I hate funerals.

[Deja Q]

I overall like them as you get to know about a person you may not have originally known, or to an extent... but ascending into Heaven, why is it such a sad event? (the pastor's sermons adumbrate the differences between Earthly life and the afterlife.)

I think it's meant to be a catharsis, funerals...

[Pool Hall Ace]

1. I hate them too.

That's why I'm not having one. I'm planning a cook-out of some sort. The guidelines I've hammered out so far:

- casual dress; no suits, ties, pantyhose unless you really want to.
- no religion, unless you want to offer a prayer or read one of my favorite psalms or poems
- fireworks display at the end

I agree that funerals are cathartic. :hi:

[Deja Q]

16. Actually, that's a novel way to go - and people should celebrate life.

People get together to mourn the loss of the life, but we all contribute to society - sometimes in unusual ways ("unusual" for lack of more apropos word).

When my time comes, I would rather see people party and have a good time. Mourning has its place, but life is also a celebration in of itself. I do see how traditional funerals are meant to be, but they can be needlessly depressing. The one I went to, not enough was said about what he had done in life. Essentially an index was mentioned, but there was so much substance to his life...

:pals:

[Sequoia]

17. I went to a funeral and the guys from the funeral home

were all handsome Marlboro type men wearing long coats. Eye candy and tears at the same time. And good food afterwards with all the single women eating near the Marlboro table.

[Blue Diadem]

2. I hate them too Deja

:hug:

That final goodbye is never easy.

[Deja Q]

3. Over 300 people attended...

Thx for the hug. :)

He was a real steward of the Earth. A family man... even worked holidays. 3 children, 2 of which are now adults. They're good people. They really are.

He loved American Indian culture. I was going to get him an album by Bill Miller for Christmas this year ("Raven in the Snow" - really terrific stuff.)

I could barely get sleep last night. I know how hard it's hit the rest of the family, but for reasons I don't want to say right now, it's hit me hard too. His brother, the oldest, for him it's not set in for him yet, but he had said that once it does, it's not going to be pleasant.

Especially the ultimate demise. At least it was quick and painless and he didn't realize what was happening. I got the full information last night. There was no way at all he could have gotten around it. :cry: A conflux of events at just the wrong moment. I will say, the morticians did a heck of a job reconstructing him. Man...

:hug:

Today is my visit with the counselor as well. I might need it. It's just been a shock. His wife, now a widow - she's the sweetest person you'd ever get to know too.

[undeterred]

4. Go visit his widow in 3 or 4 months

so you can give her a chance to talk about him and look at pictures together. It will be good for both of you. When someone dies the survivors get a lot of support in the first few weeks, but they need it for 6-12 months.

[Gormy Cuss]

5. Very good advice, undeterred.

:thumbsup:


DejaQ, it will be good for both of you to spend some time remembering him together.

[undeterred]

8. A few years ago a woman I knew lost her husband

to cancer. For reasons I don't remember, I missed the wake and funeral. But when I contacted her a few months later I realized she could hardly even remember who was there and who wasn't. She was immersed in grief. We had dinner and spent the evening together. She brought out picture albums and talked and talked about him. And she thanked me for giving her a chance to do that. I had no idea it would mean so much to her. Grief is a social process, and it takes most of a year to get over a huge loss. Talking to people along the way helps the process along.

[Blue Diadem]

11. .

:hug:

Like others here have suggested, it may help to visit in the future with your Aunt. It will let her know that he's not forgotten and lives on in other family members hearts and memories. Your Uncle sounded like a really good guy who was loved by a lot of people.

[raccoon]

6. Then tell your family/friends not to have one for you. nt

[Roon]

7. I have been to several funerals

Had friends that ODed, suicide,heart attack,SIDS,etc. But I have never lost anyone in my family. Heck, I am 41 and my Grandparents are still alive. My Uncle and I always joke, once someone does eventually die, the rest of us are going to drop like flies.

[Deep13]

10. Wow, I'm 41 too and two of my grandparents are alive and my great grandmother.

She's 98 or something.

[Roon]

12. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!

:wow:..that's amazing..god bless your GGMA!

[Deep13]

14. It helps that ...

...my grandmother is the eldest kid of GGmother and that my mother is the eldest and that I'm the eldest of the grandchildren. Plus they were all pretty young when they had children.

[Roon]

18. Still...

that's amazing!

[Deep13]

9. I hate them too.

We had an outdoor memorial event for my father (he was cremated) at his tree farm ten years ago. It sucked big time. There's no way around the loss and we just have to deal with the grief. At least it wasn't one of those stuffy, commercial funeral home things.

[elocs]

13. Pentecostal funerals for one of their believers is a joyous event

because the deceased saint has gone home to gloryland.

[alarimer]

15. I guess it really depends on who the funeral is for.

It's really sad if it's for someone who has died too soon.

But my grandmother was 89, so it was more of a family reunion than anything. It was bittersweet in that she was out of it for the last year and a half but a real pistol until her stroke. So it was more a celebration of her long life. After the service but before the burial, we went down in the basement and told funny stories (some of them dirty, in front of priests at that LOL) about her.