A HopeHoops rant - 8th Grade Farewell Dance SLUTWEAR FROM HELL!

[HopeHoops]

:rant:
The RANT is ON.

Let me say first that my wife and I are by NO means prudes. We are very open with the girls about sexual matters and have always conveyed the attitude that there is nothing to be ashamed about in your own body, clothed or otherwise. Females in particular need to be confident about how they look exactly the way they are, despite the constant monsoon of media messages to the contrary. My wife and daughters rarely wear any makeup - only for special occasions. Women don't need it to be pretty. We've done well in that area.

My three daughters are all individually and independently self-limiting on modesty, actually in a way that shocks us. They won't even try on hip-huggers even if that's the only option for jeans at the time (which it often was before Britney Spears forgot her panties). We've speculated that it is a result of our being open with them.

Now for the RANT!

:nuke: I needed one of those.

I just dropped my youngest off for the 8th grade farewell dance. The kids were all outside waiting for the door to open. It looked like a damn RED LIGHT DISTRICT! Some of the dresses looked like something out of a Victoria's Secret catalog! Others were worse. What pissed me off is that as we pulled up, my daughter said, "I knew it. I'm going to be the only one in a full-length skirt."

It took a bit of scanning to find something longer than an ass-cheek-length skirt, but I spotted a girl in very modest ankle-length dress and pointed her out. I'm not sure that made her feel better. She looked great in the outfit she had chosen, but that scene crushed her self-image in the setting.

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PARENTS! I was embarrassed just to drive through the drop-off area!

Who the FUCK would let an 8th grade girl wear a hooker dress to a dance? One or two girls dressed that way I could excuse, but finding the EXCEPTION was the problem in this case! Hell, the pictures the parents were taking probably qualify for child pornography!

:mad: :wtf: :grr: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

But the REAL reason I'm mad is that my daughter felt uncomfortable because she was in something modest. Something has gone VERY wrong.

And I rant with the repeated assertion that I am about as far from a "prude" as you can get. But I do know when something is simply wrong. That had "wrong" written all over it. I think those girls have stupid fucking assholes for parents and I hope at least some of them see this post. Assholes. I feel like crying.

End of rant.

The RANT is OFF.
:rant:

[Shell Beau]

1. Reminds me of the Paris Hilton South Park episode.

I hear ya though. I see barely teens wearing very revealing things these days. :shrug:

Bella won't be. Nuff said. I will also teach her what you have conveyed to your children, but I am not allowing that kind of dress. Not gonna do it. WOuldn't be prudent (in my best G. Bush voice)

[HopeHoops]

2. That would be George Herbert Walker Bush

At least he wasn't a dumbfuck.

[Shell Beau]

5. Yes, that would be daddy Bush.

[conscious evolution]

67. The last five minutes

of that episode is probably one of the most disgustingly hilarious thing I have ever seen.

[Cant trust em]

3. 8th grade is pretty young

They should at least wait until high school to get all skankified.

[HopeHoops]

7. I avoided that word.

But it was pretty fucking close to it!

[Midlodemocrat]

4. Oh, this is gonna go well.

:popcorn:

[Shell Beau]

6. I thought so myself which is why I commented first!

HAvne't been in a flame war in a week or so! :P

I managed to avoid the granny thread! :o

[Midlodemocrat]

9. I didn't, but I didn't get flamed. Pity, that.

:rofl:

[Shell Beau]

12. You're slipping!

Come on now!! :P

[JVS]

11. .

:popcorn:

[mcctatas]

13. the schadenfreude runs deep with you

:P

[Midlodemocrat]

15. Where in Sam Hill have you been?????

[JVS]

17. Check out post 14 oh schadenfreudelicious one

[Midlodemocrat]

23. Must be a secret, hidden, JVS thing, because I don't get it.

:cry:

You can PM me if you want.

Series. Totally don't get it.

[mcctatas]

19. resisting the occasional urge to feed my ex into a wood chipper

damn my self restraint :evilgrin:

[jeff30997]

25. Yep !

You're a real Mother Teresa but with a different look.:P

How are you ? You do realize that you are badly missed over here,and

not only by my little self do ya ?. :hi:

[Midlodemocrat]

26. CUT IT OUT!!!!! I'm the one you love, not her.

:eyes:

[jeff30997]

30. Well you haven't spoke to me in 2 days...

So this was my Machiavellian tactic to entice you in a semi-psychotic outburst of

jealousy. :P

[Midlodemocrat]

33. FREAK!!!! I was working!! I do have a life outside of DU.

Not that anyone would notice.

:rofl:

[jeff30997]

38. Pfft ! No more Midlo ? Who cares ?

Well besides me of course.I'm on day 3 in my cross-Canada expedition to get

you a crappy picture of those two Supernatural weirdos.I crossed some beaver infested

maple syrup swamps and was forced to eat that thing called Canadian bacon (Barf!).

Now I plan to steal a Mounty's horse to get faster.If this is not proof

of my unconditional adoration I wonder what is,you ingrate ! :P

[Midlodemocrat]

65. If this was posted on FB, I would 'like' it.

:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

45. The Sultan of Shadenfreude shakes SALT upon you!

Reference: Pearls Before Swine

[HopeHoops]

8. AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!

:nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

I'm even MORE mad now. FUCK THOSE ASSHOLE PARENTS!

(this is me, gasping for air)

I'm better now, thanks.

[JVS]

14. Here, watch this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViKa2-sJ_uE

:hide:

[Lars39]

10. Shoulda stuck around to watch 'em dance,

that way you could have combined two train-wreck threads. :D Sad, isn't it. :(

[southerncrone]

77. OMG! The dancing!

Kids don't have "parents" anymore, they have money machines who simply placate the kids to keep them out of their hair.
This type of thing has been going on for more than a decade.

I must relate my similar story:

I took my 7th grade son to a "dance" when he was in middle school & I also chaperoned that night. I was APPALLED at what I witnessed there. I must make it clear that "I am not a prude." (sound familiar)
Not only were the girls dressed like hookers, they were doing "sandwich dances" w/boys! All they lacked were "poles" to dance on & you would have thought your were in a strip club. The principal & teachers were walking around like nothing out of the ordinary was going on! It felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. My son seemed very uncomfortable, but finally found a group of his guy friends & they talked the rest of the night in a corner of the gym. On the way home (a 30 minute drive), my son & I sat in silence. When we arrived home we each sat in our living room for about an hour, again in silence (no TV, no anything). I believe we were both in a state of shock. We never spoke of this, ever. He also never wanted to go back to another one of these "dances" (thankfully). It was truly HORRIFYING!

When you look at our culture, how can we expect anything else. Role models = Brittany Spears, Paris Hilton, & other assorted whores. These kids are raising themselves & TV personalities are their role models, not their parents, because the parents are "off doing their own thing". The "prime time" shows are full of inappropriate topics & language. MSM is feeding the over-sexing of minors. My hope is that the Obama administration will eventually have time to address this via the SEC.

I am now a teacher at the high school that this middle school feeds into. The principal from that night is now our Superintendent of Schools. Life is strange sometimes. It is also scary. :scared:

[HopeHoops]

78. I think they call that "moshing"

Apparently it also involves the crotch slamming I've seen at some ADULT dance clubs (not strip clubs, just dance clubs).

[TZ]

16. I had a friend who ranted to me

About this not too long ago. Like you she's no prude. But she was complaining about HS. I know exactly where you are coming from.

[AlCzervik]

18. as the mother of an 8th grade girl it only matters to me what my daughter is wearing.

she's not wearing hoochie gear but honestly i don't care what the others girl have on, it makes no difference in my life.

[Midlodemocrat]

20. +1

And, the price needed to be right. I swear, TM's green dress from last year's prom? $100 less than my wedding gown.

:banghead:

[AlCzervik]

24. yeah, we just bought the graduation dress for 8th grade, i really hate the store it came from

because it's overpriced but the dress is lovely and modest, same thing with her cotillion dress, it's like the dress Audrey Hepburn wore in Breakfast at Tiffany's, it was simple and so pretty and she had the most kick ass shoes to go with it, the flip side, none of it's trendy so she can wear it for years.

[Midlodemocrat]

27. I am so hoping BabyM's adoration of her sister lasts long enough

to recycle at least one of these dresses. Gah.

[AlCzervik]

28. My neighbor girl Zaria gets Anastasia's stuff, it's nice to have someone to give it to

and Zaria is Stasia's little bud.

[Midlodemocrat]

29. Man. I LOVE that name.

Anastasia. What a beautiful name.

[AlCzervik]

31. my husband calls her Stasha laysha ding dong.

he asked her "When you become a famous artist are you going to shorten it to Ding?"


:rofl:

[Shell Beau]

39. I totally believe in classic.

The 80's are a testament to that. Wear what will look good always. Of course that is easy for me at 30 to say. My 17 year old self... :rofl: Not so much.

[AlCzervik]

42. Shell you should have seen my wedding dress, circa 1991, oh i'm sure i loved it and it was "in" at

the time but honest to god it looks i could have smuggled in sheep in my sleeves.

Here it is-Oh and check out my 5 year old nieces big ass hair, loaded with Aqua Net..

[Shell Beau]

46. You looked beautiful!

It was the 80's! Lucky for me, I was young in that time period! But you would have been an oddball if you wore something normal!! :)

[LeftyMom]

55. Midlo had one of those too. I've seen pictures.

[Captain Hilts]

58. It's actually pretty nice. It's almost impossible to look good in a white dress. You look fine. nt

[Captain Hilts]

59. Exactly. I wish I could fit into my mother's clothes. Good stuff. nt

[hedgehog]

69. Just stepping in here to gloat a minute - my daughter picked up a gorgeous dress

for the Senior Dinner dance for $20 at school. Every year a charity different group brings in used dresses to sell. I asked her about shoes - the ones that came with the dress also fit perfectly!

[HopeHoops]

79. My three girls love to shop at thrift stores.

They like the older styles and one of them has a Thursday deal where EVERYTHING under $5 (which is most of everything) is only $1 per item if you buy 10 or more. That can take a few hours.

[hedgehog]

84. My girls love the thrift stores - they insist on buying American made wear but

figure all bets are off if the buy second hand!

[DS1]

21. TTIUWP

[Midlodemocrat]

22. HOLY FUCK!!!! Are you kidding me?????? He's talking jailbait here, Hitler.

[DS1]

56. Pics, useless without them. Pope John Paul

[DarkTirade]

32. Hell, I've noticed that at work.

Teen and 20something year old girls are wearing normal non-slutty clothes, while the tweens are wearing shorts so tiny you get a wedgie just by LOOKING at them. Quite bizarre.

[Ilsa]

34. "WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PARENTS!" Yeah, that is the problem.

I wonder if this is a regional issue. Where I live, our neighbors would't permit their daughters to go out looking slutty in clothing that barely covers their asses. The girls here wear real prom dresses that cost $0-$250. They do their hair up. The guys wear tuxes and suits, even if the tux is with a bolo tie.

It is the parents who have let their kids get out of control.

Good for you that your family is so well adjusted. If I was living nearby, I could have done a quick knee-length cut and hem so your daughter wouldn't be so conspicuous, but hell, it is only one night.

I hope she has fun.

[HopeHoops]

40. Funny you should mention the knee-length cut.

After I wrote this rant, my wife informed me that my daughter took a knee-length skirt in her handbag.

[billyoc]

35. Fashion's tough, man. I can still remember the salmon colored leisure suit from my 8th grade dance.

Motherfucker was SALMON.

[Shell Beau]

36. I guess you didn't want to stand out!

:rofl:

[billyoc]

37. and a white belt!

:rofl:

[HopeHoops]

41. I'm thinking either "Saturday Night Fever" era or "Miami Vice" era.

At least you weren't in a thong.

[billyoc]

49. Saturday Night Fever era.

Weren't leisure suits banned in the '80s? :rofl:

[HopeHoops]

50. No, they were condemned to the realm of video games

Leisure Suit Larry

[tigereye]

71. it was hard to stand out in the 70s, Shell.

:rofl:


My mom made all my dresses for dances. Never bought a one, and I got to pick the patterns that I liked. I had a lovely blue velvet one, a powder blue one with a jacket for one prom, a lavender swiss polka dot one for a MIlitary Ball I went to (I had a lot of friends in ROTC at the time - weird.)


Wow, my mom made me a lot of dresses! I feel lucky that she had the time and inclination to make em.



As far as the too skimpy dresses go, it sometimes flips me out to see how young teens dress, but hell, the dresses seem mild compared to the simulated sex dancing that some of em do. The hanging on each other dancing that we did back when seems so tame now. I guess since there were some seriously short skirts in the 70s, short skirts now don't seem so bad. I think it's easy to forget that girls that age are growing up and reveling in their adolescenece

[tigereye]

delete dupe

:

[tigereye]

72. delete dupe

[tigereye]

73. delete dupe

[sammythecat]

43. I'd have felt the same way

and I feel your distress over your daughters embarrassment. That would be hard.

[HopeHoops]

44. Yeah, I have to leave now to go pick her up.

She's very sensitive and not at all into the "culture" thing. We don't watch TV. She doesn't give a shit about anyone who is ON TV.

On the plus side, she befriends all of what she calls "the outcasts", and she includes herself in that group. Her GPA is about 3.98 and that actually causes social distress because they call her "the brain" and such.

Society is hell on girls.

[jeff30997]

47. "Society is hell on girls."

And it's even worst for the smart ones.:(

[HopeHoops]

51. "10 Ways to Make Your Man Have Better Orgasms" - you see that every day in the check-out.

I'm male, but I've always been disgusted by the "YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH" message magazines and advertising in general sends out. "USE THIS PRODUCT OR YOU ARE A FAILURE AS A FEMALE!"

That just fucking pisses me off. Should I tell you how I really feel?

[HopeHoops]

52. UPDATE 2: My daughter is in the other room talking to my wife.

1) Girls were flipping their skirts up where you could see the places their undies SHOULD be - but there wasn't anything there. (I'm thinking thong, but she seemed shocked).

2) Couples were doing some really weird things with their hips. My wife let that one pass.

3) She felt weird because all of the other girls (I take that to mean many/most) had low-cut tops that showed their breasts and skirts that showed most of their legs. She was in a full length skirt. My wife pointed out that mystique is a long-standing attraction to men.

4) They had a veggie platter and a fruit tray. The melon chunks were particularly good.

[jeff30997]

53. I totally agree.

If you don't have product X you're a looser.Product Y will finally make you feel better

about yourself.Argh ! It's a good thing you got no TV,your daughter have less exposure to

all that brainwashing but sadly there's always the good old peer pressure to make you feel

excluded if you don't want to play the buying-useless-crap-imposed-by-publicity game.:banghead:

[Captain Hilts]

60. Esquire is so much more fun to read, even for us members of the Falopian Forest.

It's about having FUN!

[HopeHoops]

48. UPDATE: I picked her up.

She didn't change into the shorter skirt (which I didn't know she even had until I got home from dropping her off - my wife told me it was in her bag).

There were assholes in SUVs stopped all over the drive to the pickup area. And yes, all of the assholes where in SUVs. I've got good whiskers so I slipped between the gaps.

Overall, she had a good time. I'm still pissed.

[ThomCat]

54. I'm glad she had a good time.

And it's cool that she didn't feel the need to change into the shorter skirt to fit in.

I hope she got complements for how she looked, as well as for her good sense. :)

It sounds to me that you've been teaching her some lessons at home that many parents overlook. Good for you!

[Captain Hilts]

61. Love the whiskers comment. nt

[Captain Hilts]

57. Agree, young girls are sexualized at too young an age. Most 'formal' wear is just awful. nt

[ismnotwasm]

62. It's kind of a backlash

We try to teach our young women to own and control their sexuality and their bodies. A sexist society that still has horrid sexual dichotomies like the madonna/whore complex tells them in order to do that, they need to put themselves on display.

I'm still not over those fucking "BRATS" dolls. Give one of those to an 8 year old then act surprised when baby girl wants fishnets and leather in 8th grade. Sad. Where are the parents? I have no fucking idea.

I raised my girls when it was more about multiple piercings and illicit tattoos. We talked about display and owning sexuality. Hard to teach girls to define their sexuality for themselves, rather than for male expectations, but I found once we talked it out, and they figured it out, they dressed to please themselves. One is a fitness expert, one is a California girl, with her own boobs thank you, and the youngest is a little rainbow hippie. They take no shit, those young women.

At least in the '70's we had Robert Plant with his revealingly tight pants. Bad teeth, but tight pants.

[Mythsaje]

63. I seriously doubt any of the 8th grade boys had any complaints.

I see that sort of thing all the time, to tell you the truth. Some of the ways people let their kids dress... I mean, plaid? Really?

[OmahaBlueDog]

64. The funny thing is that I hear conservative parents say the same thing

..and that is by no means intended as a shot or an insult, but your post could have just as easily appeared on a conservative website, and gotten pretty much the same range of reactions. That leads to this question: if conservative parents don't like this, and liberal parents don't like it, who is supporting this behavior? I can't imagine they all snuck off and got dressed out of site of their parents.

Then I got to read this gem yesterday:

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Parenting/story?id=7693121&page=1

<<In the documentary, "Oral Sex Is the New Goodnight Kiss," girls as young as 11 years old talk about having sex, going to sex parties and -- in some extreme situations -- crossing into prostitution by exchanging sexual favors for money, clothes or even homework and then still arriving home in time for dinner with the family.

"Five minutes and I got $100," one girl said. "If I'm going to sleep with them, anyway, because they're good-looking, might as well get paid for it, right?"

Another girl talked about being offered $20 to take off her shirt or $100 to do a striptease on a table at a party.>>

[HopeHoops]

80. This post would fit in PERFECTLY on a conservative web site!

Of course, I would have to drop the part about not being a prude.

[cherish44]

66. I went to 8th grade graduation and think most of the girls looked very lovely.....

Some the the dresses where shorter but they were pretty and dressy not the day shift hooker style that was popular when my sister graduated in 1990. And Shoes with big chunky heels are out! FINALLY!! Now I'm waiting these gawd awful 70s style sunglasses to go away. http://www.specialistauctions.com/cache/cache_500_1__a847418_mainpicjpg.img?2882
Oh and Crocs need to be frickin BANNED. My parents LOVE crocs. "Why don't you get your daughter some Crocs?" I told them she has the good fashion sense to recognize they're fucking ugly. They remind me of those hideous duck shoes that were popular in the 80s which I refused to wear even though they were "cool".
?v=0

[Ikonoklast]

68. Posted without comment.

[HopeHoops]

76. That's about what I'm talking about - except the girl on the right is in a long dress.

:mad: :grr: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke: :nuke:

[hedgehog]

70. I ran into this about 15 years back when girls showed up for

graduation from junior high decked out like it was prom night. Heck, my kids wore a nice Sunday dress or pair of pants!

It's really a class issue, and by class I don't mean economic class. Going through the thread, there's evidence of middle class families doing this (the SUV crowd) and both conservatives and liberals finding it obnoxious. I think if you respect yourself you don't do this and if you run with the crowd you do.

Another example - for us First Communion always meant a delicate white dress for the girls and a clip-on tie for the boys. My mother made all our dresses and the dresses for my daughters and nieces. Now I see complaints both in the US and Ireland about some families turning First Communions into small weddings minus the groom. The girls' dresses can cost $500+, they wear white fur stoles and some even turn up at Church in a horse drawn carriage!

Come to think of it - my parish went back and forth on gowns for Confirmation after some of the girls showed up one year dresses for a night club!

It all comes down to a need to show everyone everything you've got!

[Tikki]

74. Here is my rant about 8th grade celebrations/graduation...

I worked in a Middle School...after 8th grade the students were off to High School.

So this School District I worked at had an eighth grade graduation. A real graduation
with caps and gowns and diplomas and reception and/or dance after.

This was usually done the Friday afternoon, and into night, of the week before classes ended.

I was shocked that from time to time that one of these 8th graders would tell me that
they had already 'graduated' so they weren't too concerned about getting their
High School diploma or going on to school at all.

I hope the word 'graduation' has been removed from these celebrations.




Tikki

[Iggo]

75. 8th grade farewell dance.

Is that new? Some sort of a The Prom for 14 yr olds?

I wanna change my vote in the other thread from Weddings to The Prom.

[HopeHoops]

81. We had one in my Jr. High - although that was 9th and in '78

It was just a dance. The biggest gripe that came out of that was that the band (yes A BAND WAS PERFORMING) played "Cocaine" and we all knew the words. None of the people who actually DID cocaine showed UP for the dance, but that didn't matter. We wore jeans and t-shirts.

[Iggo]

83. Yeah, I remember we had an after-school dance. (1975)

And we had a band. Hellif I remember what they played. Probably a copy band. Let's see, the big pop acts that year were...oh, jeez...Captain & Tenille, Elton John, Neil Sedaka, KC & The Sunshine Band, LaBelle, The Silver Convention, The Bay City Rollers (yes that was the year of S.A.T-U-R.D-A-Y...NIGHT!).

God that dance must've sucked royally.

[MineralMan]

82. Junior High Farewell Dance -- 1959

I remember this one. I was there. "April Love" on the...wait for it...AV Record Player." Boys on one side of the room, girls on the other.

Now, we had ballroom dance instruction one day a week in our PE classes, but that was not enough to get the boys away from the wall to ask the girls to dance. We could dance, but we didn't want to very much. We had no choice in PE class, but here at the dance, we did have a choice, and most of us chose to keep our distance from the strange creatures on the opposite wall. We were fascinated, but unsure of what to do with them.

I was still about 5'3" tall. I would grow a gread deal in the next six months. The girls had boobs. The boys, for the most part, were either pre-pubertal or at the beginning of that transition. Most of the girls were taller than most of the boys. The girls were in church clothing. Nobody bought a dress for this dance.

The girls' PE teacher was making the circuit of the room, grabbing 13-14 year old boys more or less by the ear and draging them across the room and selecting a 13-14 year old girl for them. The boys' PE teacher just looked uncomfortable with the whole thing.

The cotillion kids were dancing, though. They were the kids whose parents had enough money to force them to take dancing classes and learn about that etiquette crap and so on. In the next few years, they'd become the cheerleaders and the basketball players and the student government wonks.

Me? I was a band geek...

I finally did dance with a couple of girls...awkwardly...but I did dance. It wasn't so bad. The girls smelled pretty good and they didn't feel too bad, either. No close-dancing, of course. That could prove embarassing for the boys.

All of this worked out OK over the next few years, once we caught up with the girls in height and hormones. But the 8th grade farewell dance? Not so much.