What to do if you miss the rapture

[boobooday]

I've been browsing the right wing sites (I know, I know, but it's research).

I came across this handy Q & A for those who miss the rapture.

http://www.raptureready.com/rap49.html

That's right, it's all at raptureready.com! Don't be left behind!



http://www.wgoeshome.com

[Blue-Jay]

1. When the rapture comes, I get my neighbor's car!

Hurry up, Jeebus! I've always wanted a Vette.

[KissMyAsscroft]

2. From the site...

"It would be foolish for me to try to guess what authorities will be telling the general population."



>Yeah, that would be pretty foolish.

[Mr. Socko]

3. Thanks for mocking my religious beliefs.

I greatly appreciate it.

[Terran]

17. Linking the site = equals mocking your beliefs?

How? Embarassed?

[ithacan]

4. here's an interesting bit:

Do Not Trust Christian Leaders

In the coming days, you will see and hear messages from some of the biggest names in Christendom on radio and TV, and these messages won't be ones recorded before the rapture. The broadcasts you'll be hearing will be either live or taped after the rapture. They will be from Christian leaders who have also been left behind.

Millions of people will be reassured by the fact that their favorite Christian celebrities are still here on earth. I expect most of these well-known leaders, possibly out of embarrassment, will be working feverishly to disprove the rapture event. They may say things like, "I don't know where or why those people disappeared, but I will tell you this: That was not the so-called rapture of the Church."

I'm sure it will be quite confusing to hear people who were regarded as the leading authorities on the pre-tribulation rapture now proclaiming contradictory theories. Don't listen to them, no matter how well respected they appear.

Many religious and political leaders will attempt to persuade you into believing some logical explanation for the rapture. All of their lies will be contrary to the Word of God. Remember, they were left behind just like you; what business do they have instructing you?

[Indiana_Dem]

11. Oh dear, I think they're already being misled.

I really feel sorry for those that think they'll escape any tribulation unlike all those that have had to endure persecution before them.:think:

[scottcsmith]

5. I'm going to hell, probably

Although, and I've been telling people this for years, if there is an anti-Christ, and you are required to accept the "mark" of the beast, DO NOT ACCEPT IT! Yes, you'll be shot and killed, BUT, rejecting the mark will probably put you in God's good graces. And that sounds better than spending eternity burning in hell. Even though I don't believe in hell.

[dolo amber]

6. The GOOD news is..

I realize this web page will be addressing two audiences: those of you who read this page before the rapture and those of you who read it after the rapture.

...At least we'll still have the internet! :D :bounce:

[Elidor]

16. And we won't have to worry about being saved anymore!

Partytime! Break out the booze, fire up a stogie, eat lots of sour cream and everybody get nekkid!
:party:
The real rapture will be here on earth, once all the fundies are gone!
:bounce:

[radfringe]

7. ummm...apologize for being late and

ask to reschedule?

[saskatoon]

9. Radfringe

That was brilliant, I laughed so hard I nearly fell out of my chair!

[jus_the_facts]

8. frolic in the autumn mist with puff the magic dragon.....

:eyes:

[camero]

10. Hate to tell them

But there's supposed to be a falling away of the church(organized religion twists Jesus' teachings) before the rapture. Which means I don't think the fundies are going.

[neebob]

12. People are supposed to disappear?

Wow! I had no idea. See, I was raised Mormon, so I had a totally different scenario that wasn't called The Rapture and didn't involve people disappearing, or I didn't think it did. I remember something about people being "quickened" and ascending to heaven and something about the twinkling of an eye. I thought they'd go all sparkly or something before they went up. And I've never been clear on the sequence of events. I had the impression there was supposed to be this horrible all-out war first. This sounds like all of sudden one day, all these people will disappear. Is that a common belief?

[Autumn]

13. Start a used car lot

With all those cars that will be in the middle of the road.

[Indiana_Dem]

14. Here are 2 sites some people posted lastnight:

http://www.geocities.com/nomoonies1/1/

http://www.askelm.com/doctrine/d760201.htm

The first link talks about Tim LeHaye (Left Behind book series) and his and other evangelists connections to Rev. Moon.

The other is a site that talks about the origins of the rapture.

They were both pretty good if you're into researching the subject.

[northofdenali]

15. Gosh, Alaska already has 1.1 persons per square mile...

as of the 2000 census..........

I'll celebrate! More room! Less fundies, more freedom!
Pary time :party::toast::party:

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

18. Declare myself King of Western New York

and build a castle out of their abandonded crap.

[jmowreader]

19. This one's kinda interesting

During the next few years, a world leader--whom the Bible calls the Antichrist--will arise. At first, he will seem like the most benevolent leader who has ever held office. However, by the end of the tribulation, he will easily put the likes of Hitler and Stalin to shame. Because the lies of the Antichrist and false prophets will be so pervasive, you will need to assume that everything you read and hear in the mass media is tainted doctrine. Your only source for the truth must now exclusively come from the Bible.

Does that sound like anyone we know?

[SarahB]

20. Well I suppose since I'd know I was damned

I toss morality out the window and just be really, really bad. :evilgrin: