Speaking of p****es, as we all seem to be doing, here is a joke!

[Strong Atheist]

There was a young man who had recently visited an exotic country. Shortly after he came back, he started to have an itch. It became an unbearable burning, and he went to see a doctor. They took tests. By the time they called him back, it was turning green.

"Bad news, I'm afraid", the doctor said. "There is nothing we can do. We are going to have to cut it off".

"Cut it off!" wailed the young man. "Nooooo!"

He ran out.


Desperate, he searched information, and found a healer from that country. He made an appointment and went to see that healer.

The healer examined him. "Oh, you have been to my home country, I see" said the healer. "I bet doctors here have told you that they have to cut it off."

"Yes", wailed the young man.

"No, we don't have to cut it off", said the healer.

"Oh, thank goodness!" cried the young man. "I am too young for that!"

"No, we don't have to cut it off. Three, four days, it fall off on its own." said the healer.

[crispini]

1. heheheh.

that's awful. :D

[Strong Atheist]

2. Thank you, thenk you, I will be here all week... nt.

[Turbineguy]

8. He'll still have

his memories!

[Arugula Latte]

3. Heh heh. And along those lines ... Here's a classic

A guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me.
My penis is orange."

The doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, "How are things going at work?"

The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. The guy responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours, I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy."

So the doc figures this isn't the reason. He asks the guy, "How's your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago."

The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress.

But the guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of her!"

So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer. He inquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?"

The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I just sit at home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos."

[Strong Atheist]

10. That was an lol!

:rofl:

:yourock:

[azmouse]

4. A man finds Aladdin's lamp and asks the genie

for a penis that touches the ground.... so his legs fall off.


:hide:

[trof]

5. A guy walks into a bar...

Orders a Martini.
Has a couple more.
Puts his briefcase on the bar and motions the bartender over.
"Wanna see something cool?"
"Sure."

He opens the briefcase and puts a miniature piano on the bar.
Out of the briefcase steps a little man 1 foot tall dressed in white tie and tails. He sits down at the piano and begins to play beautifully.

The bartender is amazed.
"That's the damnedest thing I've ever seen. Where'd you get him?"

"I was on a safari in Africa last year. One night a native stumbled into our camp. He'd been mauled pretty badly by a lion. I cleaned up his wounds, did some makeshift stitching with what I had in our first aid kit. He stayed with us about a week while he recuperated. When he was ready to move on, he told me that he was a shaman and, in gratitude for my help, he would grant me one wish. What I ASKED for was a 12 inch penis. I guess he didn't understand English that well."
;-)

[Bucky]

6. I don't get what this has to do with pir*tes

[Lucian]

9. Ha!

:thumbsup:

[Strong Atheist]

11. .

:thumbsup:

[PassingFair]

7. I heard THIS one at work this week:

A mother is driving her grade schooler to the store.
He is strapped into his car seat in the back and
happily looking around, when SUDDENLY, from the
car in front of her, a large dildo comes flying
out of the back window and slaps against the
windshield.

The mother hopes that the kid has not seen anything,
but the kid asks "What was THAT?"

"Just a bug hitting the windshield, honey." She says.










"Oh" says the kid..."I don't know how that thing could
FLY with a dick THAT big".

:blush:

[no name no slogan]

12. It's hard to understand you with all those asterisks in your mouth

:thumbsup:

[Bucky]

13. Just wait until they come

out. Then it'll be less garbled.