There's no internets in heaven?

[pokerfan]

Watching Law and Order right now.

(Hell is probably dial-up but that's better than nothing.)

[jobycom]

1. The wiring is too old and the marble walls are just impossible to route cable through.

Of course, His Omnitpotency could just fix it with that miracle thing he does, but he's distracted ever since Jesus ran off and joined a hip-hop crew.If you see an act act called "MC X and Fish Posse" tell them Dad really wants the minivan back.