I had to do a B&E today. Legally- I had the resident's permission, but still...

[LeftyMom]

My Mother, LK and I were out shopping. We came back to her house and heard a small dog locked in her garage. My Stepdad's girlfriend (and no, I don't mean that in a platonic sense- another issue) had been there and took off to go to San Francisco with her puppy locked in my Mother and Stepfather's garage. My Mother does not have a key to the garage- it's Stepdad's man-cave or something. It's 100 degrees out and the puppy sounds like he's in distress though he may just be afraid being by himself. Hard to say.

So Mom grabs the phone and starts calling every possible person who might be able to reach Stepdad (he's in Oregon at the moment) to get him to call his girlfriend and get her to come get the puppy out of the garage (how she has a key to the garage and my Mother's house and my Mother does not, I don't know- suffice it to say Stepfather is a world class asshole) before he dies or something. I jump in the car and run over to Home Depot and come back with a set of bolt cutters and a crowbar, because I'm not waiting around for some idiot to drive back from where-the-fuck-ever while this poor puppy cooks.

Bolt cutters are a no-go, there's a big metal loop over the padlock to prevent getting at it, presumably for precisely to prevent precisely this sort of thing. But the wood of the detached garage is rotten as hell, so next thing I know I am standing in the heat with a crowbar just peeling the whole lock assembly back like the skin of an orange when some guy who is a friend of my Stepdad's pulls up on his stupid little crotch rocket, runs back behind the garage and finds where Stepdad hides the key. :eyes: He opens the garage and takes the puppy with him (yes, on the bike :eyes: ) presumably on orders from my Stepdad who knows me and knows damned good and well I'd have rehomed the puppy had I got the garage open first.

If that stupid fucking bimbo comes over to my Mother's house again I'm going to drag her ass out to the garage and lock her in for a few hours. See how she likes it. :grr: And my Stepdad's in some real deep shit too. He might want to stay in Oregon for a while while I cool off.

[crim son]

1. Two things: 1) You saved the puppy, for now at least and

2)"crotch-rocket"? That's a keeper.

Some people are morons and it sounds like the girlfriend is one of them. My condolences.

[LeftyMom]

2. For now. The girlfriend, I neglected to mention, is homeless and on drugs.

That poor puppy.

[HarukaTheTrophyWife]

3. Wow

Just er...wow.

[bicentennial_baby]

4. Thank you

I hope the pup will be ok. x(

:hug:

[LeftyMom]

5. He was really quiet when he came out of there.

But he was walking okay, so I think he was just exhausted from barking up a storm for who-knows-how-long, and not brain damaged from the heat. I know that can happen, I hope the idiot on the bike who took him had the sense to get him someplace cool and get him some water, because I'm sure they didn't take him to the e-vet.

[flvegan]

6. That explains that one text. I thought I'd be raising bail for you tonight.

:rofl:

BTW, when encountering a lock like that, quality boltcutters will go through both the hoop the lock goes through as well as the clasp that folds over the hoop and is locked in place.

At least the puppy is out of the garage. The gods only know where the pup is now. Wish I had been there. Crotch rocket guy would have been wondering how to put his bike back together.

All that aside...why does your stepdad (married to your mom) have a girlfriend? You know what...nevermind.

Farkin' criminal, that's what you are. :rofl:

I slay me.

[LeftyMom]

8. That was amusing.

I texted you for advice.

Mom: What the hell are you doing?

Me: Calling tech support.

Mom: I should have known. Tell (your name) I said hi.

:rofl:

edit: The cover was about 1/2 an inch thick and roughly 6 inches square. I think stepdad welded it himself. Of course, being an idiot, he bolted it onto spectactularly dryrotted wood. :eyes: Another minute and I'd have had it totally off the garage door.

[flvegan]

11. There's a cover over the whole lock mechanism?

Seriously...your mom needs to see what else is in that garage. That seems like a LOT of security for a rotted-wood mancave.

"Tech support" I have a dozen people I need to tell about that term. :rofl: I need to work that into a new nickname.

BTW, thanks for fulfilling a fantasy. I've always wanted a hot chick to text me in regards to what boltcutters she needs for a certain task. I can now check that one off.

[LeftyMom]

12. His tools are out there, and probably some amps and stuff for when his band practices.

Maybe some naked lady posters. He's 50 going on 13. :eyes:

[flvegan]

13. I cannot wait to come out for a visit.

Your family is SO gonna love me.

:rofl:

[LeftyMom]

15. I'm not letting you meet them. They're crazy and you'd run screaming.

Anyhow, you're going to be busy holding the camera for the Luscious Lady Liberators calendar* shots. :rofl:

*Note to the peanut gallery. Such a thing does not exist. If it did, idiot6 would not stop fapping to it long enough to use the intertubes.

[siligut]

7. Sometimes I just hate people!

Fucking insensitive idiotic people.

[DeepBlueC]

9. that puppy needs kidnapping

seriously...get your plausible deniability going.

[LeftyMom]

10. None needed. That girl won't take me to court, I'm sure she has warrants and she's got more drugs in

her than Rite Aid.

[DeepBlueC]

14. I hope you have an opportunity soon

Guy on the bike got there just a bit too soon for that puppy's well-being. People can be such assholes.