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Feeling shame for an addict is often just a self-indulgent excuse to continue an addiction, and trying to cast shame on an addict is self-indulgence on the part of the caster, and usually serves only to make the addict feel lower, which gives the addict more of an excuse to feed the addiction.
But I won't forgive the addict who refuses treatment. The addict makes the decision to not seek help. The addict makes the decision to feed the addiction. Once they are wasted--alcohol or drugs, anyway--the addict is no longer responsible for their decisions, or for their actions, but the decision to feed the addiction is theirs, and they are responsible for it.
There is a period before an addict knows they are an addict, when it it still partying, or still just a temporary fix for a tough time, and that's different. That's beyond their control, for the most part. But there is a point where they know they are an addict, even if they deny it, and from then on, it is their business to get treatment, and their business if they fall back off the wagon. I don't care about shame one freaking bit, but there is responsibility.
There is also genuine mental illness, which excuses all behavior, since a mental illness means a person is not in control of their own mind. And there are cases where an addict can't get help, for financial reasons, or because they never reach a dried out stage where they can be rational, or others. I understand those, I sympathize. For that matter, I sympathize with the addict who refuses treatment, but that's not the same as excusing it.
I've got tons of addiction (and mental illness) in my family and around it, and I've watched the lives of those who aren't addicts, or even worse, those who are addicts in remission, sucked down the drains by addictions. That's why some people try to shame an addict, to force them to want to change. It's a useless, though to me understandable, effort to force someone to change. You can force a healthy person to change behavior by shaming them, so some people make the mistake of thinking you can shame an addict, too. You can't. And sadly, I've learned this by doing it wrong.
And there are those who just don't make the effort to understand, or who just hate, and they try to shame an addict because of their own failings. The shame is on them.
Just my thoughts, after spending part of the day with an addict relative of mine.
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