Are you were you expected to be in life? wanted to be?

[NJmaverick]

better? worse? different but just as good?

[bif]

1. Unemployed? Hell no!

[NJmaverick]

4. Sorry to hear that, hopefully it's just a temporary condition

:hi:

[DFW]

2. When I was 9, I wanted to be a professional Baseball player

I strayed far afield from that one.

When I was 22, I had just graduated from college and still had no idea what I wanted to do.

That summer, I met my wife-to-be and thought, "I want to marry a girl like that." Now, 35 years
later, we are married, so I am definitely what I wanted to be in that respect. I was recruited
by my employer a year later, and am now station chief for Europe for them. I never expected it or
wanted it. I am, however, pretty glad I'm there. Different from a pro ball player, but probably
not only just as good, but better.

[NJmaverick]

5. What sort of work are you doing?

[DFW]

11. Umm, yes.

I hesitate to get too specific. It's not your typical James Bond movie fantasy job, but it
does send me to unpleasant places sometimes, and carries a little risk, so I prefer not to
give details in a public forum. I'm not CIA, but I have talked with Valerie Plame, and the
honor of being outed by some right wing asshole with a grudge is not one I wish to share
with her. We walk around with enough of a target painted on our backs as it is. Sorry to be
so mysterious, but safety first and all that.

[NJmaverick]

14. Sounds very interesting. In the scheme of things it looks like you ended up

making a more significant contribution to society than if you were playing games for a living.:hi:

[DFW]

24. Some would debate that

In the eyes of some, I'd bet that they would say that I am just playing a different
kind of game, and in a sense, I guess they're not wrong. But it's what I have ended
up doing for over 30 years now, and with no regrets, other than I would have loved to
have been a professional musician as well. Can't ever really have it all, can you?

[NJmaverick]

30. Yeah, I guess we all have to pick something off life's menu

[skygazer]

3. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a vet

My best friend and I were going to be vets and practice together. She is, and we actually worked together for several years - I did her office and lab work and helped her on large animal visits. But I don't regret not taking that route.

My life isn't really anything like I expected but I'm very happy with it.

[NJmaverick]

6. That's good to hear

:toast:

[Sigh Sister]

7. Well, as strange as this sounds

I never really had dreams to be anything as a child. My childhood was filled with turmoil, so I kind of just sleepwalked through it. I was never really encouraged to dream about my future. I earned a BA in Psychology, worked in the field for 8 years and then went to nursing school. I don't love what I do, but I earn a paycheck.

[NJmaverick]

28. Do you feel that you at least got past the turmoil?

[Sigh Sister]

45. Oh yeah. And I'm happy with my personal life

I just wish I enjoyed what I do for a living more.

[old mark]

8. Pretty much where I wanted to be, but I never really expected to

get here. I am still amazed at the way things turned out, and yes, I am doing what I have enjoyed doing all my life, and never could do for much of it. What's funny is that I never succeeded despite years of trying, yet it all just happened while I was doing something else.

Thanks for asking.

mark

[NJmaverick]

13. Well doing what you enjoy, has to be pretty good. right?

[old mark]

26. Having a better time now than I have ever had.

I am very fortunate to be here at all, all else is gravy.

mark

[Deja Q]

9. Trying to get 'there'

[NJmaverick]

12. Trying is good

:toast:

[no name no slogan]

10. No. My body count is way off.

Damn those Scientologists.

[Wapsie B]

15. No but coming out of high school I had few expectations.

I didn't have any clear direction. At the time I thought being a band director would be a good fit for me so naturally I majored in music in college. But I learned more in life by going with my intuition than waiting around for advice on my life's direction, which of course never came. I'm not the kind of person who's ever received any heartfelt guidance from instructors. I've not networked my way into any of the jobs I've had. It's all been on me. Rightly or wrongly I wear that as a badge of honor as well as a chip on my shoulder at times. I never envisioned myself as CEO of some large corporation. At the most basic level I certainly don't have the political personality for that sort of thing.

[NJmaverick]

22. Interesting, are you happy with your situation?

[Wapsie B]

34. Yes in a lot of ways I am.

I'm in a job that gives me a fair amount of freedom at times without being in business for myself. I have been held back at times by allowing myself to be outmaneuvered and downright intimidated by hiring managers. But that has been due in large part to an underestimation of my abilities more than anything. I'm still not quite in my right environment, but finding out what that right place is has been a lifelong challenge. I've had to settle for what felt good to me at the time rather than having an all-encompassing definition of what my life's work should be. Some people just know that they're destined for medical school or to be an accountant for example. I have had no such revelation.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

16. where, right.

Are you where you expected to be in life? No.
wanted to be? No.
better? No.
worse? No.
different but just as good? Yes.

[NJmaverick]

23. That's not all bad. right?

:hi:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

29. not bad...at all....just different.

:hi:

[KitchenWitch]

17. No, I am not where I expected to be

I pretty much expected to be dead 20 years ago. I had cancer when I was 22. I am now 45.

[NJmaverick]

21. Good for you! That's great that you were able to beat it.

[kedrys]

18. Not even close

and feeling pretty conflicted about it. I hadn't planned on any of the following: getting married, getting ass invaded by the guy who built our first house and the lawyer who sued him on our behalf, going bankrupt, losing our second house, moving back to Canada, and oh yeah, the whole spouse-finally-getting-on-with-gender-transition 13 years into our marriage, when I only learned that tidbit 2 years ago.

And that's the short list. :( Sometimes I don't even know what to think.

[NJmaverick]

25. Wow that sounds like one interesting life story

sorry if not everything is a good as you wanted it to be.:hug:

[kedrys]

48. It's too farfetched to even sell as a movie of the week

I lived it and I don't believe it half the time. :hug: back atcha. :)

[Mr. Ected]

19. I Don't Know If I Ever Had Any "Expectations"; Hopes, Maybe

In my family life, I am entirely fulfilled. Wonderful wife, 2 beautiful and healthy children.

In my work life, I managed to earn an advanced degree, and work in my profession at will.

In my extracurricular life, I was able to travel extensively before the kids were born, and even moved to Europe and lived there for 8 years with my family before returning stateside.

But here I am, 48 years old, and I still feel that there needs to be more to life than this.

I'm still on a quest; still looking for alternatives to the status quo. Now, though, I'm not just making decisions about my own life. I have to take into account the children's best interests, first and foremost.

It's not an impediment, but it certainly complicates matters.

Oh, and more money. God knows I need more money than I have...and THAT I foolheartedly expected to have acquired a long time ago.

[NJmaverick]

27. I wish you luck

:hi:

[Richard Steele]

20. EXPECTED to be? Fuck that noise. WANTED to be? Maybe I'm there.

I'm a toothless hillbilly from Polecat Hollow,
and that's no joke.
Google it sometime: "Polecat Hollow" is a real place
in Central PA, and I am from there.

I suppose I'm everything I was 'expected' to be...
I have a certificate in "small engine repair",
I have three really good recipes for squirrel,
and my "gun collection" consists of items that
were all considered to be "state of the art Assault Weapons" in their day...
Starting with my 1873 Remington single-shot.


Wanted to be?
I never wanted to be anything- no one ever told me
that I should "want" anything, so I never have.
I was raised by people who had "made do" with what they had
for 400 years.
I've often wondered what it's like to "want".
But I guess I'll never know, because the very CONCEPT is beyond me.

I'm currently a manager at a thrift store,
and I'm happier than a pig in shit.

[dixiegrrrrl]

88. I understand exactly what you said. A rare blessing.

Not everyone is happy and content just "being" where they are.

[Richard Steele]

93. It's always a treat to hear that someone understands exactly what I said.

Moreso when I actually BELIEVE it...
like now.

Thanks, dixiegrrrrl. :hug:

[MorningGlow]

31. Well, I didn't exactly "expect" to be anywhere

so I can't really ascribe success or failure to where or what I am now, if that makes any sense.

I did manage to escape the family expectations, which is a VERY GOOD THING. My brother and I were the first in our extended blue-collar family to go to college and postgrad. My parents wanted and expected me to be a secretary. Nothing against secretaries, but I wanted more, and I achieved that (I'm a writer). So that was good.

I have a fantastic kid, but again, I never really knew whether I was destined to be a parent or not, but that part of my life turned out great.

My spiritual life has exceeded my wildest dreams, and I'm profoundly grateful for the opportunities I've had to develop that part of myself.

However, I have had to leave some things behind--namely my love for music and theater. I live in an area with very limited arts resources, which makes it hard to pursue even "extracurricular" dreams. Small price to pay in the long run, I think.

Still, I feel like I could do more with my life. I'm ruminating on that while I spend my time tending to my son's formative years. I don't like deferring dreams or even passing interests, but sometimes it has to be done for the sake of someone you love, and I'm okay with that. :hi:

[NJmaverick]

32. Ever think of starting up a small community theater in your area?

My town has one that has been thriving for years yet their theater can only fit an audience of a little over 30.

[MorningGlow]

33. I suddenly have visions of Waiting for Guffman

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[bikebloke]

35. I didn't want to be a paper shuffler.

Or a cube rat in today's parlance. I wanted to do something useful. Well, I'm a fucking cube rat.

[NJmaverick]

36. Sorry to hear that. What did you want to be?

[bikebloke]

73. As a kid, an oceanographer

Out of high school, I thought an air traffic controller would be useful. I was a communitarian before I knew what one was, or that I was even one.

But my current cube ratting isn't so bad. I'm involved with creativity. And I wear shorts and sandals in the office during the warm months.

[NJmaverick]

80. Shorts and sandals, that sounds great

[abq e streeter]

37. No, no, and worse

Not sure what I expected; do know at least some of what I wanted, ,and this definitely isn't it. So its different; from what ? I don't know exactly, but it was all supposed to be much better than this. And the worst part, is that I have no one to blame but myself....I actually had a PM exchange recently with someone here where I opened up to her about my sense of having "thrown it all away" ...I hoped, thought ,and assumed I'd have a somewhat "normal "life; settled down, married with a family ,all that stuff, but for some reason, it just never happened...Never dreamed I'd allow off and on bouts with depression to overwhelm whatever potential I had,which was a considerable amount, both intellectually and creatively. Never had a specific dream except an absurd one about becoming a rock star ( ironically this is the only one I even came within a mile of), but figured with my god/goddess given intelligence I'd be a successful professor or lawyer or...some kind of successful professional, considering I graduated from an academically high level high school at 16, and went off to another academically high level college where my buddies pretty much all became wildly successful ( best friend won a Pulitzer writing for the NY Times, another friend became White House Chief of Staff etc). But instead I floundered without self-discipline or focus and in my mid-50's I look back on a life of half- assed "musician jobs" while rarely being more than a part time player and not even achieving a level that friends with no more talent than I, have achieved. I guess some people could look at it as sort of romantic; playing bars and roadhouses in places like Algodones, Silver City (NM), Telluride , Santa Fe, and of course Albuquerque, but its been empty more often than not.( Not saying there haven't been some great, wild times too, and have met,and even played with, musical heroes , especially in blues,that I would have never dared to dream I'd get to meet, much less play with) Sorry to be a downer, but well, you asked and I answered honestly. I guess its easier to open up to strangers anonymously ; most of my friends don't even know the extent of my disappointment in my life. Not looking for any "pity" replies either. I'm well aware that 99.9% of the people on the planet have it infinitely rougher than I do.

[NJmaverick]

40. There is no reason you improve on your situation, is there?

:pals:

[abq e streeter]

41. if you're anywhere near my age, you know that options start narrowing drastically

I'm quite sure at 57, that I'm not going to become a rock star ( nor for that matter, an outfielder for the Cubs, although with Soriano and Milton Bradley out there...).Similarly the odds of settling down and having a family and/or "professional" career have become pretty remote. At least I can proudly say I'm a realist, and do accept the fact of narrowed possibilities. It just sucks that I threw away all this potential...

[charlie and algernon]

38. I hope I'm getting there

Some days I wonder why I haven't changed the world yet, but then I remember I'm just in my mid-20s. So it's ok that I'm still on the bottom rungs of the ladder. Of course I may get a job offer on Monday that will by a rung or two above where I am now.

[NJmaverick]

39. Good luck with that, I hope you get it.

:hi:

[Doc_Technical]

42. I don't recall ever having expectations.

All that I ever wanted was food to eat, clothes to wear,
a roof over my head and some form of amusement.
Somehow I ended up married to someone who cares more
for me than I do and I find that fact to be a miracle.
All things considered, I've done very well for someone
who had no goals or ambitions.

[NJmaverick]

51. Good for you!

[crim son]

43. Jesus Christ no.

Missed that boat.

[NJmaverick]

52. Can there be another boat?

[crim son]

63. I have no intention of drowning

so I guess, yes.

[tigereye]

44. happy, healthy, with house, healthy kid and work I enjoy for the most part

I don't know that I could have imagined how interesting my life was going to be, and that things would work out so well... I couldn't have guessed that I would know so many interesting and cool people, I suppose.


On edit, as a Catholic school girl in the 60s, I thought I would be a nun or missionary, and obviously that did not occur. ;)

[NJmaverick]

53. I am happy things have worked out so well for you

[tigereye]

81. well, thanks, it's all a matter of perspective, I think, and then realizing when

you need a change and taking action to obtain what you want. :)

[quakerboy]

46. no, refused, and yes

I was named after "Jesus, our lord and savior". So... not so much

My childhood goal was to be a super villain daylighting as a super sleuth. So... not so far as any of you need ever know.

MY more adult goal was to be happy. I am pretty happy.

[blueamy66]

47. No

I have a degree in Justice Studies, but cannot use it because of a DUI.

I live with a man who pays an exorbitant amount of child support, which will end in less than a year.

Maybe I'll be where I want to be in a few more years.

[femmocrat]

49. Welcome to DU, blueamy66!

Hope to see you in the Lounge often. :hi:

And I hope your personal life works out for you.

[blueamy66]

78. Thank you for the welcomes.

:fistbump:

[NJmaverick]

54. Welcome and good luck with things

:hi:

[Strong Atheist]

75. Welcome to DU!

:toast:

[femmocrat]

50. Hell, NO. I expected to be retired by now.

I want to retire. I am ready to retire. I have been teaching my entire adult life. I'm burned out.

I would love to hand over my responsibilities to some bright, energetic young teacher who needs the job and a chance to start his/her life.

If I had health care upon retirement, I would go right now.

[NJmaverick]

55. Well I hope you get to enjoy that retirement soon

[femmocrat]

95. Thank you. It all depends on health care.

Amazing what a domino effect it would have -- if we were to get it. Doesn't anyone in Congress understand this?!!

I'm sure there are many, many others in the same (or similar) boat. It would be a different country if we got rid of the health care albatross.

[rug]

56. I am not yet Aquaman.

[Robeson]

57. I thought I'd be a popular black jazz musician by now...

...but I've always set my goals too high.

[NJmaverick]

66. Are you at least working as a musician?

[Robeson]

74. Yes, I'm a musician by hobby....

...but not being black is my first stumbling block.

[Maccagirl]

58. No.

I'm where I feared I'd be.

[NJmaverick]

77. Where is that?

[BarenakedLady]

59. At different points in my life, I've wanted different things

So it is hard to answer that question.

I'm facing huge changes in my life. My train's jumped onto a new track. I have no idea what lays (lies?) ahead.

[NJmaverick]

70. Hopefully it's a better station

[bluedigger]

60. I'm just enjoying the ride!

Never felt like there was stuff I had to do, just things that held my attention for a while. Started with nothing and have managed to double it! Life is good!

[GReedDiamond]

61. The state of the World is a lot different, unfortunately, for the worse...

...but I'm doing various versions (commercial, non-commercial, and otherwise) of what I envisioned before I was the age of ten: Art/Music.

For better, or worse, with a gradual upward curve toward the "better."

Edited for spelling

[RiffRandell]

62. I never knew what I wanted.

Yeah, everyone wants wealth, success and happiness. I never finished college but went back a year ago, and still don't know what I want to do, at 39. I think I would be happy volunteering for several organizations. I was fortunate enough to marry a great guy (he's not perfect, but I love him, although we do fight sometimes, and he travels all the time and we have no family close to help) but he has a great job and makes decent money where I can be home with my kids (my daughter will go to preschool in the fall, son is going into 3rd grade). I wish I finished college when my parents were paying for it, but back then I thought I knew everything and frankly, was lazy. I am proud of the way I am raising my kids---they are very sensitive to people, nature and the environment----which is extremely important to us. My husband is in 3 years in remission of stage 3 cancer, so health is the most important. I have chronic pain issues, but I can deal.

The answer after my long rant---no, but I am happy.

[NJmaverick]

69. Well happiness is a good one

[Texasgal]

64. I am a n RN

Which is exactly what I envisioned as a young girl.

I only wish I had the chutzpah to have gone through medical school.

I'm pretty content though.

[NJmaverick]

68. That's pretty good. I guess you could always split the difference

and go for LPN or PA, couldn't you?

[Texasgal]

71. Not at this age baby...

I am way to old and too damn cranky!!! LOL!

[blueamy66]

79. You're never too old.

You'll want it more now. Go for it.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

65. Not even remotely close

And I doubt that I ever will be. This past decade has been horrible and has shattered most, if not all, of my dreams and aspirations. I could never have imagined that I'd be where I am now in my worst nightmares ten years ago.

[NJmaverick]

67. I am very sorry to hear that

if you don't mind my asking, what has happened to so badly derail your life?

[mvd]

85. Sorry about that, RFK

I thought my situation was bad. At least my parents can help me for a while longer. Hope everything gets better for you.

[carlyhippy]

72. I wanted to be a music producer, but never made it....

oh well....too late now....

[conscious evolution]

76. No.But

I am where I need to be.
Man plans but the gods decide.

[rebel with a cause]

82. When I was a little girl I dreamed of

being old, broke, lonely, disabled and without hope. Then I would wake up and think that couldn't happen to me.

So no I am not where I expected to be, only where I was in my nightmares. Excect for the ones when I was five where I was being roasted over a fire on a pitchfork by the devil. Maybe that is yet to come. :rofl:

[NJmaverick]

86. At least you have your sense of humor

:hi:

[dixiegrrrrl]

83. That is a great question !

I am where I wanted to be, but did not think it would really turn out this well.
Have "just enough" of what I need, ( something the greedy rich folks seem to lack)
and living in a happy place.
It is always nice when the insides and the outsides match, don't ya think?

[NJmaverick]

87. yes it is

:toast:

[mvd]

84. No

I feel time is running out for me to get into something - I do have my grandmother's inheritance coming, but I don't know when. And my parents will get much of that. Yet I'm confused as to what to do.

[yy4me]

89. At age 67, I have to say that all the things I thought would come

at this age are lost forever.

My husband and I worked for 45 years to get to a point in our lives where we thought we could retire and drift off together to exotic places. Not to be and hard to adjust to. My wonderful husband died of a stroke almost a year ago. A huge loss from which I will never recover.

Six months ago, I was laid off and at my age, expectations are shot to heck.

I can hardly stand to look for a job because, plain and simple, I am getting to the point where a long day tires me out. Add to that, there seems to be nothing out there for me with my dated skills.

I never in a million years would have expected life to wind down the way it has. I am at a loss without my other half. He was my rock.

I'm not a believer in the hereafter but if I was, I'd give it all up to be with my husband in the exotic places of our dreams.

[abq e streeter]

90. Just read your post and not that this probably means much,

but as just another stranger out here in cyberland, I really want to express my sympathies for your loss of your beloved husband, and my best wishes to you that the future holds more happiness and enjoyment than you see it having as of right now. Sorry for the awkwardness of my words; I just wanted to wish you the best.......abq e streeter

[NJmaverick]

92. sorry to hear that

:hug:

[femmocrat]

94. I'm so sorry, yy4me.

(Everything I tried to type here sounded stupid and I erased them.)

It's just all so unfair. :cry: :hug:

[triguy46]

91. No. I'm a lot less happy than I expected, even though I've made more money than I thought I would.

I'd trade some $ for some peace of mind, and not having to do what has to be done to be paid. That said, I don't put much weight in what I thought about anything when I was young.

[Richard Steele]

96. Loaididng the DVD right now. nm

[Strong Atheist]

97. No. Sometimes life does not work out the way one could

hope...

[Muttocracy]

98. Nope, nope, thanks for rubbing it in.

:cry:

[dysfunctional press]

99. yeah- i always dreamed of being permanently disabled by age 38...

the chronic pain thing is just icing on the cake.

beside that, i'm not where i WANTED to be, but i guess i am pretty much where i expected to be. :shrug:

[NJmaverick]

100. Sorry to hear that

[raccoon]

101. In a much lower level job than I expected/wanted to be. Haven't had benefits

for years, which I would've expected.

On the plus side, I'm happily underemployed, and have wherewithal to keep me out of poverty.

[raccoon]

102. "The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story,

and writes another..."

J.M. BARRIE, The Little Minister

One of my favorite quotes. It seemed appropriate for this thread.

[NJmaverick]

103. That's a pretty good quote, thanks for sharing

:hi: