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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:01 PM
Original message
There should be no shame in addiction
No idea why there is - it's a biological process gone awry

You have to think of it as such

Why anyone shames the addicts is beyond me...

Anyway - your thoughts?
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:12 PM
Response to Original message
1. For the most part, it is a biological process caused by voluntary behavior.
I'm not saying it's easy to kick an addiction--some of them will kill the addict rather than let him or her detoxify--but doing the things that cause addiction in the first place is pretty stupid. It is not something that just happens to people. Except for involuntary exceptions like pain patients, it is entirely self-inflicted. And yeah, I take a dim view of that. And considering that there is no effective treatment for the psychological aspects of addiction once detoxification is completed, why would anyone risk it?
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:21 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. But it happens. And to some very smart people too.
Its voluntary, and it is dangerous - but if treated as for what it is, a natural process that needs to stop, rather than this shaming, locking up, etc., addicts.

Saying its stupid is still shaming the addict
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TZ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:24 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. But its very hard
because with most other diseases you don't have the patient really hurting other people. Addictive behavior is destructive to not only the addict but the people around them. Its hard not to have a stigma attatched when addictive behavior causes things like lying, stealing, violent behavior...
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Taverner Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:26 PM
Response to Reply #3
4. Not all of it is though
Not all addicts turn to crime to support their habit

Sure, it can happen

It can happen for alcohol...or even cigarettes

I was busted as a kid for shoplifting was stealing a carton of cigarettes

But most addicts find a way to survive their habit because they just don't have treatment options

AA works for some people, but not all people

And for that we need a health program that tackles this - not by shame, but by medicine.



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Lyric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 09:06 PM
Response to Reply #4
9. And a large part of the reason that addiction leads to crime is because
Edited on Sun Feb-22-09 09:07 PM by Lyric
so many addictions are illegal. Thus, addicts are forced to turn to the black market and the crime world for their "fix."

De-criminalization would reduce drug crime drastically. You don't often see people committing home invasions and muggings in order to get the cash to buy tobacco or beer, ya know?
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:14 PM
Response to Reply #2
13. Yes it is.
And it's still stupid. Even if an otherwise smart person does it.
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Jeep789 Donating Member (935 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 09:16 PM
Response to Reply #1
11. Self inflicted? Not everyone becomes an addict even after
experimenting with alcohol, drugs, gambling, etc.. Are equally upset with those that ever try any of the fore-mentioned or only with those that, due to a differing chemistry, become addicted?
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Deep13 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:13 PM
Response to Reply #11
12. No they don't.
And frankly, I don't know to what extent differences in body chemistry --if it is too different from the norm it will kill the person--can be blamed. I doubt too many people become addicts from "experimenting" with booze or some of the less addicting drugs. And I'm not "upset." I am simply discussing my understanding of the facts.
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lost-in-nj Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:35 PM
Response to Original message
5. no shame
I am addicted to

alcohol


and i am not going to say


sorry

lost
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seabeyond Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:47 PM
Response to Original message
6. shame only excalates the behavior. i agree. n/t
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 08:56 PM
Response to Original message
7. i got no shame in my game
with me, it's what you see is what you get (like the old soul song).

i haul ass and get paid.

i like fast cars, loose women, and cold beer.

i've been a worse drunk, at least now it's maybe twice a week rather than everyday.

it's no longer a lifestyle, no longer impels me to travel great distances a la smokey and the bandit in pursuit of some scheme.

i figured out a way to generate revenue and i transact business. the amount of bills i have now prevents the life of the libertine i once led. but oh well, i have a place to live and work.
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harmonicon Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 09:05 PM
Response to Original message
8. I agree
I don't get it, really..... except that I think a lot of people like to just feel superior, and will pick out almost anything about someone else to condemn to make themselves feel better about their own shit lives.
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Drunken Girlfriend Donating Member (310 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 09:09 PM
Response to Original message
10. Re:Addiction
I don't think there is shame in being an addict,but
there is shame in the actions and behaviour that comes along
with being an addict.

Addiction is almost always a life long battle,
and is no different from battling other types of diseases.

And yes,addiction is most definitely a disease.

People should have more compassion to ppl who struggle with
addiction.

And if it's something they can't understand or relate to,
then they should read up on it,do some research.

Most of us have had addictions,or known a close luved one
who has suffered from some kind of addiction.

So it's safe to say it's a subject that we can all relate to.
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Fire Walk With Me Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:31 PM
Response to Original message
14. Addiction is an ego-based disease, along with the physical/mental mutation.
Shame is thus a direct, unavoidable component.

All acts of addiction are expressions of self-hatred (which again is ego).
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jobycom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:39 PM
Response to Original message
15. Shame is useless, but an addict is responsible for failing to get treatment.
Feeling shame for an addict is often just a self-indulgent excuse to continue an addiction, and trying to cast shame on an addict is self-indulgence on the part of the caster, and usually serves only to make the addict feel lower, which gives the addict more of an excuse to feed the addiction.

But I won't forgive the addict who refuses treatment. The addict makes the decision to not seek help. The addict makes the decision to feed the addiction. Once they are wasted--alcohol or drugs, anyway--the addict is no longer responsible for their decisions, or for their actions, but the decision to feed the addiction is theirs, and they are responsible for it.

There is a period before an addict knows they are an addict, when it it still partying, or still just a temporary fix for a tough time, and that's different. That's beyond their control, for the most part. But there is a point where they know they are an addict, even if they deny it, and from then on, it is their business to get treatment, and their business if they fall back off the wagon. I don't care about shame one freaking bit, but there is responsibility.

There is also genuine mental illness, which excuses all behavior, since a mental illness means a person is not in control of their own mind. And there are cases where an addict can't get help, for financial reasons, or because they never reach a dried out stage where they can be rational, or others. I understand those, I sympathize. For that matter, I sympathize with the addict who refuses treatment, but that's not the same as excusing it.

I've got tons of addiction (and mental illness) in my family and around it, and I've watched the lives of those who aren't addicts, or even worse, those who are addicts in remission, sucked down the drains by addictions. That's why some people try to shame an addict, to force them to want to change. It's a useless, though to me understandable, effort to force someone to change. You can force a healthy person to change behavior by shaming them, so some people make the mistake of thinking you can shame an addict, too. You can't. And sadly, I've learned this by doing it wrong.

And there are those who just don't make the effort to understand, or who just hate, and they try to shame an addict because of their own failings. The shame is on them.

Just my thoughts, after spending part of the day with an addict relative of mine.
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Inchworm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:41 PM
Response to Original message
16. ok.. what is shame?
argh.

Good thread though.

:hi:
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elleng Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:46 PM
Response to Original message
17. People just do not understand it;
like some will say 'its voluntary; they decide to drink,' or whatever, not understanding that once 'they' drink they are not like everyone else - they CAN'T just stop. Addicts bodies PREFER the bad stuff to anything else, like alcohol.

Its ignorance, and it allows others to feel superior: "Well, I can control how much I drink; why can't HE?"
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FloridaJudy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:49 PM
Response to Original message
18. I'm an alcoholic.
Perfectly legal drug - it's even advertised on TV - that most people can handle, but that I can't.

In that respect, it's just like a lot of other diseases. Ordinary people can handle the occasional sugar binge: diabetics can't. Bread and pasta are perfectly safe - unless you've got celiac disease. Except people don't treat you as if you're a moral failure because you can't digest gluten. And now they're starting to blame Type 2 diabetics for their former dietary excesses (yeah, I'm overweight and I've got it, but so does a relative who's been underweight all his life).

I think shaming people compounds the problem. Some of the most productive, creative people in this society are recovering alcoholics and addicts. Stephen King and Eric Clapton agree. So did the late Ann Richards.
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petronius Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Feb-22-09 11:51 PM
Response to Original message
19. I think it's a combination of fear and helplessness
Fear that we could become addicted ourselves - we're not so totally in control of our actions and destinies as we hope, and an anger that grows from the helpless realization that we can't fix an addict with a course of pills and maybe a procedure or two. The addict will require time, effort, heartbreak, and expense, all of which may be wasted.

On top of that, addiction often leads to squalid behavior that embarrasses the addicts family, which brings us right back to anger.

So, we shame the addict - partly out of petty revenge and partly to convince ourselves that we'll never go down that route...
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