I wish I had my own forensics lab.

[flvegan]

I just found a Bud Light bottle cap on my porch. I'd like to know how it got there. I could guess that one of the dogs found it, yard trash from prior owners, but it's the new cap they're using with just the BL on it (yeah, hip 'n trendy Bud :eyes:).

I'd pull prints and run them through all the databases and find out who defiled my yard with their trash.

[Jamastiene]

1. OMG, you sound like me.

I was picking up trash in my yard while wearing nothing but shorts and a t-shirt. I got down close to the road and some hooligans rode down the road and threw a nickel and a quarter at me. That shit hurts when hurled from a vehicle moving at 45 mph. I shook my fist at them and rounded up the nickel and the quarter and kept them. Later, I thought about it. What did they get out of that? Nothing. What did I get out of it? A quarter and a nickel and the knowledge that if I ever see that car again to run to the edge of the road and quickly start picking up trash again. Maybe next time, they'll throw a Sacajawea dollar. If it doesn't kill me, I'll be a dollar richer. :think:

[flvegan]

2. More importantly...

NOTHING but shorts and a t-shirt??!! Lucky dogs. Bet the got the ole "down the neckhole boob peek". Dammit, I'm jealous.

[Jamastiene]

5. You should just move in across the street from me...

and set up a video camera. I want half the profits though. I strip and jiggle everything every time I mow. Damn fire ants never fail to find a tender spot somewhere I can't reach without stripping. My neighbors love me. :P

[flvegan]

7. I just fell out of my chair.

[Jamastiene]

9. We'll have to budget in a seat belt for your director's chair.

:P

:rofl:

[flvegan]

14. I'd rather just a webcam across the street from you.

Direct feed in hi-def, all that. Man, that would be sweet.

[GOPisEvil]

3. I was expecting a Pauley Perrette homage.

Yeah, I'm watching NCIS now. Why?

[flvegan]

4. Nail, meet hammer.

I was thinking of Miss Abby when I came up with the thread. I love NCIS, and Abby is a fantasy.

[GOPisEvil]

6. I'm watching a certain Miss Cote de Pablo now.

Mmmmmm...Ziva.

[flvegan]

8. She was exceptional a couple seasons ago

when the NCIS folks did some gym training and McGhee and Ziva went with grappling. She wore lycra. I love lycra.

[GOPisEvil]

10. There was also the one where she went swimming at the Israeli embassy.

Suhweet! :)

[flvegan]

12. Yeah, but she was wearing a black one piece.

I'd have killed for a pink two piece...thong. Sigh.

[City of Mills]

11. BUD FUCKING LIGHT!!!!

What the HELL is it with that beer?!?!? Every time I go do a forest cleanup 90% of the FUCKING litter is cans bottles and FUCKING CAPS from MOTHERFUCKING BUD LIGHT drinkers!!! There's cheaper beer, there's better beer, but fucking total FUCKING LOSERS who fucking drink BUD PISS IN A FUCKING BOTTLE LIGHT seem to be the only people who can't fucking utilize a GODDAMN TRASH CAN, I can't express how FUCKING NUTS it makes me!!!!

FUCKIN A!

[flvegan]

13. That was beautiful.

[LeftyMom]

15. My sister drinks that swill. But in cans.

Cheap, mass produced beer. In cans.

My own blood. BEER IN CANS! The very thought gives me the fucking vapors.

I think she must be adopted. There really is no other explanation.

So it wasn't her.

[flvegan]

16. In cans? Damn, I was kind of hoping she had come by for a visit.

[LeftyMom]

17. She does think that you're "pretty cute, for an old guy"

:rofl:

[GOPisEvil]

18. Oh, snap.

I mean. I got your back, fellow old man. Ahem.

[flvegan]

19. She's conflicted and trying to throw you off the scent.

[LeftyMom]

20. Because every pretty college girl wants a guy

who is (dare I say it) getting a bit close to the big 4-0.

And you can't even impress the poor dear with your car, because you have a Mazda and she drives a Mercedes. :rofl:

[flvegan]

21. Well, it worked on you and the DNA is exact.

[LeftyMom]

22. Well, I'm older than her and my car is not so great.

Maybe I just have low standards. ;)