How should we kill our boss

[Djinn]

Poll question: How should we kill our boss

My boss has managed to alienate every single person in our department, she is hopeless both personally and professionally, so to vent a bit of anger we've come up with some methods of ridding ourselves of her

[arewethereyet]

1. death of a thousand paper cuts

or
fold,spindle and mutilate her
or
subscribe to risque magazines, delivered to work
or
hypnotize her and have her develope Tourett's Syndrome at the mention of her boss' name or upon seeing him/her

or the Indiana Jones approach, just shoot her

[Deja Q]

2. Unless you're talking about your Eureka(tm) brand vacuum cleaner...

http://www.bizrate.com/buy/products__cat_id--13110106,keyword--Eureka%20Boss%20Vacuum.html

I much prefer Hoover... or anything that doesn't suck, meaning it sucks well... oh, this is bad, even by my standards...

[Career Prole]

3. "Other"...

...skip rerouting the AC and waste lines. Slip her a mickey then swap the input and output on her stomach. She'll have to stick biscuits up her butt when she gets hungry, and when she has to go...well, Tic Tacs are probably easier on the butt than biscuits.
Evil? Nahhhh...I've got CNN on and I'm listening to that Yoda-lookin' Bill Schneider or whatever his name is talking about Nader...it's got my Irish up. Oh dammitall...now it's shrub. Arrrrgggghhhh! Only give your boss five-alarm chili to eat! :mad:

[Djinn]

4. all good ideas

although given she's m,anaged to make (yet) another staff member cry since I posted this - it's all too good for her I think, I really just want to beat her stupid fat arse senseless (wouldn't take long) with my bare hands arrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh

If it wasn't fior DU I think I'd have already done it!

[Eureka]

5. I need more info

Only people who don't plan properly get caught :-) I can put my full plotting mechanism into play if you let us know more info.

How does she make people cry?
What are her strengths/weaknesses?
What does SHE think are her strengths/weaknesses?
Does she hold any 'radical' opinions that may be exploited. (to be an asshole like a right-winger, you really need to think like one, as disgusting as that may be)

Ripping her off by cyber-bludging is a good start :-)

[Moderator]

6. Locking

Please do not post threads advocating death or harm to anyone. Thank you.