When do you give up and decide a relationship is too awful to endure any longer?

[raccoon]

I did, when my S-O would argue with anything I said, would interrupt me when I was talking (after I'd called him on it several times), and had developed a serious drinking problem.

[Pacifist Patriot]

1. When he asked me why I wasn't as funny, pretty or slim as all the other guy's girlfriends.

Asshat kept telling me I needed to go on 5 miles sprints when I was a freakin' size 8. I'd probably horrify him now at a size 10. By the way, I'm 5'10" tall. It scares me to think how close I came to a lifetime of emotional abuse without ever realizing it.

Actually it was his deployment to Japan that ended the relationship and was the best thing that ever happened to me. It took me awhile to figure out he was Mr. Negativity, but thank god I did. I'm not sure I'd have wized up if he hadn't been forced out of the picture for awhile.

[raccoon]

3. Interesting, something similar happened to me. A guy I was dating in the mid 1970's

was sent on deployment somewhere. I was devastated.

After a few weeks, I realized I was better off out of the relationship.

[NYC_SKP]

4. Wow. Sorry to hear that.

Sounds like that was well beyond time to break up.

:hug:

.

.

[fizzgig]

15. my first real relationship ended when he left for japan

he wasn't negative, but had become increasingly distant and uninterested in our relationship. plus he'd fallen in love with a coworker and began to put her before me. but, like you, i don't know that i would have done anything if he hadn't left.

[Strong Atheist]

2. When it is abusive in ANY way...

x(

[JitterbugPerfume]

5. you get out when

you realise it isn't working . Life is to short to be living it with someone who makes you unhappy and heaps abuse upon you

I would have been a better momn and my kids would have been happier and possibly had fewer problems if I had left their alcoholic , abusive dad years before I did . Staying in an abusive relationship does no one a favor.Never stay for the kids. Rather leave for the kids.

[Arkansas Granny]

9. Best answer I've seen so far.

My children were young when I left their father. They are grown now and don't remember all the stress and arguments that went on, but they have all told me that they can't imagine me and their dad being married. We are such total opposites. He's not a bad man, we were just totally unsuited for each other.

[JitterbugPerfume]

10. thank you

I should have gotten out a lot sooner. I was completely incompatible with my ex . He is dead now , but before he died I realised that he had a tortured soul and forgave him for everything

[raccoon]

14. Agree. My mother finallly left my father, but I wish she'd left him sooner.

When I saw THE SHINING, it reminded me of my early childhood.

[ScreamingMeemie]

6. I would guess when being with them hurts more than being without them...

I wouldn't know.

[Forkboy]

7. You'll have to ask my ex-wife.

:rofl:

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

8. When she looked at me

and said "what are you,fucking stupid?" I said. 'see you later'

[LanternWaste]

11. Pretty much when I begin to think...

Pretty much when I begin to think, "I'd be less miserable if were I alone..."

That's the secret "Bail Out Now!" signal my brain gives me when it's time to split.

[DarkTirade]

12. When I realized that the reason we never argued

was because she wasn't willing to actually deal with our problems.

That, and she made out with somebody else.

[jobycom]

13. For me, when I realized she had turned her abuse on our daughter.

I took abuse and scorn and constant lies and worse when it was directed at me, because it still worked for the kids. When I heard her screaming irrationally at my daughter for minor issues, threatening to and actually hitting her over insignificant slip-ups, I knew it was time to give my children other options.

I guess the answer depends on the relationship. If you have no kids, the decision is easier.

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. The moment I realized it was awful, I suppose.

[Enrique]

17. when I would purposely miss my train stop

to delay going home. Every day.

[SKKY]

18. When this thought popped into my head after an argument...

..."You know what? Screw her. Screw the kids. I'm done." I had never, ever had such a thought, and realized it was time to get out before that became my basic frame of mind. It wasn't easy, but it's been a little bit easier every day since then. I never actually said that to her, but God knows I thought it. And at that very moment, I absolutely meant it.