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What a weird freaking night.
Went to my fvorite watering hole. Sat at my usual spot at the bar. Friends next to me on both sides. A few margaritas, some chips, good times.
My friends to my left leave.
Some guy, about 5 foot nothing, comes in the bar. I try to vibe him away from me, he is wearing a toupee, a sport coat (it's 90), has chains and jewelry on (READ:REPUBLICAN), and I can tell he is someone I don't want to have to talk too.
He sits right next to me. Orders a Tall Dos XX and then he pulls out his cell phone. Then proceeds to have the single most inane phone conversation in the history of phone conversations. He talks about his fake hair, how he had the grey died out of his real (and assuming) sparse factory intalled hair. He talks about how he goes to anger management and how he is always getting into fights. he talks about being dumped by some chick, someone else owes him 22 thousand dollars et. STUPID STUFF. I cannot get awy from the guys conversation, it is like plugged right into my brain, he is so close it dominates my world.
And yes you coudl say "Why don't I just move"/ Well FUCK THAT. My bar, my stool, my corner etc. I am not the rude one here (at least not yet).
While he is going on my dinner comes. I still have my friend on the right buy the dude on the phone is dominating the area. Blah blah blah. On and on. I sit there, eat my multi item combo meal and the entire time the guy is on teh phone. "I have a date from match.com" and "I can't keep a woman" etc. Ad naseum.
I tired to make a motion to him to put the phone away, but the guy is ignoring me. I make the throat slitting motion. I give him THE LOOK. NOTHING. Finally, I am like 'Dude take it you office", again he ignores me. 40 minutes. He finishes his beer and, without hanging up, orders another one.
By now, I am just slightly pissed off. This guy has ruined my evening (or so I thought)and certainly my mood. Not to mention the entire time I was dining,I was seething and all I could think about was shoving that cell phone up his ass.
I can't stand it anymore. So I let the guy have it. I tell him how rude he is being etc. "Got that toupee where? "How is Shannon" (the girl that dumped him), "how are those lifts working out for you" "Can't wait to gon Match.com and see how your date worked out". The guy, to his credit, just keeps talking. like nothing else is happening.
I pay up, so I can get the hell away from this guy (I would have stayed but for the guy) and went to my friends house.(where the story will continue)
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