Has anyone ever been through this before?

[Th1onein]

I am not sure who I am anymore. I have worn too many hats.

I have been almost everything under the sun. I have never broken the law, in terms of licenses, but I have used my abilities to assimilate information, and to use that information appropriately, as I see fit.

I have noticed, lately, quite often, that people define themselves by the occupations that they use to get the money that they need to pay their bills. And I think it is sad that they do that. Don't you?

I mean, you introduce someone, and you have to say their name, and what they DO to make a dollar, right? How crass! We are much more than that.

I am much more than that, in fact.

Aren't you?

So why do I feel like I am not sure who I am anymore? Is it me? Or is it, in fact, that I am just perfectly what I should be, and my world is making me feel like shit about that fact? Is it that I am just naturally a curious person who has chosen to inform themself of various facts, in various fields, that have presented themself to me, as objects of curiousity, in the course of my life?

Or is it that I should be defined solely by what I do to put food on the table?

[mopinko]

1. try being an artist

and a mom. yup, it sucks.

[unblock]

2. your job is more than how you put food on your table

that's one side of the trade. the other side of the trade is that your job is how you make your contribution to society.

of course, there are other means of making a contribution, but simply put, the fireman doesn't just put fires out in order to put food on his table. he helps society by putting out fires.

nowadays our economy is complex and some jobs are hard to explain in terms of how society is benefitting, but ultimately there is some benefit to all worthwhile jobs.

and that's a key part of who you are. you're the guy people can count on to help them with their taxes, or to make their clothes, or to build their houses. or, in my case, to turn their accounts receivables into securities. like i said, some jobs are harder to explain....


anyway, if you feel society is more benefitted by your volunteer work or your church singing or your wonderful family, then by all means, when you introduce yourself, leave your job out of it and describe yourself by those avocations instead.

[Th1onein]

10. That is the point that I was making, don't you see?

I do not want to be defined by what I make a living at. And that is what society requires.

[mdmc]

3. well, for what it is worth

i ALWAYS WANTED TO Earn a Doctorate degree in Divinity, so that I could be introduced as Michael, Doctor of Divinity. It just don't get no better. :~)

ps...
Sometimes people introduce me as a real live Howard Dean supporter.

[ewagner]

4. Yes, I've been there

and I'm going through it again.

It sucks..............

[ret5hd]

5. sound like you.ve been reading sartre's "being and nothingness"...

stop that. it makes you think too much. i know. i've been there.

[Th1onein]

11. You mean that someone else has written about this thing, specifically?

Please send me the link?

[ret5hd]

15. "Being and Nothingness" is the classic text of...

existentialism, written by Jean-Paul Sartre in 1943, translated to english in 1956.

from the book-cover (my copy, anyway):
<snip>
Existentialism defends rebellion against authority and elevates as the most important of human values freedom of choice and the acceptance of responsibility for all personal decisions and actions.
</snip>

The book covers, philosophically, exactly the thoughts and feelings you describe, but also much, much more.

I am not going to claim that, after reading it, you will be any closer to an answer than you were before. Probably farther from it (the old "the more i know..." conundrum).

[camero]

6. What we should be asking

Why do we live in a society where people are so shallow that they judge others by how they make their money and how much money they make?

[BigMcLargehuge]

7. I'm a writer, a father, and a swordsman

(items placed in order by length of mastery). I never discuss what I do for work as an ice breaker, although it draws on the three above mentioned skills.

Assuming some fantastic propels my writing so that I can, in fact, make a living off of it without the needs for a 9-5, I will STILL call myself a writer.

It's not what you DO... It's what you ARE that's important.

[Th1onein]

12. Don't you think that you are DEFINED by what you do?

After all, what you DO at least takes some effort, right?

[BigMcLargehuge]

14. Yes, but you set the definition

What I do does take effort. But what I do for my daily bread is the least important part of my day. It's what I do for enjoyment or importance that makes me what I am.

[pagerbear]

8. I dread the question "What do you do?"

Partly because it's hard to explain*, and partly because although I'm good at it, it's so NOT me! But if I go deeper into it, I have the joy of explaining that I came to NYC to be an opera singer and failed at that, and by a series of circumstances found my way to my current job. I won't call it a career. It seems all of the things people use to introduce themselves with are things I wat to change in my life. Alas....



*Oh, and for the record, I do programming with typesetting languages for a financial printer. I make 401(k) statements.

[Terran]

9. Well, I'm proud of what I "do" and happy that I "do" it.

I work for a 100 year-old citizens' social welfare advocacy non-profit here in Missouri. It's a great deal more than what I do to just pay my bills.

I sympathize with your viewpoint, because I had a job a year and half ago that I hated. It's only people who don't enjoy what they do that feel the way you do.

Dirk

[Th1onein]

13. Aren't you the lucky one, then?

I suspect that many people flip burgers in order to support themselves, but moreover, to feed their children . How fortunate you are, to be in a job where you can follow your beliefs. Most of us have a hard time divining our beliefs, in "manufacturing" a fucking hamburger. How lucky for you that you have a job that allows you to look down on the rest of us, who have to discern the deeper meaning of a hamburger to have meaning to our life.

[Terran]

17. I don't quite know how to replty to that

but I think you sort of proved my point. Obviously you hate flipping burgers, and you personally find no meaning in that. But my point was, all work has meaning and fulfillment for someone, it just depends on who you are. I don't see any reason to express such jealousy of me just because I have a job that I love and that fulfills me. I know there are people who would love to have your job and would actually enjoy it. Obviously, you are destined for some other type of work.

And where did you get the idea that I look down on other people, just because I have a job I enjoy? Sure, it's a blessing, but it doesn't make me better than anyone. There's nobility in labor, no matter what you do. When I said that it's 'only people who hate their jobs who feel the way you do,' I was referring to feeling that it's a negative to defined by your work (that was the whole point of this thread). Of course, if your work is a negative thing for you, then being defined by that is negative too; if it's a positive, then it's positive to be defined that way. This is not judging anyone, it's just common sense.

So chill out, please.

[Djinn]

16. Not True

For the last couple of years I've really enjoyed what I do and being in the non profit sector I'm ethically at peace with it - my last job was making money for a rich right wing tosser who drove a car that was literally worth more than my (rented) house - but I also find the question annoying, like a poster above partly because it's not overly easy to explain but also because the question is usually framed "what do you do?" not "what do you do for a living ?" and while I like my job and find it worth while it's not ALL I do.

I usually answer with something along the lines of "eat drink and be merry" given it's often asked at parties

[amazona]

18. you're wrong about that

My friend who is a professional gambler and one of the best known and who would not wish to do anything else -- even as a boy, he said it was his dream to do this -- does not appreciate being asked what he "does." He was just complaining about this the other day.

People ask what you "do" because they want to figure out how much money you have and how you can be pigeon-holed. Simple as that.

You can enjoy and be proud of your job, and still feel it is no one else's business when you are meeting people socially.

My friend dislikes being hit up for money and "tips" because of what he does. As a writer, I VERY MUCH dislike being hit up for "tips" because I know that people starting out today, who do not move in publishing circles, are not going to get their work read unless they are celebrities. Period. So telling people how I got started as a writer two decades ago is giving them the wrong idea. They think, "Well, she's not so much and she can do it," and then they just feel worse when they fail. The world has moved on. I stopped teaching writing classes a decade ago because of this. And I've started telling people I'm retired. It's none of their business how I make a buck and I'm damn tired of talking about it.

Doesn't mean I'm tired of doing it or ashamed of doing it.

It means that how I make a buck is between me and my editors/readers -- not every Joe Blow I meet at a party.

Even Miss Manners says it's rude to ask people what they "do." It is the mark of the money and class obsessed.