women of du: tells us your, um, flatulence stories!

[unblock]

mrs. unblock can't fart at work. just can't bring herself to do it.

i never understood that. gas is not produced in the testicles. everybody does it. the alternative would be exploding.

so is it painful to hold it? do you hide it, sneak it, blame someone else? do you go to the bathroom just to fart?

let us know, and please let mrs. unblock know what to do when the pressure starts to build by 9am and she doesn't get off work until 5pm!!

[Red State Rebel]

1. What ever gave you the idea that women have flatulence? I never do!

[unblock]

2. i'll chalk up one vote for 'does it and denies it'

[Ellen Forradalom]

3. I do, but mine smell like daffodils

[unblock]

5. i see. so what do daffodils smell like, then?

[Catch22Dem]

11. ass apparently

;) hehehe

[boobooday]

4. Women Don't Fart. Got it?

http://www.wgoeshome.com

[Droopy]

6. Women fart?

There's a new one on me. I thought that was strictly a man thing. I thought women were immune to gas.

Yeah, I guess they would have to. I guess it's like the leaves coming out in spring. You know it happens you just don't know how and when.

BTW. I expect it to remain a mystery. I bet you get no female responses to this post. Too bad, it's potentially funny.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

7. This is slightly off topic, but it seems to be a good place for this...

I posted this the other day and got no responses. This is the single most hilarious thing I've ever read in my life. Hope you like it too!


http://www.nvrha.com/cgi-bin/config.pl?read=251


Oh, I fart, and I'm not ashamed of it! I just don't do it in public. At home, all bets are off!

[Droopy]

12. That truly had me laughing out loud!

Very funny story.

[Career Prole]

10. Okay...I'm a man but I have a woman fart story.

I was on a crowded elevator with my future ex-wife (this incident had nothing to do with it...she ran off with the propane delivery truck driver)...at any rate, she fired off a rowdy rip. Before I could even think "Wow! How embarrassing for her!", she whacked me on the shoulder and stage-whispered loudly and disapprovingly "Richard!!"
The remaining moments of that ten floor descent were some of the longest of my life. My ears very nearly combusted.
A word of warning, though. Don't try this at home unless you're absolutely certain he's a gentleman. It could backfire on you if he yells out "Yo! Courtesy flush!" before you can play your card.
:D

Edited because damn if I didn't misspell "man"...

[WatchWhatISay]

8. Why?

?

[snippy]

9. Perhaps you should buy Mrs. Unblock this book.

Availability: Usually ships within 1-2 business days

44 used & new from $3.99

Edition: Paperback

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/089804801X/104-3128763-2929567?v=glance

[peekaloo]

13. when no one is around I'll unleash a barking spider

although I have learned NEVER to eat bananas when I'm going to be in the presence of others. Bananas seem to have an afterlife of their own.

btw I sometimes do contract work in an office with a man who is hard of hearing and what he thinks are silent rumbles have been known to rattle the windows.

[NewHampster]

14. My 8th grade english teacher used to leave

those little freeps. the serious stinkies that only boys could hear her lay. then she'd be gone to the other side of the room before anyone smelt it.

women don't fart.

[DeposeTheBoyKing]

15. My mom, God rest her soul,

used to walk through the grocery store emitting little blips with every other step. She couldn't help it. I'd walk behind her talking constantly to cover for her.

[unblock]

17. now THAT's love!

[Nikia]

16. I don't fart enough

I feel rather ill when I have gas but it won't come out for several hours. Yes, I do expand several inches when this happens. For some reason, I cannot find much information on this topic on the web. Some people probably wish that they had this problem but it is no fun.

[unblock]

18. yes, the internet stinks for researching farts

and you really have to sift through a whole lot of crap if you actually want to learn about crap, too....

[SarahB]

19. For ladies, they don't always involve the digestive system

:P

[rumguy]

20. the queef huh?

[SarahB]

21. Don't be crude

I meant silly armpit noises! :P

[rumguy]

22. lol

sure ya did