What do you think when you ask someone a straight up question

[Tuesday Afternoon]

on a message board (include PM's and emails) and they reply, but do not answer the question?

[noamnety]

1. I try to remember that life is a dialog

not an interrogation.

We're under no obligation to answer questions for any reason on a message board, whether it bores us, we find it irrelevant to the point we're trying to make, we find it personal, or we just don't like the tone the poster took when they asked it - or any other reason.

Sometimes we forget that we can't just order people around like they are all our children. Heidi quoted her mother in another thread today "Lotsa people want lotsa things." I love that quote for the simplicity of it. You can ask a question and want an answer to it, but you own that desire, not the other person.


Once on another board someone asked me a question in a debate, I was researching and typing that answer and that takes me a while. When I finally posted it, I saw she had asked another question - and then threw an online temper tantrum because 15 minutes had passed and I hadn't answered her new question yet - like I was her employee and she had given me an order. It was weird and controlling behavior, not to mention it's online - I could have simply logged off to make dinner or something. I marked her down as psycho and put her on ignore. (If someone is doing that to you, you might want to put them on ignore as well.)

[DeepBlueC]

24. that is a great answer

I am seriously impressed. :hi:

[Kali]

2. I think: avoidance

of course I wanted to do what you described and ramble out some nonsense that didn't answer your question:rofl:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

4. I tend to agree with this although

noamnety's answer gave me pause for thought.

[Kali]

7. yeah

kind of topic/person dependent - if NO reply there are plenty of possibilities, if question was complex or included with several others and only partially addressed it might need reasking

[Inchworm]

3. wtf

first

then re-ask

:shrug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

5. Sometimes I do re-ask. Sometimes, I don't.

:hi:

[Forkboy]

6. It's a regular occurance in the Sports Forum.

I've been trying to get some answers down there all night.

I think it shows that they either can't answer the question, won't answer the question, or they don't get the question and don't want to embarrass themselves by asking for clarification. :)

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. for whatever reason the avoid the question...

which is worse to avoid the question or to anwswer the question with a question? :shrug:

[Forkboy]

9. Don't you know?

Sorry, couldn't resist. :P

The answering with a question thing almost always seems like a total dodge to me. It reeks of intellectual dishonesty. That doesn't always apply, naturally, but it's what I think most of the time when it happens.

[Tangerine LaBamba]

10. Sometimes, questions are really demands,

and they're either out of line or completely impossible to fulfill. So, you ignore them, or you give a straight answer - which usually brings a nasty response.

Here's my experience with that sort of thing (I don't know if it's any help to you, but, hey, it's a story - of sorts):

Sometimes I find myself in an exchange with someone about a matter of government or law or both, usually involving current political matters. And I'll be involved in this exchange and I realize the other person has absolutely no knowledge of how government works, but is still making outrageous claims that are wholly without merit.

So I suggest that they might want to research, oh, let's say, what "legislative drafting" means and then find out exactly how laws are made.

What I get back is an assault on my legal competence, a reference to my parents having never married, and a suggestion that I should something anatomically impossible to myself. The idea that I will not give them at least two semesters of law school classes in a message board response simply enrages them.

So, now, I try to see those people coming from far away, and I just stay away.

Does that help?

[Robeson]

12. You're taking the Sports Forum far to seriously...

...it's usually dominated by a few people who simply use it as a means of sniping at each other.

[Forkboy]

13. I was being tongue in cheek.

[madinmaryland]

21. Heh! You got that right.

I think it's that the folks you are talking about are just afraid that if they answer the question, it will truly show their hypocrisy!

:D

[hibbing]

11. what was the nature of the question?

Hi,
I guess it depends on the nature of the question. If the person does not answer a simple question about something vanilla, I get annoyed. However if a person skips around a more philosophical/personal question I take it they don't want to talk about it and move on.

Do you think gender has a role in how people respond to this situation?

Peace

[RoyGBiv]

14. Depends on the nature of the question ...

In the context of a dialog, questions tend to be asked within a context, and the context is important.

I, personally, will not answer "strait up questions" based upon a false premise, nor leading questions, nor questions intended to deflect from a central point already under discussion.

Further, many simple questions do not have simple answers. I am most often accused of not answering questions because the questioner wanted a "yes" or a "no," and I have refused to give either because neither answer is sufficient.

On the other hand, I tend to view people who are asked direct questions that are pertinent to whatever is under discussion and refuse to answer them as dolts.

[rrneck]

15. Don't sweat it.

It seems to me that this is a pretty rarefied atmosphere. Most of the tools people use to talk to each other are stripped away and all we have is text on a page. I think we expect too much of our ability to communicate like this and miscommunications are more the rule than the exception. I try to exercise an extra measure of patience.

[surrealAmerican]

16. They might have misunderstood the question.

If I reread it, and can't figure out a way they might have misinterpreted the question, I'd just figure it's something they are not interested in answering.

[AngryAmish]

17. It might rain today

but most likely not.

[NJmaverick]

18. I figure the person doesn't want to answer the question

and I move on. Also possible they mised the question, but usually I prefer to take the safer approach that they didn't want to answer it.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

22. silly me...

for a moment I have to reflect and wonder WHY don't they want to answer that question. :D :hi:

[NJmaverick]

25. It really depends on the question

if it was odd not to answer, I will consider the reason. Otherwise I just accept it as just a normal part of interacting.

[In_The_Wind]

19. I rephrase the question.

I hate playin' cat and mouse. If ya got somethin' to say ~ spit it out!

:hi: :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

20. Hey You!!

:bounce: So good to see you! :woohoo:

:loveya: :hug: :hi:

[TrogL]

23. "that's nice, now answer the question"

If I think they're really dense, I'll repeat the question.