My son's birthday would be tomorrow. Fucks me up every year since he died.

[Lil Missy]

I don't think it ever goes away. I am so sad. It didn't need to happen.

I just hate this time of year.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My deepest condolences...

What a terrible, wrenching loss that must be...

I cannot even imagine what that must feel like...

I am so very sorry...

:hug: :hug:

:cry: :cry:

[Withywindle]

2. My condolences also.

What an awful day.


Your friends here will sit up with you and light a candle. :hug:

[Jamastiene]

3. There is nothing I can say, but

:hug:

[abq e streeter]

4. I hope that the love of friends ,family... and strangers here tonight,

myself humbly included, are of at least some small bit of comfort to you. I don't know what else to say beyond that though I don't know you, and likely never will, I care , very much, and pray that you still experience much joy and happiness in your life.

[bluesbassman]

5. My most heartfelt condolences Lil Missy.

I don't know if you've ever shared this before, but it's the first time I have become aware. Words can not express the sorrow I feel for your loss. Sending you vibes of peace and serenity during this time of remembrance.:hug:

[Lil Missy]

10. I did share this, only recently.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=8399470

[bluesbassman]

14. Thanks for sharing that, I missed it the first time.

So sorry you had to endure both the loss of your son, and the governmental BS. You're in my thoughts tonight.:hug:

[Lil Missy]

20. I won that battle. Moral of the story. Don't EVER fuck with a mother.

[CreekDog]

6. I'm so sorry

:cry:

[SeattleGirl]

7. Hugs and prayers for comfort to you at this time, Lil Missy

I cannot even fathom the level of pain you must feel, but please know that inadequate as it may be, I will hold you in my prayers.

:hug:

[Liberal_in_LA]

8. :-(

:cry:

[Lil Missy]

9. I lost connection with DU till just now. Must have been my ISP, since others could respond.

Thank you.

It always passes. I'm okay. :)

[Withywindle]

12. I don't know what your beliefs are. I don't want to presume.

I just want to tell you that in my beliefs, the energy that was his when he was in a human body is grateful to you for the gift of life and love when he was here, and for your courage and compassion when he had to go.

Again, :hug:

[mcctatas]

11. Every reply I considered posting here seems inadequate to

express how deeply sorry I am and I am not a religous woman so I can't even offer to keep you in my prayers, all I can do is tell you that it sucks and you are amazingly strong :hug:

[Lil Missy]

18. I'm not religious either. Nor am I strong. Nor will I ever be the same.

Just ask ... well ... someone else here.

Sometimes you have no choice.

[PaddyBlueEyes]

13. We love you LM

and are here for you... :hug:

[JohnnyLib2]

15. Sad----

:hug:

[Heidi]

16. x

:hug:

:*

[Lil Missy]

19. ......

:*


:cry:

[MrSlayer]

17. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Sincerely. There are no words, I wish you well.

[Bertha Venation]

21. Missy, I am so sorry

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

25. You are such a sweetheart. Just give Murphy an extra cuddle, okay?

My son would love that. :)

[Bertha Venation]

45. I'll do it.

:)

[cboy4]

22. Ughh, how sad.....there are no words.

:hug:

[Danger Mouse]

23. My dear...

:hug:
We love you.

[LeftyMom]

24. I'm so sorry.

[Lil Missy]

28. Thank you. I also like hearing about LeftyKid.

Do you mind my saying that it totally revolted me to hear about other kids for a few years?

I just couldn't stand it. I was so goddamned angry.

I'm over that now.

[LeftyMom]

30. That's understandable.

I had three late miscarriages before I had LK. Not the same thing at all, but enough that I can empathize a little, I think.

[Lil Missy]

32. Oh, now I am sorry.

Mine was an unexpected surprise. I was not trying.

Apples and Oranges.

Your LK is adorable. :)

[LeftyMom]

33. I wasn't trying anymore.

One relationship ended (ultimately I think the problem was a genetic one on his end, but the split was at least partially because he blamed me for the miscarriages.) Another had barely started. My life was in chaos, moreso than usual.

I actually had no clue I was pregnant quite a long way in because I wasn't horribly sick like I always had been before. In retrospect that was really lucky- I'd have been terrified of another loss, had I known.

[Lil Missy]

36. ......

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

37. ......

:hug:

[Callalily]

26. How very sad.

Hoping that memories of your son bring you peace.

[Lil Missy]

29. He was always a very happy camper, and felt life was wonderful.

I feel very good about that. :)

[Spacemom]

27. My heart is with you

I'm so sorry. :hug:

[RetroLounge]

31. ...

:hug:

RL

[Lil Missy]

34. Thanks, dood.

:hug:

[ScreamingMeemie]

35. Hey.

I'll be with you all day, at least in thought. :hug:

[Lil Missy]

39. Hey, you back.

I just so lurves your ass.

Just don't tell anyone, okay? I prefer a reputation as a curmudgeon.

:loveya:

[ScreamingMeemie]

43. Won't say word.

;)

Although curmudgeon isn't a word I'd used to describe you. :loveya:

[Midlodemocrat]

38. Sweetie. I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

42. Thank you.

I don't know why this is hitting me harder this year.

I must not go to bed or try to sleep, cause I'll ball my eyes out.

[easttexaslefty]

40. I am so very sorry

They are missed and mourned always but the birthdays, memorial days and holidays are the worst. May the day pass as peacefully as it can for you. do you have a special memory of him you would like to share?

[Lil Missy]

46. Special memories? Oh yes!

He had an OCD problem. He could not stand wearing shoes.

I got a major butt ache trying to take him out to restaurants. He'd take off his shoes and walk through freezing slosh in his socks or bare feet. Drove me nuts.

For school, he kept throwing his shoes out an open window on the bus. They usually recovered them. One day, he threw them out as they were crossing the river. Is that fucking poetic or what?

I said, why do you keep sitting him next to an open window, and with no supervision? Good god damn, when I insisted they would buy his new shoes from now on, they figured it out.

[easttexaslefty]

47. How funny

he sounds like a mess!:pals:

[Haole Girl]

41. Sometimes it never does go away

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

49. No, I don't think it ever goes away.

[av8rdave]

44. I am so sorry

I cannot even imagine the pain.

[Pierre.Suave]

48. ...

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

50. You are not my type!

:P

[scd1008]

51. So Sad.........

You expect to outlive your parents........
You never expect to bury your kids.

Sorry to hear this

[Lil Missy]

61. Welcome to DU!

I am honored that your first post was to me!

[Shakespeare]

52. I'm sorry, Lil Missy--I know that's something that never gets easier.

Hope you get through the next few days okay. :hug:

[rurallib]

53. well it's pretty much all been said

:cry: :hug: we're with you

[Lil Missy]

55. Hey! Hi!

[LeftyFingerPop]

54. I'm very sorry, Lil Missy

:hug: :hug:

[Lil Missy]

56. I just got a card remembering him and his birthday.

I am trying to hide the tears. I'd rather he be remembered on his birthday than mine.

[lightningandsnow]

57. I'm so sorry.

:hug:

[mnhtnbb]

58. I'm so sorry Lil Missy. Our daughter was stillborn 20 years ago

and the anniversary of the day she was born still tears me up every year. It must be so much more
difficult for you remembering your son. I hope you have some happy memories of his life to ease the pain of losing him too soon.

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

64. I am so sorry for you too.

I had memories of my son, and you had no memories, but perhaps hopes and dreams of yours.

It's apples and oranges. I don't think your hurt was any less than mine.

:hug:

[Shell Beau]

59. I am so sorry hon! Those birthdays are tough.

[auntAgonist]

60. I can't begin to imagine how hard it is for you .. just know

that you're held in lots of cyber hugs. I'm sorry you suffered this loss :cry:

kesha

[Lil Missy]

65. Oh God. They fucked with the wrong person.

I won. But it almost killed me.

[Lil Missy]

88. So, I need yet another reason to like you?

:)

[mentalsolstice]

62. Oooohhhh Lil Missy!

No words are appropriate, so I'll just give you a :hug:.

[Lil Missy]

66. Sometimes I don't know why. Then I recall the date and understand why I feel like shit.

[GreenPartyVoter]

63. I am so sorry *hugs* I can only imagine what you go through.

[Lil Missy]

67. Thanks. I should be over this by now. But, it happens every year.

[RedCloud]

68. Several of my friends lost their children.

It feels like this: A gunshot right to the heart.

Sorry it happened to you as well,

[Lil Missy]

69. Yup. It's a scar that never heals.

Why did you have so many friends that lost their children?

[RedCloud]

71. Most died from car crashes

One was a pedestrian.

Another one died because of a hereditary condition and no stem cell research avail-able.

Where I work there are about 1,000 people and most of us know each other, then the places where I grew up and went to school.

When those things happen, it hurts me a lot, but I know sometimes as in the case of the pedestrian accident, I had to help two families as they were going through a divorce and each side was blaming the other. I wanted to tell them to knock it off, but they needed to vent steam.

So I would say as time goes by things happen to our friends in ever widening circles.

[Lil Missy]

122. I see one possible incident, with the pedestrian.

But other than that, I don't see any car crashes.

Doesn't matter, (for the most part), why someone dies.

It's always a son, brother, husband, etc., of someone.

[DeepBlueC]

70. Oh sad, sad, sad...

What a heart-wrenching story. Nothing I can think of to say seems adequate ... I'm just so sorry.

:hug: :cry: :hug:

[Deja Q]

72. I'm so sorry.

:( :(


:hug:

[Lil Missy]

74. Nice to hear from you!

Thanks!

:hug:

[bigwillq]

73. Hugs for you.

:hug: I can only imagine how awful it must be.

We're here for you if you need a shoulder. :hug:

[Lil Missy]

75. Oh, it only happens once a year. I don't know why it is hurting me worse this year.

[Debi]

76. ..

:hugs:

Debi Jr. had a wonderful woman who worked w/him @ school. She insisted on working with kids only until the 4th grade b/c that was the age of her son when he was hit by a car and died. For some reason she agreed to keep working w/Debi Jr. until he left for high school (although she still took off the week of his death each year). We felt so lucky that she gave us this gift. I feel for her every fall b/c I know that she is thinking back to that time.

So sorry for your pain.

[Lil Missy]

78. I should get over this by now. But it hurts. Every. Fucking. Year.

I don't know why it is hitting me harder this year.

[Debi]

79. Would this have been a 'milestone' year?

New school? First at something? Or maybe you've recently encountered a child that would have been your son's age? I don't know, and I wish there was something I could do to help ease the pain. :hug:

[Lil Missy]

83. I've been warned and counseled about the "milestones"

I don't know why it is harder this year.

Maybe I just had a more shitty year this time.

Tell you what, I think I just figured something out. I just got another email from someone who has been pissing and moaning and creating all kind of drama about losing her cat. For 6 weeks now.

Now, I love my pup and my kitties, and I'd be really devastated to lose one of them. But, it pisses me off to compare that to losing a child.

Thanks. I think I understand why I am so pissed and heartbroken now.

:hi:

[Lil Missy]

124. I know why she held on. Same reason I did.

WE LOVED THE KIDS!

It's really that simple.

[Critters2]

77. I'm so sorry, Lil Missy.

I can't begin to imagine how you feel. Wish I could do something. :hug:

[Lil Missy]

80. You could come to Omaha for a cocktail or a cup of coffee.

:)

[Critters2]

89. I would love to. I have two other friends in Omaha I'd visit while I was there.

Some day. In fact, someday I hope to be back in Iowa...but why not Nebraska?!

[Lil Missy]

91. Well, Iowa is all blue now. But that one eastern electoral vote in NE went Obama.

:D

[Critters2]

92. I saw that about that one blue vote in NE. Iowa still has Steve King.

Nothing in Nebraska can be that bad. :grr:

[Lil Missy]

95. NE is all Repuke. How could Iowa be any worse?

[KitchenWitch]

81. ...

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

84. Thanks, Kitchy.

I'm just such a mess today.

[foxfeet]

82. Thinking of you as you hold him in your heart.

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

86. Oh, he never left my heart. He's always been there.

I don't think he'd be to happy about me having a melt down today.

I'd better straighten the fuck up.

[Gormy Cuss]

85. ...

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

87. You are such a Cuss!

:)

:hug:

[applegrove]

90. So sorry for your loss.

[Lil Missy]

93. Thank you. I should be fuckin' over this by now. But it never goes away.

[Whoa_Nelly]

94. Lil Missy

love for you :hug:

[Lil Missy]

96. You are trying to kill me with that adorable kitty pic, aren't you?

Give him or her to me. Now.

[emilyg]

97. My heart goes out to you.

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

98. Much appreciated. Thank you.

[lizziegrace]

99. I'm so sorry

if I lost Lelapin, I don't think I'd want to go on.

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

102. Oh man. If it were not for his court case, I don't think I could have held on long enough.

But, I was going to hang on long enough to see the bastards brought to justice.

I would not recommend it though. The "process" almost killed me.

I won a unanimous verdict, btw.

[OmahaBlueDog]

100. Lil Missy, someone who was like a 2nd father to me was murdered many years ago

When it would get me down, I'd remember the things he taught me and the stories he'd tell. I still think about him any time I have a problem repiring anything. One of greatest gifts I ever received was a box of tools he used to use.

I'm sorry that you hurt. I hope you too can take something good from the memories you have.

[Lil Missy]

104. Oh, I do recall everything my son taught me. More important than any damed book I'd ever read.

You are from Omaha, I'll bet you saw the news reports. The endless news and requests for interviews were more than I could bear at time.

I'd bet you would remember this case and the news.

[Oldtimeralso]

101. It Has Been Almost 40 Years Now

For my son and time does help but you never can forget, so please try to forgive yourself. It was hard to do for me but at least you got to see your son off to school. My son never made his first b'day and to this day I cry on that day.

[Lil Missy]

105. That is so heartbreaking. After 40 years? It never goes away to lose a child. Ever.

I am fortunate in the sense that he was always so happy, and always knew without any doubt that I loved him unconditionly.

I was not there when "the accident" happened, so I have no guilt to bear for that either. I sure wish I had been there, because I would have been paying attention. And I'd have known it was a situation he didn't like either.

[Dystopian]

103. Lil Missy...

I'm so very sorry....:hug:
My thoughts are with you.
Although in pain...Please know that you always bring joy and smiles to others :hug:
My heart goes out to you.


peace~

[Lil Missy]

106. I'll get over this if it kills me! I don't understand why it is so much harder this year????

[Lil Missy]

107. Oh, kick it.

[Mollis]

108. ...

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

109. ......

:hi:

[Mollis]

111. :)

:hi:
Maybe this year is harder...because last year was not so good?
That's how it feels sometimes for me, at least.

[Lil Missy]

113. You have a story, don't you.

S'okay.

It's pretty damned personal, isn't it?

[Mollis]

144. Ya, I guess

I have experienced someone I love being taken off life support, too.
No one should have to experience something like that.
:hug:

[Lil Missy]

147. My son was on life support too. After a couple "code blue's", "crashes", whatever,

I knew he couldn't make it. All his tests and functions were flying off the radar as well.

Much as I hated to do it, I felt there was no other choice but to hold him and help him let go.

Gawd, I really need to stop this. I don't understand why this is so much harder this year.

[Mollis]

148. I had no choice in the matter since I wasn't family or anything

But I knew it needed to be done, too.

Maybe it's because of how old he would have been? Or just because the economy and everything is really downhill right now?
This year, at least for me and a lot of people I know, everything seems to suck more.

[oshyposhy]

110. hugs and prayers

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

116. To you too!

:hug:

[Tom Kitten]

112. I'm very sorry, my friend

How awful and hurtful this was and is but I admire your strength in getting through this and being such a good person in spite of your tragedy... I've probably said too much but my thoughts are with you... :hug:

[Lil Missy]

115. Oh, I was really hoping you would check in. I like you.

:hug:


:hi:

[Tom Kitten]

118. I like you too.

I only wish and hope for you the best, really. Be strong!

[Quantess]

114. Wow, that's really sad.I have had recent losses, and it hurts a lot.

It doesn't matter what time of year, it just hurts when a loved one dies.

[Lil Missy]

117. Oh god. I'd live in a cardboard box to have my son back.

[Lil Missy]

119. I guess this is now his birthday. I don't know why it is hitting me so much harder this year.

I miss him. A LOT!

If you'd ever met him, he'd have you wrapped around his little finger in no time.

He could do that. :D

[Lil Missy]

120. He'd be so pissed off at me for having a meltdown this year.

[Lil Missy]

121. oops! dupe

[SalmonChantedEvening]

123. C'mere

:hug: :hug: :loveya: :hug: :hug:

[Lil Missy]

125. I've always got a snuggle for you!

:o

:loveya:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

143. And you will forever

Have my heart in your corner.

:hug:

LilM You. :loveya: :)

[Lil Missy]

146. Oh, you say that to all the pretty women.

:loveya:

[SalmonChantedEvening]

149. Ya got me there. ;)

:hug:

[FloridaJudy]

126. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ hug }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Nothing I can say can make it easier. Just know that you are in my thoughts.

[Lil Missy]

127. Thank you for that.

:hug:

[Blue Diadem]

128. I'm sorry Lil Missy

Many hugs to you.

:hug:

I saw your son's pics at your link for your prior post. His smile could light up the room, he was such a happy little guy. You're a very strong person to have gone through all that you have. I wish there was a way to ease the pain.

[Lil Missy]

129. I'm glad you saw the pics. Is he a happy little fart or what?

He truly did have a very happy life. Simple as that was, sometines.

[Blue Diadem]

131. His smile made me smile.

Just from seeing his picture you can tell he had a happy life. It breaks my heart that he's gone. :hug:

[guitar man]

130. aww...so sorry

I can't imagine what it would be like to lose my child...peace be with you :hug:

[Lil Missy]

132. This is not a sad day. It's his birthday!!

:bounce: :bounce: :bounce:

[Highway61]

133. I know how you feel

I also lost a child. Her birthday as well as the holidays just suck. There are times I miss her so much I can't see straight.
I am so sorry for your loss...my thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Lil Missy]

135. You have a cross to bear too, my dear. I am very sorry about you loss of your daughter

Tell me about your daughter. If you'd rather not elaborate here, then shoot my a private PM.

[WinkyDink]

134. {{{Lil Missy}}} I am sorry for your pain and loss.

[Lil Missy]

137. Today is his birthday!!

Time to celebrate!!:bounce: :bounce:

[Bake]

136. So sorry Missy!!

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Bake

[Lil Missy]

139. My son would be so pissed to see me in such a meltdown today.

I don't understand why it is so much harder this year.

[Dangerously Amused]

138. So sorry, Missy.

I've been including you in my meditations ever since I saw this thread.

Love to you...

:hug:

[Lil Missy]

141. Thanks. I need to cheer my ass up now.

[Lucian]

140. ...

:( :hug:

[Lil Missy]

145. Thanks. Who were you before? I am so confused now!

[Lil Missy]

142. I just got the nicest call. A friend just called, knowing what today means to me.

There were a couple people there, and they took turns talking to me.

Damn, that was so nice, and considerate.

[Lil Missy]

150. Thanks for all the caring comments. I was up a couple days and feel better today.

I should. I slept a day and a half!

Life goes on. Thanks again. :grouphug: