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No, I take that back.... GREAT news. Maggie is at what is most likely her last visit as we speak. This ocming Friday, we go to court and, unless the judge is completely insane or paid off, the visits will end until very strictly supervised visits can be arranged. We had hoped to be able to avoid this visit, but it just didn't work out that way.
As anyone who read my earlier posts knows, I got very concerned about some behavior changes in Maggie and took her to the pediatrician. She was having what I could only describe as night terrors during the day... these "fits" that would typically go on for 20 to 30 minutes with the worst one lasting an hour. During these "fits", her eyes would be completely unfocused and you could NOT communicate with her at all. It was as though she just couldn't hear me... it was horrible, to say the very least. Now, she has her garden variety tantrums, but those are totally different and I have them well under control. When I see her gearing up to throw one of her normal tantrums, I simply tell her to go sit in her Dora chair and, surprisingly, this has worked quite well. She almost seems to be relieved to go and do it and, after she sits for a few minutes, I tell her that she can get up if she's ready to be nice. Works like a charm.... not so with the "fits".
So, I took her to her pediatrician and this is where it got interesting. Her father INSISTED on being there, said it was his right to be at her doctor's appointment and, legally, I couldn't argue. Turns out it was the best thing that could have happened. We were there for 2 hours and, obviously, since he was there, she was very distressed throughout the entire visit. Cried every time he came near her, clung to me excessively, etc. Now, I was caught up in trying to keep her calm and trying to relay my concerns to her doctor and so I didn't realize the the pediatrician was onto what was going on and was paying very close attention to their interaction. She did ask me a few times to take Maggie out into the hallway and see if I could calm her down and, of course, when I took her away from her father and she couldn't see him anymore, she calmed right down.
Her doctor called me a couple of hours after the visit and asked me if I would bring her back this week, without him and, if I felt okay with it, with the guardian ad litem in attendance. We went on Wednesday and the pediatrician told both of us that she is extremely concerned with Maggie's drastic reaction to him, especially since the visitations have been going on for over 10 weeks. But, she was even more concerned with HIS reactions to Maggie. As she put it, he never once, during the entire 2 hours, showed any empathy towards her or tried to soothe her.... which is basically what I've been saying all along. He was only interested in taking over the conversation and trying to convince the pediatrician that she's autistic, which is utterly ridiculous to anyone who's ever dealt with this child for more than 5 minutes. The pediatrician thinks that the "fits" are actually panic attacks related to her anxiety over the visits, which makes absolute sense to me when thinking about how she acts during them.
Anyhow, long story short.... she recommended to the guardian ad litem that the visits be stopped and that any contact he has with her be strictly supervised by either social services or an officer of the court. She feels, as I do, that any parent that cannot feel empathy for his child when she's in such obvious distress is extremely likely to abuse the child. That coupled with her severe reaction to being around him is a serious red flag and, thankfully, this is finally being taken seriously.
I wanted to post about this before, but I cannot be absolutely sure that he doesn't come to DU anymore, though I seriously doubt he does, and I couldn't take a chance on tipping him off. I know that he doesn't have internet access at the moment, so I feel safe in providing this update now. When I pick her up at 2:30, the visitations from hell will be over... at least until we can make sure that any visitation he has with her keeps her safe and secure.
Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me on Friday, please?? I'll post an update that I hope will include one of these :bounce: in it :)
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