Separation.

[DCBob]

Married 16 years and my wife and I have decided to split up. It was not a total shock -- we have been drifting apart for a couple of years. It seems it started when my wife went through pre-menopause. Her personality began to change to the point that I felt like she was a stranger to me at times. At the same time I was changing some too -- getting more laid back and thinking about downsizing and winding down a bit. My wife on the other hand was getting more and more ambitious looking for job promotions and more and more responsibility with more time at the office and more travel. Nothing wrong with that necessarily but it became a clash of priorities and personalities. I began to lose my love and trust in her and she began to lose her love and respect for me. We had discussed splitting up before but always worked it out somehow but yesterday we decided this was the end. It's very sad and disturbing. I think it is for the best for both of us but it is hard to dump 16 years of marriage in the trash. Any suggestions on how to get through this besides getting drunk? Thanks for listening.

[PassingFair]

1. Kids? n/t

[DCBob]

2. No. I guess that is blessing.

That was another issue for us. I sort of wanted kids. She never did.

[av8rdave]

3. If you're splitting up, be thankful you never did have kids

[DCBob]

Yes, that is so true. That would complicate things many time over.

Something to be thankful for I suppose.

[av8rdave]

7. Best wishes to you and your SO

I hope you find the best resolution, whether the final outcome is together or apart.

[DCBob]

9. Thank you.

[PassingFair]

10. Sorry....16 years IS a long time.

Some people could have gone through
multiple marriages in that span!

Try not to think of it as "16 years in the trash".

Life just flows...none of your years have been
"wasted".

I'm sure there were good times and bad, just as
there would have been if you were with someone
else, or by yourself.

:hug:

[DCBob]

11. That's true. There were many good years and good times.

Thank you.

[ScreamingMeemie]

4. All I can say, as a recent widow (yes, loss is loss and you can compare

this) is just breathe in tiny increments to get through the day. Just keep taking really tiny baby steps. You'll be okay. I promise. I still am...sort of. :hug: Happy belated Valentine's day...I didn't celebrate either.

[DCBob]

6. Thank you.

[DCBob]

13. and Happy belated Valentines to you too!

You are very kind.

[onlyadream]

5. I'm really sorry

that must be very hard. I'm married 14 years and splitting up would really suck. On the up side, now you have the opportunity to meet someone who is more like you and who wants what you want. I watched my sister go thru this a few years ago and she was practically suicidal. Today she is living with the LOVE OF HER LIFE!!! And, since he has kids, she finally has a family (didn't have kids with her ex either - he didn't want them). I expect her and her boyfriend to be married this time next year :).

[DCBob]

8. Thank you. I hope that is possible.

[crimsonblue]

12. lots of pot. n/t