Lawns are like breasts - God only made so many perfect ones out there...

[LynneSin]

and the rest of us either need to accept what we have or have a little 'surgery' to fix them up.

Seriously, I'm about ready to plant sod back there - I hate lawn care.

[styersc]

1. Just a warning.

If you plant sod, you will itch and have a hard time putting your shirt on.

[LynneSin]

2. On my lawn silly

I accept that my breasts are what they are

[jeff30997]

3. Yeah well....

It's easy to say when they are fabulous. :P

[styersc]

4. Boy, did I misunderstand the question.

My back yard backs up on to a swamp so I cut the half closest to the house and the back half remains natural. I have deer, hawks, owls, a wood duck living in an oak and just realized that turtles are using my yard as a nesting area- and I live in the city!

In all honety, the "yard" is more weeds then grass but the animal friends it attracts makes it worth the absence of effort.

[LynneSin]

9. My yard is so fenced in the only animals I get are bird and stalker cats

nothing else could get in there.

[Haole Girl]

12. LOL!

I misunderstood the question too.

:rofl:

So much for multi-tasking.

[flvegan]

5. Yeah but I can pass a REALLY nice looking lawn and not stare.

[LynneSin]

16. Oddly enough I keep staring at my neighbor's lawn - all nice and green

I don't find myself staring at breasts although this one girl we saw out at the bar had the hugest set of breasts I have ever seen on anyone. That was like the solar eclipse - you know you shouldn't stare directly at them but you can't resist. Poor girl must have the worst back problems and they had to be natural

[Haole Girl]

6. .

oops.

[KamaAina]

7. And they both have those pesky "Keep Off The Grass" signs

:(

[XemaSab]

8. Fuck lawns

Rip that shit out and plant flowers.

[sarge43]

21. Sing it. Grass is a waste of good dirt.

A bit of lawn for accent or play area for kids, otherwise flowers, flowering bushes, veggie patch, herb garden, trees, wild flowers.

Lawns are basically sterile environments. There's a reason why they're difficult to maintain in good health. They support little and almost nothing supports them.

[ismnotwasm]

48. I hate lawns

Mine? Little by little, it's going down. I'd rather have a yard full of mint. Or Lemon balm, which is a plant wants to control my entire yard, my neighbor's yard and will probably find a way to my first born child's yard. Still, it's better than grass. (I will have a lot of mint, in select areas. I want to see if I can get chocolate mint to thrive)

I have one of those little hills in front of my house that's crying for a rock garden. Lawns suck

[sarge43]

50. Creeping thyme is another great ground cover.

Bees and butterflies love the flowers.

[DBoon]

32. I planted wine grapes in my yard

The SoCal climate is perfect for them, they require very little maintenance compared to a lawn, they conserve water, AND the harvest is drinkable

[LynneSin]

57. Ironically my house came with a wine press in the basement

Of course this thing is 70+ years old and not in good shape.

The house was built in a predominantly Italian neighborhood and all the houses on our side of the street have presses in the basement. And you can't take this thing out - it's part of the basement foundation.

[DBoon]

60. a little Prohibition-era home brewing?

70 years ago would be just about right for that

[Sky Masterson]

10. I like big lawns.

I don't even care if they are real or AstroTurf :P

[LynneSin]

13. So does this picture turn you on - its all natural.....

[Sky Masterson]

15. Well.

Just look at all of those people who are there to look at it. :D
It makes me want to score.:hide:

[In_The_Wind]

11. Well ~ my lawn isn't perfect.

No sod plantings going on there.

How are the Morning Glory vines?


:hi:

[LynneSin]

14. I hate those morning glories....... but they are starting to sprout

I pulled alot of them out so they don't cover my entire back yard

[In_The_Wind]

17. Have you seen any hummingbirds around them?

I'll bet Evita loves to watch the birds from the back upstairs window.

[LynneSin]

18. Evita isn't allowed in that room - I have a roommate now

and she is ok with cats but doesn't want cat hair in her room

[In_The_Wind]

19. See what happens when I'm away from DU for awhile ...

cats are baned from their favorite haunts


Well, anyway, your friend has a lovely room.

[madinmaryland]

20. A little slow in Delaware now that Joe Biden is gone?

[old mark]

22. LS: I hate grass - we tilled our entire yard, put in shrubs, flowers,

and fruit and mulched the whole thing.
Life is too short to mow the fucking lawn.

As far as the breasts, perfect really all depends on your personal definition, doesn't it? My range of acceptability is pretty wide in that area.

mark

[kwassa]

23. Lawns don't wear brassieres.

They go au naturale, displaying their glory to the public.

At least we know whether lawns are perfect or not.

[Digit]

35. If the glory means erect nipples the neighbors might have issues with them

If they are not erect, then they are merely brown patches and you may have to work with them somewhat.
If vigorous reaction to brown patches occurs, problems could ensue with the neighbors....(see above)

But your lawn might be happy. ;)

[Xipe Totec]

24. There are no perfect lawns

on the other hands...

:P

[Left Is Write]

25. If I were going to compare lawns to a portion of the female anatomy -

it would probably not be breasts.

[flvegan]

30. What part would it be, dear?

:evilgrin:

[blue neen]

26. Even if they start out perfect, it sometimes takes a little maintenance to keep them that way.

;)

[jobycom]

27. ... and the rest he covered with hair.

Hm. Works better about heads than breasts, doesn't it?

[Richard Steele]

28. Bullshit. Every breast is perfect & special in its own way.

Big ones,
small ones,
young pert ones that jump out of tank tops to point at the moon,
& old wrinkly ones that look like a grapefruit in a pink leather tube sock...

They're all fucking MAGICAL, and I love them all, every one.....
Just because I'm a man, and they are BREASTS.

[rcrush]

29. You just brought a tear to me eye

:cry:

[flvegan]

31. The man is a poet, people!

[Richard Steele]

34. "Poet" might be a bit much....

But there are a few subjects that I have STRONG opinions about,
as you have probably noticed from time to time. :eyes:

[sarge43]

51. You deserve a

:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[triguy46]

33. My inlaws lawn owns them. They are 82 and 80 and their lawn controls their life.

Is it green enough? Does it need another mowing? feeding? dethatching? It is so sad to see them obsess over something so silly.

[MajorChode]

40. People obsess over much sillier things

...and gardening is probably what contributes to their longevity.

[triguy46]

52. I don't consider the obsession for a weed free, fertilizer overloaded lawn to be gardening.

[MajorChode]

53. It is as much as most any other type of gardening

How do you think most people grow flowers and vegetables?

When you get old, and the kids don't come to see you any more, and your penis doesn't work, you need something to give you a reason to get out of bed in the morning.

"Honey, I'm going to go out and mow the lawn today."

"But you just mowed it yesterday."

"I know, but it might rain tomorrow."

[Tektonik]

36. Lawn = pubes?

[Bucky]

37. Question: does the sod match the Curtain's?

these

[MajorChode]

38. It's not that difficult to restore a bad lawn

The easiest and best thing to do is fertilize, make sure the lawn has enough water, and mow correctly which means to the correct height for the type of grass you have and no more than 1/3rd at a time. If you do those three things and nothing else, your lawn will eventually look respectable. A healthy lawn will choke out most weeds.

[Blue_Tires]

39. i'll be the judge of that

show us your uncovered lawn!

[Deep13]

41. I don't think perfect lawns are remotely perfect.

They are usually full of chemicals, wasted water and fertilizer, devoid of other species of plants or of tiny animals and are wholly unnatural. If I had my way, my lawn would look like natural prairie (which is what we have in this state) and would be a home to wild flowers, grasshoppers, rabbits and wood chucks. Unfortunately, the yard gestapo requires we keep the lawn trimmed and the weeds controlled.

[MajorChode]

45. No garden is truly "natural"

We have the English to thank for the modern lawn.

[Deep13]

47. The grass is different there because it rains so much. nt

[MajorChode]

49. Grass is different everywhere

In the south we use warm season grasses that are well adapted to high temperatures and less water. In the north they use cool season grasses which give them a shorter dormant season. Many extension offices develop local varieties that are even better adapted to the environment.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

42. When my wife and I go on walks around the neighborhood....

....we inevitably come down with "lawn envy" after seeing how some houses compare to ours.

On the other hand, we're much better off than some others, so it puts things in perspective, more or less.

[surrealAmerican]

43. ... if you have more than two, it just looks wrong?

[no name no slogan]

44. Lawns are like breasts-- no matter what they look like, they're all fun to roll around on

:thumbsup:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

46. i hate laws. they are so unnatural. plants a garden or somethign instead

[LynneSin]

54. That's just as much work as a lawn

Personally I want to just rip it all out and put a deck in there. The yard isn't very big.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

55. yeah, but atleast you get fruits and flowers out of it. lawns are environmentally unhealthy too

my parents took out their lawn and put a deck in it.

[LynneSin]

56. Like I said - that requires work and a green thumb will help

:cry:

If there was a humane society for the abuse of plants they would be protesting on my front porch. I kill plants no matter how much I try

:cry:

[La Lioness Priyanka]

58. you and me both. i have killed a few cactii. who knows how.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

59. you and me both. i have killed a few cactii. who knows how.

[Parche]

61. why do yours look like sod?

:woohoo: :hug: :loveya: