can i bring any of you to christ?

[datasuspect]

if you take one step toward him, he will take two toward you.

[PeaceNikki]

1. No thanks. Stigmata freaks me out.

:scared:

[arbusto_baboso]

2. He's got my number, he knows where to find me.

Why should I always have to be the one to call?

[BurtWorm]

3. Then why would we need *you* to take us to him?

(Did you lose a bet or something?)

[guitar man]

4. no, but

you can bring me a corned beef and swiss on rye, extra mayo, a bag of lays and a big gulp Dr Pepper :D

[Arugula Latte]

5. He could bring me some lemonade, if he'd like. Or, what the hell, a white wine spritzer.

kchristthxbai

[Deja Q]

27. Dang, beat me to it!

:spray:

[Starbucks Anarchist]

6. No, I owe him money.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. Tell him it's his turn to bring the beer.

[frogmarch]

8. And if I stop after taking that one step,

will he stop after two...and do what? Just stand there? I don't get it.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

9. That's basically it.

So then you'll be just standing there staring at each other, and eventually you'll say, "Jesus! You gonna DO something or are you just gonna stand there?" And he says, "You first." And you say, "No, you first." And that will go on for awhile until one of you just wanders off because you're hungry or there's something more interesting on the teevee.

[frogmarch]

10. LOL

Yuppers, I thought so.

[realisticphish]

11. what if you're already 2 steps apart?

would he, like, smash into you when you took that last step?

[My Good Babushka]

12. sometimes when we try that

I end up behind him. Then we have to turn around and try it again. It gets very confusing.

[rucky]

13. My cousin tried to set me up once

it didn't work out very well.

[Forkboy]

14. Depends...what's he making for dinner?

[datasuspect]

26. his blood and his flesh

eat of it. do this in remembrance of him

[Forkboy]

30. Blood and flesh?

I'm stayin'!

[Xipe Totec]

38. This explains why the Aztecs converted so easily n/t

[kimmerspixelated]

15. Why? Does he need our help?

I laughed out loud at this post. THANK YOU! And yet, I feel bad, because you are probably asking a seeeri-us question. And in all seriousness, I believe we've met.

[datasuspect]

20. you will know me by my fruits

[MilesColtrane]

58. If He'd been from Jersey: "You will know me by my nuts. RIGHT OVA HEEYA!"

[marzipanni]

16. Jesus needs ballroom dancing lessons?

:shrug:

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

17. Too late.

He's already here with me- has been for years.

You want me to pass your name on to him?

[OmahaBlueDog]

18. How do you know we aren't with Him already?

[quakerboy]

19. Lets do this deal

Gonna have to teach me about these "step"s you mentioned though.

[Inchworm]

21. Sure - I gots the munchies

:9

[rcrush]

22. Are you the devil?

Are you trying to trick me?

[datasuspect]

29. tricks are for kids

[Sebastian Doyle]

23. Only if He can turn some water into IPA

I'm out of beer :(

[RagAss]

24. He said the kingdom was alive in us...so why do we still need him?

He was the finger that pointed to the truth...You don't worship the finger !

[datasuspect]

25. butt what doth the finger toucheth?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

28. Actually, we have already been introduced.

He's cool, but I have a lot of problems with his entourage. They're always bugging me to get with the program, like Amway salesmen. I figure if he wants to hang out with me he knows where I am; I don't need his peeps pestering me.

[GoneOffShore]

31. If he wants to meet my friend

[Arugula Latte]

60. If I hadda hammah, I'd hammah in da mornin ...

[mtowngman]

32. come to Jesus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxwd3Ru85aE

[Iggo]

33. Yikes! Spooky white-folks music!

Me likey.

[mtowngman]

37. Don't be a-scared

I didn't realize the youtube I picked out was the gospel music channel version

Now that's funny :rofl:

I just like the song-I ain't no re-born

[GoddessOfGuinness]

40. Good tune.

Her "Jolene" can't compare to Dolly's though... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGEubdH8m0s&feature=related

[mtowngman]

42. Dolly is no joke as a musician and singer IMHO

I saw the punk rocker Patti Smith do Jolene once. I wonder If I can dig that up.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

44. Here's my favorite Dolly Parton YouTube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czirN42RKFY

[mtowngman]

45. She makes every song she does hers.

That was a nice one.

When the best bluegrass players in the world line up to play on her records, that says something.

[elshiva]

34. Are you serious?

I have seen some of your other posts. Are you joking or are you really on a mission?
:shrug:

[Xipe Totec]

35. You can take me to Christie's n/t

[sohndrsmith]

52. Not Sotheby's? : ) n/t

[Sebastian Doyle]

36. And if you act now and join Team Christ today, you get your own personal Angel Secret Service detail

Here's Amy Grant with the details....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qtv5FlTMA0I

[MajorChode]

39. So if I come up with a 3rd, he'll front me the rest for a Mercedes Benz?

[GoddessOfGuinness]

41. Sounds too much like a telemarketer.

No thanks.

I don't have a problem with Jesus...It's the people that want to take me to him that really get my dander up.

[mtowngman]

43. will there be chocolates?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wfamPW3Eaw

[JohnnyLib2]

46. Where am I ?

Is the Derby over yet?

[rurallib]

47. I'll wait until I am in federal prison on treason charges

That seems to be an opportune time to meet Mr. Christ the first time. Like Chucky Colson.

[Iggo]

55. I guess Jesus didn't see him coming.

:rofl:

[BarenakedLady]

48. We aren't on speaking terms, atm.

[caty]

49. I've gone this long without

an imaginary friend. I can go the rest of the way.

[Orrex]

50. If we start from two steps away from each other, that will put him behind me.

[MilesColtrane]

57. That tends to trigger the Holy "Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch" routine.

[Orrex]

65. I dunno

This is starting to sound more and more like the mirror-gag from Duck Soup.

[deepthought42]

51. Fuck no! I prefer pasta

to stale crackers. :P ;)

:hide:

[zabet]

53. Bring me to Christ?

Nah....I prefer making people scream 'oh God' and he may not like that. :hide:

[Lucian]

54. Fuck no.

I'd rather party in hell with all the cool people.

[oedura]

56. No, thanks...

I can't stand those asshole friends of his.

[Enrique]

59. i'm good n/t

[Bucky]

61. If Christ is so quick to compromise his positions just to win me over...

I don't see how I can reasonably respect him as a prophet or savior. I want a God who'll stand his ground, by criminey

[FloridaJudy]

62. No. But if you could drop me off

At the nearest Walgreens I'd appreciate it. I need to pick up a prescription.

As to Jesus - nice guy. Unfortunately, his posse gives me the creeps.

[mike_c]

63. this thread is wortheless without pictures

Jesus two-stepping!

[BuelahWitch]

64. No, but if you can drop me off a bag of cat food, it would be appreciated!

:hi:

[madinmaryland]

66. Jeebus! Stop wanking about this.

:hide:

[ornotna]

67. Been there, done that

Got the T-shirt tag.

[dysfunctional press]

68. if he takes one more step toward me, i'm calling 911...

and telling them to send an ambulance for the shooting victim laying on the sidewalk.

[City of Mills]

69. Are you the gatekeeper, or the keymaster?

. o O o O o . . o O o O o . . o O o O o . . o O o O o . . o O o O o .

[Orsino]

70. I left the damned money *right* where you told me.

I want my Christ back now!