Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway

[Blue_Tires]

WASHINGTON—Taking advantage of the warm spring weather Monday, Vice President Joe Biden parked his 1981 Trans Am in the White House driveway, removed his undershirt, and spent a leisurely afternoon washing the muscle car and drinking beer.

"This baby just needs a little scrub down," said Biden, addressing a tour group as he tucked the sweat-covered top into the belt loop of his cutoff jean shorts. "Gotta get her looking good so I can impress the chicks when I'm cruising down Pennsylvania ."

White House aides said that Biden pulled into the driveway shortly before noon, the chorus of Night Ranger's "(You Can Still) Rock In America" blaring from his car's stereo. According to witnesses, Biden spent several minutes maneuvering the Trans Am into the perfect spot, and was observed drumming his fingers on the steering wheel until the song came to a close. The shirtless 66-year-old then entered the executive residence and greeted employees with a round of high fives and a variety of nicknames...

..."Back in the day we used to call 'em panty-melters," Biden continued. "One babe caught a glimpse of those rims after a Cinderella concert in '86 and she couldn't get into that backseat fast enough. If any of you girls wanna take a ride, just let ol' Joe know."

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/shirtless_biden_washes_trans_am_in?utm_source=a-section

anyone making the FIRST joke about Biden's impeccable automotive taste is DTM :nuke:

[graywarrior]

1. OMG, he is so cooly demented

[crim son]

2. Are my eyes tired or

is he flipping me off in that pic? :rofl:

[gbate]

3. Damn. Page blocked here at work.

I may have to do a google search to find it elsewhere. Love me some Joe.

[Lex]

4. lol -- perfect

:rofl:

[Inchworm]

5. No wai! Is that true?

I love him if so!

A garden.. now this?!

We have humans in teh Whitehouse!

:woohoo:

[PeaceNikki]

6. Uhh... it's "The Onion"

:D

[DS1]

7. Amaze, never ceases to

[PeaceNikki]

9. Custom Designed Menstrual Shacks Exquisitely Crafted by Fundamentalist Baptist Architect,

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/2009/march/menstrualshacks.html

A Biblical Curse, A Husband's Comfort:

The Menstrual Shack at Hardwick Farm was designed and built by Fundamentalist Baptist architect, William Hargraves. It was featured in this month's issue of Fundamentalist American Magazine. It’s a perfect example of form follows function. It can accommodate a single Fundamentalist female weighing up to 600 pounds, which is precisely why Landover Baptist's Pastor Deacon Fred was so attracted to the design.

Personal Testimony:

"When I hear the first sign of nagging, I pop in my ear-plugs, load my wife, Macel into the back of our Hummer and make the two-minute trek over rough terrain due-south of our Christian summer home. I can view Macel at my Godly leisure though a telescope installed on the deck outside of my Estate library to make sure the shack has not shook loose of its foundation. I can also simply turn my head and vomit right off the deck into the garden instead over the bedpost onto the floor, if I happen to catch a glimpse of her unclothed. Thank-YOU! Mr. Hargraves! You have made a Christian gentleman very happy for almost 40 days out of each year! Glory! - Pastor, Deacon Fred.

A Comfort For the Afflicted and Unclean Female:

Located over 700 cubits from Pastor's residence at Hardwick Farm, heat and hot water is supplied via a Franklin wood burning stove and meticulously re-created New Testament olive oil lamps provide lighting enough for Bible reading and devotions. Handcrafted turtle boxes and pigeon cages are fully stocked and located within a 2-minute hobble of the menstrual shack. The carefully placed wildlife items provide the habitant with precious company during her seven or so day separation. They also serve as a sacred reminder of her atonement as she struggles with her period of sin. Sanitized "String-to-Can" communication is part of the whole package for use in any "real" emergency. Accessed without a road and perched above a beautiful view of Malachi Valley, this quaint little custom made menstrual shack is simply beautiful.

A Cleansed Wife, Returned to Service:

The location and design of this exquisite Menstrual Shack provide Mrs. Deacon Fred (Macel Sue Anne Jenkins) with the tranquility, peace, and solitude needed to endure her monthly curse. When her cleanliness is restored, she returns to her husband and her family invigorated, refreshed and eager to clean her husband's 17-room Christian Estate. She is revitalized with the spirit of her natural duty and filled again with the precious womanly gift of servitude as she finds strength enough to carefully prepare her "Welcome Back Home Mommy!" dinner for the 12 family and 22 extended family members currently residing at Hardwick Farm.

[tigereye]

22. AH

:rofl:

that's just hilarious!

[PeaceNikki]

25. I know, right?

:D

[Inchworm]

14. The Onion creeps me out

I don't generally read news online. Hmmm, since I moved to the country I get news from cspan, Letterman and Ferguson :D

:hi:

[snooper2]

15. rofl

:rofl:

[mentalsolstice]

8. Gotta love our Joey B. nt

[RubyDuby in GA]

10. Bitchin'!!

[LynneSin]

11. I thought Joe had a Red Corvette. That's what he cruised around Wilmington with

:shrug:

[Blue_Tires]

12. it's all part of the GM family...

Joe is a GM guy...Now I remember why I voted for himB-)

[Deep13]

13. Nice ink, Veep. nt

[Amerigo Vespucci]

16. Nice tats Mr. VP

:rofl:

[Dappleganger]

17. Reminds of this sweet little gif

[Sequoia]

18. That's very funny.

[texas1928]

19. DUUUUUUUUUUDE Awesome wheels....

Let's go cruise for hotties.

[madinmaryland]

20. Hey! Isn't that BeachBaby's Trans Am?

And why isn't LynneSin helping him with it???

:wtf:

[flvegan]

21. 1981 Trans Am...absolutely hopeless.

I recall 3 engine options, each one as dreadful as the last. The 301, the 305 and the turbo (forget if it was on the 301 or the 305). 1981 was of course the first year for GM to try out their magnificent (and by magnificent I mean terrible) "electronic" carburetor.

When your horsepower rating is 1/2 of your total cubic inch displacement, you're doing it wrong.

Biden can do better.

Yes, I realize it's the Onion, but I only get so many opportunities for a good car rant.

[Blue_Tires]

23. bah...we both know the hood graphic alone is worth 300 HP!

[MrCoffee]

24. Panty-melters

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[edhopper]

26. I think we should call him Lucille

[BattyDem]

27. Is anyone else disappointed that it wasn't a real "Shirtless Biden" pic?

:blush: :loveya: :rofl: