[tigereye]

9. maybe he felt that your asking implied that he was ill or something was

wrong? :shrug:


I dunno, could be cultural. I always ask the folks who run the quick-stop down the road how they are (they are also from Pakistan) and they are always happy to tell me. I always ask about their toddlers... However, it often seems like the husband doesn't know as much English since his replies are kind of truncated...


I always want to ask them about the politics of their homeland, but I figure that might be seen as uncool...

[Midlodemocrat]

11. It's just that I've been asking him "How are you?" for years, it seems.

[tigereye]

20. maybe it implies you want a relationship, or something!

I'm kidding, of course. Although I once found out in college that asking a guy I worked with (he was from Africa) to lunch, implied that I wanted to be his mistress or something... :eyes:

[Midlodemocrat]

21. Sure. Like I don't have enough on my plate with Mr.Midlo.

:rofl:

[Jamastiene]

4. He might not have meant to sound pissy.

Different cultures and trying to translate a different language, then convert a reply could cause different affectations in a person's mannerisms.

Then again, if he did mean to be pissy, I guess that just means there are assholes in every culture.

Either way, that was a rather awkward response.

[Fire Walk With Me]

6. Try asking it without laughing and pointing.

[Midlodemocrat]

8. That is great advice. Thank you.

:rofl:

[Fire Walk With Me]

13. I do what I can for our shaky international relationships

because we're all ambassadors.

[JVS]

10. What does Paco Rabinowitzing mean?

[Midlodemocrat]

12. Two words.

Asian Woodcarver.

[JVS]

14. Explain!

[Midlodemocrat]

17. Remember Radio_Lady?

The Asian Woodcarver debacle, er, thread? Java Queen posted about his Mexican Jewish Gardener named Paco Rabinowitz. And, of course, the lounge never forgot.


:rofl:

[JVS]

18. Someone has given Radio Lady a valentine heart!

I didn't know the banned could be given hearts

[Midlodemocrat]

19. OMG!!!! That is hysterical.

[no name no slogan]

22. Remember "Welcome Back Kotter"? Juan Epstein was a Puerto Rican Jew

And I've also heard tell that many Crypto-Jews from Spain settled in northern Mexico back during their colonial times, so it's entirely possible Paco Rabinowitz is real... :D

[jobycom]

28. Not just Mexico, but throughout the Southwest US, and not all were "crypto-Jews."

Brief history: Much of Spain was part of the Islamic world from the 8th to the 15th centuries. Muslims were more fair to Jews than Christians, who wanted to kill or convert them all, so Jewish culture flourished in Spain, especially around the 12th century. Jews held high positions, even vizier, in the Muslim government, and many became leading scientists, philosophers and artists. It's sometimes considered a Golden Age of Jewish writing, arts, and culture.

When the Muslim government began falling to Christianity, from the 12th through the 15th centuries, the Jews lost their equal status, and eventually began leaving Spain, and Europe. Many traveled to the New World and settled in the Spanish colonies, from Mexico up through the southwest US. So in addition to the descendants of Crypto-Jews who are trying to reclaim their heritage, you also have descendants of the Sephardic Jews throughout the region, and throughout the world, so there's nothing particularly odd about Hispanic-Jewish names or heritage.

[no name no slogan]

33. If you go to certain parts of the Balkans and Turkey...

You will hear Jews speaking what sounds like Spanish but what is actually Ladino, the Latin equivalent of Yiddish. In fact, there are still newspapers published in Ladino in Turkey, as there's still a decent-sized Jewish community, who came there after the Reconquista.

Had the Spaniards not booted out the Jews and Muslims from Al-Andalus, I'd argue that Spain could have been an even greater world power than it became.

[jobycom]

34. It was one of the world's great cultures, that's for sure.

Al Andulus fell not just because of the Christians invading or the Spanish Christians rising up, it also fell because of internal political and religious struggles in the various Islamic governments that arose. Most of the great advances in Europe in the later Middle Ages came from Muslim Spain--mathematics, philosophy, a more rational theology, troubadour poetry and the whole concept of Courtly Love (which our Top 40 songs are still based on).

The Muslims in Spain helped shape Europe and even Christianity in ways most westerners just don't know about. There's a lot of Islam in modern Christianity. Al Andulus also helped shape Islam more than many Muslims realize--for a couple of centuries, Spain was the cultural center of the Western world, rivaled only by China, and some would argue a couple of western hemisphere cultures.

[kwassa]

15. I've had some similar culture issues with Korean shopkeepers

Americans expect a certain friendliness in their customer service. It is also nice if those going into retail in this country can speak the language. When I lived in LA, there were many instances of recent immigrants from Korea owning and running small convenience stores without either American-style friendliness or knowing enough English to communicate. Those that were still in business a few years later had learned both.

There also might be cultural issues around women speaking to men, too. Some of these cultures are extremely sexist.

[MrCoffee]

16. "Paco Rabinowitzing"? You simply cannot do that to the English language.

U got Conned out of your money.

[jobycom]

29. And yet, there it is, proving you wrong.

:P

[Redstone]

23. That is indeed odd. I'd be surprised at that reaction as well.

Redstone

[applegrove]

24. There was a guy living down the street from me who when he acknowledged me

sorta stared a little bit too long & emoted when he said hi. I've had creepy experiences in my life so one time I said to him "why are you always saying hi to me like that". He said "I'm just saying hi". I felt bad because he obviously felt bad. I've seen him with his friends and he's definitely not a pushover. I just figure he is a little weird and I can't do weird. I still said hi to him after our talk. I just figure there is something odd about how he says hello and I'll be able to put my finger on it...does he stare too long..some day. And then the mystery will be solved. But for now I say to myself it is just his way... and I'm sure I'll see him again when the snow melts.

[XemaSab]

25. Nice post,

Ellen. :eyes:

[Lil Missy]

26. Sounds like a cultural thing. Just a guess.

[City of Mills]

27. He was probably having a bad day

Maybe he just pulled an 18 hour shift?

[CreekDog]

30. Oh! I finally get it now!

:think: :rofl:

[jobycom]

31. You could be reading him wrong, he could have been reading you wrong, who knows?

We weren't there, none of us know.

Americans do have a history of imposing themselves on more reserved cultures and forcing our own sensibilities on other people. IF he was actually reproaching you, maybe he feels you crossed some line.

I always follow the lead of the person I'm greeting, whether they are Americans or Paco Rabinowitzes or something else. I smile politely but unobtrusively, and only offer more if they seem to welcome it or offer more. A lot of other cultures feel Americans are too forward. Heck, even Americans don't always understand each other. Think of northerners and southerners and how different their manners are.

Next time you see him just nod politely. If he smiles, smile back. If he says something, say something back. If he wants the distance, respect the distance. That's about all I can say.

[Gormy Cuss]

32. Tell to go the fuck back to his country if he doesn't like it.

Seriously, I'd assume he was having a bad day.

[crimsonblue]

35. Learn to say "have a nice day" in Urdu...

learn a couple of phrases in his language. That'd let him know you are interested in his existence.

[seaker]

36. We never know when we touch a life...

[DeepBlueC]

37. He probably has a post-graduate degree

and he came here to be a soda jerk. Just about every Pakistani cab driver in this city (and that is just about every cab driver) is an engineer or has some other degree or professional accreditation and he will drive a cab for 18 hours a day to put his kids through university. They will have professions in this country but he never will. I'd be pissed.

[DeepBlueC]

39. deleted

deleted

[auntAgonist]

38. The tone of voice ...

Depends on HOW he said it. I can almost hear him saying it. Perhaps he's just commenting, you know. "you come in here .... " Maybe it surprises him that you care enough to ask him EVERYDAY? hmmmmm dunno.

:hi:
:hug:

aA