Yes, Sapphocrat and I are having problems...

[foreigncorrespondent]

...but early this morning CA time, we began talking for the first time in a few days. We are trying to work through the problems.

People who are in long distance relationships will understand the kind of pressure a couple goes through. But when the distance is between countries where one needs a passport, lots of money and a visitors visa in order to see the love of their life, the pressure is truly greater.

Sapphocrat lost her job in December of 2000, when the dot com industry crashed. She has not been able to land a job since.

I am currently not working, but am trying to improve my employment chances by getting certified in something I already know very well, thanks largely to Sapphocrat for believing in me, and showing me I can achieve anything when I set my mind to it.

So because neither of us is employed at this time, our chances of seeing each other are greatly reduced.

Sapph and I have not seen each other since she left last year after visiting here for a month. And that trip was thanks to an annonymous benefactor who paid for it. We were talking about moving to Canada this year, getting married, settling down, and finally beginning our much awaited life together. Unfortunately Sapphs mother got very sick New Years eve last year. Since that time her mothers health has been up and down like a yo-yo.

As you can imagine, it is pretty hard on me when my furture mother inlaw is very sick. Being a great distance from Sapph I cannot always judge properly her moods, or how she is coping with the situation she finds herself in. Because I am unable to judge properly I panic, and that panic causes problems with us.

The pressure of worrying about me mum inlaw, the love of my life, and of course the usual worry of when will we see each other again, when will we begin our life together, etc, will end up coming to a point where it blows. When that happens, I will more often than not make a mistake. That happened this time. Only this time, it was the biggest mistake of my life.

I am just lucky that Sapph loves me enough to be willing to try and talk things through properly. Not many people have that kind of patience and understanding.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone who has dropped me PM's and emails of encouragement, during the past couple of days. You guys will truly never know how much your words help, because thank you, just isn't enough.

I am also sorry, that I have been wallowing in my own self pitty for the last couple of days and bringing it here to DU. I hope you all can forgive me.

Now back to your regular scheduled program.

[papau]

1. Venting in the Lounge is expected - and it is nice to hear that things are

looking up for you both. Now all we need is Kerry's election and some jobs!

:toast:

:-)

[foreigncorrespondent]

5. Ahhh!

The dems have got it in the bag. :toast:

[DS1]

2. If you're like me and sometimes completely fuck up what you're

trying to say because of haste and or emotions - don't be afraid to step back and formulate the right response - is the only advice I can offer you.

[foreigncorrespondent]

4. Yep!

That is me alright! But usually by the time I realize what I have said (usually over IM's) was so totally fucked up to what I wanted to try and say, it is usually too late.

But, I am being a good Aussie tonight. Sapph and I plan on talking more later today, and I have been taking notes on the areas I want to touch so hopefully I won't screw it all up again.

[kckc]

3. I'm glad you felt you could say something to us out here...

I am in the exact situation- I'm here, he's there, one of us is long-term unemployed with a huge amount of elderly parent and family member health issues. I know how exhausting it is trying to read the tea leaves to figure out what is going on at any given time. Hang in there. :hug:

[foreigncorrespondent]

6. Yep!

Really hard and really exhausting.

Thank you for your words of encouragement, my friend.

[gator_in_Ontario]

7. Hello!

Glad to hear you 2 are talking again anyway....
and believe me I understand. Absense makes the heart grow fonder, my ass! Absense is heartbreaking and can be paralyzing...especially if there is little or no light at the end of the tunnel.
And I know my wife and I had it easier than you two..I could've walked to Canada if necessary...and unfortunately the aussie/us bridge is still in the planning stages. I actually had a dream once when snobird and I were apart that I rode a horse up here! It took about 3 weeks....but I'm rambling now...
the biggest pisser by far, is that straight bi-national couples don't have to put up with nearly the amount of BS we do...or at least not the same BS.

[foreigncorrespondent]

12. Hi, hon.

Yep! That absense makes the heart grow stronger is bullshit. It ain't true.

No the straight binats don't go through the shit we do. They know they have the option of immigration if they choose that route, we don't even have that option.

I was talking to a straight woman who was in an LDR with some guy in Germany once. She had the nerve to turn around and tell me that anyone in a relationship with a person from a foreign country, if they aren't together, then they chose to live it separate and that I shouldn't be complaning. It is unreal how much people really do lack knowledge of their own countries laws.

And the dreams happen with me too, hon. The most recent one I had which was a couple months ago now, I dreamt I decided to swim all the way back to San Francisco. LOL

[CanuckAmok]

8. We're in the same boat, FC.

I'll keep hanging in there if you do.

Cheers,
CA

[foreigncorrespondent]

13. Hang in there, my friend.

I am. With support like you, how could I not? :hug:

[Rowdyboy]

9. You're in a tough situation but it won't last forever....

Being on different continents, with financial/career worries and an ill parent/in law makes for a nightmare situation. It would be hard enough if you guys were physically together; being separated just makes a bad situation worse.

Try to talk it out; EVERYONE makes mistakes, some of us are just better at minimizing the damage we cause. That she knows you well and loves you is a strong indication you can work through it.

I wish you both well.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

10. i am so very sorry

about you and saphocrat. let me know if theres anything i can do.

love

pri

[SarahB]

11. You both are in such a tough situation

But you do love enough so much and have been through so much, I'll bet you can work it out. Relationships are never easy and long distance ones are tough even in the best of situations. I suppose though just being so far apart inherently makes it not the best of situations, but I'll be thinking about you both and wish the best for the two of you regardless. :hug:

[JanMichael]

14. Stick with it;

(this is Stephanie typing on Michael's name again)

We had to live apart for 6 months, and I thought that was going to kill me---I cannot imagine what you all are going through.

You are one of my favorite DUers...I honestly think you two can hang together through this crap, and be a happy couple in the end. It is so worth it!

Wish I could do or say something to make things better for you both...here's a cyber hug from me and Michael!

Stephanie