So I've Got This Friend Who Just Won't Shut UP!

[arwalden]

Babble, babble, babble, babble, babble! Never lets up for a second. Who knew that so many words could be spoken without taking a breath?

I'm not sure what's more annoying... the fact that I can rarely participate in the "conversation" (other than uh-huh, and oh-really)... or the fact that I've heard half of it at LEAST once already... or the fact that most of the people in the stories I don't know--will never know--and don't care to know.

I hate avoiding people... I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. I guess there's no polite way to say "shut up, shut UP, SHUT UP!" without being rude.

-- Allen

[terrya]

1. I dated a sweet man like that.

This was years ago. Randy (the guy I dated) was the sweetest guy. But, the same thing that you talked about. Randy wouldn't SHUT UP. Yak, yak, yak, yak. All the time, it seemed. There were times I couldn't wait to leave and go home...because Randy was just getting on my nerves.

Randy and I didn't always have conversations...a lot of the times they were monologues...Randy talking and talking, me listening.

No, my friend. There is no polite way to tell someone to "SHUT UP< SHUT UP< SHUT UP".

I wish there were.

Terry

[7th_Sephiroth]

2. do what i do

punch him in the face

[pagerbear]

3. Well, since you're clearly not a part of the "conversation"

...find other ways to amuse yourself. Pull out a book and start reading it. Walk away. Or avoid him/her altogether.

[BlueJazz]

4. Make a recording of his long-winded "speeches

and play it back to him/her.

[Fleshdancer]

5. I try to find a comfortable way to make my point

I'll say something like: "okay, hold on a sec. You're saying more than I'm able to proccess" or "sloooooow dooooown" or when it gets really annoying: "okay sweetie, it's been 10 solid minutes, now it's my turn to talk".

For me, the pet peeve is when I'm interupted. It's a sign that the person I'm talking to isn't listening so I'm pretty blunt and I'll call them on it.

[Whitacre D_WI]

6. Sorry, Allen.

Thank you for bringing that to my attention. I shall stop talking now, and allow you to make your point. :)

[Lindsey]

15. Due to situations like the one you described and other equally

irritating encounters, I have very slowly and gently let some friendships go witout being incredibly obvious. What's worked for me is I don't return their calls in a timely manner (I normally wait a few days), and when I do call back, I call when they aren't home. I leave a msg. saying this: "Hey there, I'm calling you back, hope things are going well and I'll talk to you later. Take care." Why do I do bother? #1 I don't want to have a big blowout (often times we all have friends in common and a blowout makes it very ackward at social events - therefore, in many situations it's impossible to be completely honest to the person in queston). If they continue calling and ask to get together, I normally have plans.

[asthmaticeog]

7. I recently broke up with someone kind of like that

She was sweet, smart, funny, creative, ridiculously cute, but her inability to let a silence stand eventually drove me so far up the friggin' wall I had to break it off or I would have freaked out on her. It was to the point where she'd absentmindedly read every single road sign out loud when we were driving, or start solo-chattering about something inane when I was deeply immersed into something I was reading. I liked her a lot, but it got to be a total chore to be around her because of this one thing. I feel your pain, arwalden.

[MrScorpio]

8. When he goes over shit you already heard

Say his words with him

He should get the message

[Melsky]

9. Duct tape

Just make sure to leave the nostrils free so your friend won't suffocate.

[Nikia]

10. Try to find a point to get in the conversation

Find something that your friend is saying that you could relate to a story of your own. It doesn't matter if you really wanted to tell your story but it will get the conversation back to you. The you can say what you wanted when you transition from your story. You may also see if the stories that your friend tell are trying to relate a point that is important to your friend. Some people have deep emotional things that they want to get out but don't feel comfortable saying such things directly so they tell stories relating to those themes. The people that he talks about might not be people you care about but he might care about them very much. If those people are no longer with him physically or emotionally, talking about them might help him deal with that. If you are generally a quiet person too, he might feel the need to talk because some people are uncomfortable with silence. These are just my thoughts on that. Persoanlly, I like friends who talk as long as they let me talk too.

[pagerbear]

13. I tried that with a talker

After 20 minutes of his blathering I tried to steer the conversation so that we would both participate, but he started up just where he'd left off in his story, probably cursing me for interrupting him. It was then I decided I didn't want another date with him.

[HEyHEY]

11. I had to find out this way!

You could have told me nicely ;-)

[ScreamingMeemie]

12. Instead of uh huh and oh really I have taken to saying, "Yes you were

saying that the other day." Or," I remember you mentioned that last week." Sometimes it works, others not so much. Good luck Allen. :hi:

[SheWhoMustBeObeyed]

14. I love my friend who's like that, but so glad she moved out of town

She is a smart, funny person and a solid friend to friends in need, but she has to fill all the available air. Now that she's moved I can let the machine get it when I don't feel like listening, and when we do connect I can play computer games while she blabs.

[arwalden]

16. Speaking Of Answering Machine... My Friend Talks Until The Beep

then he calls back to leave a follow-up message to finish the sentence.

AAAaaaaahhh!

-- Allen

[Cleita]

17. It won't make a difference. S/he won't hear you or notice.

People who talk with incessant chatter can't listen. I had to work with someone like that once and the only way I got anything done was to tune her out. She wasn't even aware of the fact I wasn't listening.