Who is Jack Schitt??

[Lil Missy]

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt

[lunatica]

1. That is a masterpiece!

I wish I could say something that was clever but I'm agog!

:thumbsup: :headbang: :yourock: :applause: :rofl:

[Jamastiene]

2. I love that.

:rofl:

[GreenPartyVoter]

3. *snarf*

[Dystopian]

4. OMG!

:rofl:
I can't believe you posted that!
Someone sent me this link a while ago.
:rofl:
http://jack.zunino.net/knowjack.htm
peace~

[Lil Missy]

6. I've also saw this at least 20 years ago. I'm sure it's been around.

[bluesbassman]

5. You forgot to mention the spinster aunt...

Loda.:)

[texanwitch]

7. Don't forget the cousin I Do Not Give A Schitt.

I know this Schitt really well.

[Pryderi]

8. Who is Licmai Ahs?

[bluesbassman]

10. That's funny. My friend used to order stuff as Richard Nibbler.

:rofl:

[Lil Missy]

11. He goes by an alias now" Seymore Butts

[Road Scholar]

9. I'm sorry but I don't know Jack Schitt. nt

:shrug:

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[nytemare]

12. You will love this video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuRwis3_iVk

[Lil Missy]

14. ......

:spray:

[MissMillie]

13. um... don't know him

:shrug:

[rurallib]

15. no Fucken Shitt?

[Lil Missy]

16. I'm series!!!!!

[Lil Missy]

26. OMG! I forgot to include the Fucken marriage to a Schitts!

:o

;-)

[jobycom]

17. Holy Crap! Ain't that a pisser?

[Lil Missy]

18. Better to know the truth than be left in the dark.

[Lil Missy]

19. Schitt kick.

[Lil Missy]

20. ......

[Dystopian]

21. Wearing your Schitt kickers?

;-)

:hi:

peace~

[Lil Missy]

22. yes!!!

:hi:

[Dystopian]

24. Thought so ; )

;)

:hi:

peace~

[jakefrep]

23. Octomom's sperm donor?

:shrug:

[Lil Missy]

25. No kidding. I can't even wrap my brain around that. I think it's terribly sad.

:-(

[leftofthedial]

27. I don't know Jack Schitt.

apparently.

[Lil Missy]

28. Well, "Fuckin" Schitt escaped my radar, so now I am embarrassed.

:blush:

[leftofthedial]

34. This whole thread is full of Schitt

s

[NYC_SKP]

29. Mike Oxlong knows Jack. And Jack *knows*...

...Mike Oxlong.

:evilgrin:

[Lil Missy]

30. Not my type.

:)

[NYC_SKP]

31. Me neither, Lil Missy....

That's fer SURE!!!

:P

[Lucian]

32. I don't give a schitt.

:D

[Lil Missy]

33. But, do you give a fuck?

:P

[MineralMan]

35. Check with Mike Hunt...You'll find the answer there.

[Lil Missy]

36. ......

:spank:

[Lil Missy]

37. Another Schitt kick for the night crowd.

Gawd, I am so pissed right now.

I need to cheer up.