My Dad died ten years ago today.

[Deep13]

He was 51 years old. A freak stroke killed him. He was a rock in my life. I had always thought that there wasn't anything that could keep him from what he wanted. He worked hard all his life in retail so he could retire early to his Christmas tree farm and take up training assistance dogs. He was one year into that retirement when he died. I still can't bear to think of him without crying. I feel like a vast gulf has opened between my life then and now, like the time he was around are memories that belong to someone else.



Here he is in his typical easy-chair pose around 1986 or so.



This was a Christmas morning in the late 1980s shortly after I graduated high school. He's on the left and I'm on the right. He was a district manager for CVS back East, hence the suspenders.




I appreciate any warm sentiments of course, but please spare me the religious platitudes. Thank you.

[Heidi]

1. What a handsome guy your dad was.

And he sounds like the kind of person I would have liked to have known. I'm sorry for your loss, Deep13.

[Haole Girl]

2. 51 is way too young

And so close to retirement too. I'm sorry you lost your father so early in life. It's a void nothing else can really fill, isn't it...

:hug:

[nuxvomica]

3. In that second picture he looks awfully proud about something

And I don't think it was the suspenders. ;-) Sorry for your loss, man. He sounds like a great dad. :toast:

[undergroundnomore]

4. Losing someone you love

is very difficult. I know they say that time makes it easier. I don't know that this is true. I think it just gives you time to develop some coping skills.

I lost my brother almost ten years ago and there are times when a joke, a picture, a song, or even the season's first snow fall bring it all back to me.

What's sad is that so many people try to avoid talking about your loved one because they don't want to hurt you or bring up memories. God memories are all we have.

Thank you for sharing some of your memories of such a wonderful man. Obviously he raised a great son who is a legacy to all that he believed in.

If you ever just want to share a memory with me feel free to contact me.

[Deep13]

11. Well, not ALL he believed in.

He usually voted Republican.

[undergroundnomore]

18. He believe in you

and loved you and that's worth all the treasures here on earth. Sending you a big hug.

[Deep13]

26. Thanks. nt

[Blue Diadem]

5. That's a great picture of you and him. You look a lot like him.

:hug: Gosh 51 is way too young.

It was 22 yrs this past week for my Dad. Seems like a lifetime ago and I still miss him everyday.

[Dappleganger]

6. A great memorial to him.

I'm sorry you lost him so soon. My mother passed away from a stroke last August at the age of 66 and it seems like it just happened yesterday.
It's a shame all that they are missing out on right now.

[bigwillq]

7. That's a great pic of you two.

He may be gone, but you can always keep his spirit alive. Do something in his memory. Maybe do something with the dogs, since that was a passion of his.

:hug:

[Call Me Wesley]

8. I'm sorry for your loss.

Some shouldn't go this early. Your dad is probably the one I wished to have had.

[foxfeet]

9. He looks like a great guy who was proud of you.

Anniversary dates can be a bitch. Remember the good times. I cried like a baby at my step dad's funeral. He married my Mom when I was 7 and my younger sister was 4. He raised us both as his own and was the living example of hard work and caring for one's family. I will be forever grateful to him. (We just couldn't talk politics, he being a Limbaugh listener in his old age.) You have my sympathy.

[Gormy Cuss]

10. Your father looks like he was a fun guy.

I'm sorry for him and for you that he died so young.

[Deep13]

27. Sometimes.

He had a really sarcastic and goofy wit. Usually, though, he was remote and introverted.

[ShenandoahAspen]

12. Sorry for your loss.

I know the feeling, all too well. It will be 20 years this October since my father was killed in a freak automobile accident. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

[Mike 03]

13. I'm so sorry for your father and what you have gone through.

Your post scares me, because my father is dying even as we speak, and we are so close.

I thought that being close would make it easier.

But I can tell you this: Since we have been unable to work together, I have completely lost my bearings, in the same sense as you say: I'm not sure who I am anymore.

We are that close.

My heart goes out to you.

If you have any advice whatsoever, please, I'm begging you to share it.

[Deep13]

14. I'm afraid nothing will make it any easier.

One just has to take the emotional hit and work ones way back to emotional stability. You'll find you are stronger than you think you are.

[orfalb]

15. So, no one ever said you look like him, did they? Nice tie!

Ten years is a long time. Vast gulfs will open up and memories will fade, I think. I lost my dad about 5 years ago and I find it more and more difficult to remember things specifically. I mean, the stories stay the same, but, something is lost in true recollection. Anyway, it's great that you are remembering him. He looks like a great guy...

[Deep13]

30. Those ties were popular in the 1980s.

I really never liked the knit ties some guys wore back then.

[applegrove]

16. He looks/sounds like a great guy. Vibes.

[Shine]

17. Wow, you look just like him.

My deepest sympathies for the loss of your father at such a young age. I wish you peace and healing and that someday happy memories can outweigh the sadness in your heart.

:hug:

[datasuspect]

19. my dad is dying right now

his deterioration seemed to happen overnight.

he evidently had undetected colon cancer which has spread throughout his body. he's in the hospice center now, waiting to die, i guess.

i never understood that. why prolong it? if they know you are terminal, why can't they euthanize a person? just seems cruel to let someone suffer like that with their body rotting on the insides.

i don't know.

[Deep13]

25. Sorry for your situation.

I can only hope the advanced knowledge saves you some of the shock.

[Sultana]

20. So sorry

He died so young. :(

Handsome father and son, the CVS suspenders are cute (it seems he really loved his job).

:hug:

[Deep13]

24. No, he just tolerated his job.

What he really loved was Christmas.

[cordelia]

21. Looks like some serious father/son love

in that Christmas photograph. It shows in both your faces.

My dad will have been gone 23 years ago July 4, and I still get teary at times. Like now. I suspect I always will.

My best to you, and all who still love him.

[Skittles]

22. so sorry, Deep

I know the pain - my dad killed himself at age 50 :cry:

[Deep13]

23. Damn, that's horrible!

:hug:

[MajorChode]

28. I know exactly what you mean

My dad died 13 years ago. Hardly a day goes by that I don't think of him. We were like two sides of the same coin. He died of pancreatic cancer just two years after he retired. Some memories have faded, but some are quite vivid and those are the ones I hold on to.

Since my dad had terminal cancer, we had plenty of time to talk before he was gone. I asked him how long it took for him to get over his dad dying (20 years before) and he said you just never do.

[Aristus]

29. I have no doubt you miss him every day. It's not easy losing a father.

He was so young, too. :hug::pals: