Irony alert: I had great difficulty opening the Brawny paper towels package

[Bossy Monkey]

Fortunately, the actual paper towels weren't quite brawny enough to overcome my great physical strength. Soon I'll be tearing phone books in half-- one page at a time, but still.

[Jamastiene]

1. Ya should have gotten Bounty instead.

It's the quicker picker upper. As evidence, I quickerly picker upper the multi-pack of Bounty and fling it across the room when I can't open it.

:hide:

[Bossy Monkey]

3. I was actually looking for Viva, which has a much more cheerful name

and doesn't attempt to impugn my manhood, such as it is. Just can't count on Food Lion...

[azmouse]

2. Could you open this jar for me now that you're all warmed up?

:)

[Bossy Monkey]

4. Sure, just lemme go get my hammer

:P