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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:18 PM
Original message
Am I a sucker?
I went to the bank today to deposit a check via the drive-through window. As I was filling out my deposit slip, a car pulled up alongside mine with a middle-aged woman and a young man in it. The woman told me they were on their way to Virginia, were almost out of gas, and needed money for tolls to get to their destination. She gave specific costs for the tolls, but I can't recall what they were...I only remember that I did not have the full amount of money she said they needed. They did not appear to be strung out on anything, so I gave them $10.

What would you have done?
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NJmaverick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:25 PM
Response to Original message
1. You did a good deed
there is always the possibility it was a sad scam, but why ruin it?
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theNotoriousP.I.G. Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:27 PM
Response to Original message
2. I would have done the same thing you did
ten bucks. Big whoop. It either got them closer to their destination or a few beers. Good for you.
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azmouse Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:30 PM
Response to Original message
3. It was the right thing to do.
Bless you.
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Tangerine LaBamba Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:46 PM
Response to Original message
4. What tolls?
Between where and Virginia?

The MD suburbs?

There are no tolls.

I think you got had.......
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madinmaryland Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 06:09 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. If they were going to Herndon, there are tolls on the Dulles Toll Road.
:shrug:

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Tangerine LaBamba Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 06:50 PM
Response to Reply #8
11. There are, but
ten bucks is more than the tolls.

How much did they ask you for?

I think you're lovely, I truly do................
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:01 PM
Response to Reply #11
25. She was asking for money for gas and tolls...
Edited on Mon Jul-27-09 10:22 PM by GoddessOfGuinness
I can't remember precisely how much the tolls were, but I think it was $15 or so. Then she said she was almost out of gas. I think she was looking for somewhere around $30.
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Tangerine LaBamba Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:47 PM
Response to Reply #25
31. No, no, no -
the tolls are a few bucks.

You're a sweet one, you are.

If you got taken, so what? You did a good deed, and good for you ...........................

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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 11:25 PM
Response to Reply #31
33. It might have been for the Bay Bridge and the Bridge/Tunnel...
If they were headed for Norfolk...

Ah well...If she was lying, it's on her conscience, not mine.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 09:59 PM
Response to Reply #4
24. She said her son was in the military...
I'm thinking it might be the Bay Bridge Tunnel.

Of course, it's possible that she miscalculated her travel expenses, needed money for food, and was embarrassed to say so.

I suppose she could have been a good actress, but I didn't get the feeling she was accustomed to doing that sort of thing.
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kiva Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:47 PM
Response to Original message
5. Nope, you're a good person.
I'd rather fund a few scam artists (or even several) if it means I'm able to help those who need it...and in this economy, I figure even the con artists need help.
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armyowalgreens Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:50 PM
Response to Original message
6. You have to take the risk if you want to help people...
Edited on Mon Jul-27-09 05:56 PM by armyowalgreens
You might have been suckered or you might have helped someone who was in need.

In the end, it's impossible to know for sure. So you must be willing to take the risk.


That's why I hate people who say "I don't give money to homeless people because they'll just spend it on alcohol and drugs". Which is utterly ridiculous. Not all homeless people are drug addicts. Who knows, ones money might actually be useful to someone. And even if someone doesn't believe me, he or she could just give them food or drink. They can't buy drugs or alcohol with that. But of course, most people are too lazy to do such a thing.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:33 PM
Response to Reply #6
15. I'll go you one further
I don't care if they use the cash for alcohol or drugs. Not my job to police what people do. If anybody might need a chemical "vacation" it's a homeless person.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:20 PM
Response to Reply #15
26. I agree with that to a point...
but in this case, with my own finances horrifically tight, I'd rather not give such a large amount to help someone get a fix.
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #15
36. I don't give to junkies or boozers because....
if they get high and kill someone/themselves/OD/whatever I don't want to be part of it.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-28-09 12:51 AM
Response to Reply #36
38. well, you probably shouldn't give them anything -
they might stay sober, eat, and live and do those things too.
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merh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 05:58 PM
Response to Original message
7. you did a good thing
what was in your heart is what matters, not what was in their hearts
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NJmaverick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 06:17 PM
Response to Reply #7
9. Well said
That's what I wanted to say, but couldn't find the words.
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hippywife Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 06:18 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. You hit it perfectly.
You have a way with words there, merh, sweetie. :hug:
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:21 PM
Response to Reply #7
27. Thank you...
That does help put things in perspective. :hug:
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merh Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #27
32. no, thank you
Edited on Mon Jul-27-09 10:56 PM by merh
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Parche Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 06:51 PM
Response to Original message
12. you are a good person
:hug::loveya:


ps. it was probably LynneSin trying to get back to Delaware with all of their tollbooths...
:rofl: :hi:
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 06:57 PM
Response to Original message
13. yes you're a sucker, PLEASE stop giving these people money
Edited on Mon Jul-27-09 07:01 PM by pitohui
i don't know where you live but when i'm out west this hustle happens every fucking day and sometimes multiple times a day

it's also a big gas station hustle

i don't want beggars hitting me up for money when i'm trying to buy gas or go to the bank

i'm at the point where i report these people to security if i can, unfortunately a lot of branch banks don't even HAVE a freaking security guard on site -- i'll sure report em in the casino tho

these people make more money than you do in a day, just hustling and hassling

stop enabling this shit -- as far as "it only matters what's in your heart not their heart" -- PLEASE NO PEOPLE -- in a world where we have limited $, every $ we give to a con artist is money taken away from someone who could actually be helped

these people are hanging around BANK DRIVE-UP WINDOWS, v. dangerous to encourage this type of thing, sometimes i am a woman banking alone, i don't need to be approached by bums when i'm handling my money

your kindness could be putting me and other women at risk of a shakedown -- you make this shit profitable so the shit continues

hit me up at the bank and i'll do my damnedest to see that you're detained/arrested

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The Velveteen Ocelot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #13
16. DU's own Debbie Downer strikes again!
There's no way to know whether somebody's hustling or genuinely needs help.

I would resolve the doubt in favor of helping. Not everyone is a scammer; the world needs more Good Samaritans and fewer cynics.
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #16
20. eh she has a point about being alone at a bank machine
and a possible argument for not encouraging it. I don't agree, but can see the point.
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:27 PM
Response to Reply #20
28. I can see the point too
but I can also see why someone who is in immediate need of money would hang out in a bank parking lot.
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RandomThoughts Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #13
19. Because some in society only think people sanctioned by a system are allowed to steal.
Although personally I do not make deals or any things like that, I do not have any different feelings about huckster beggars, and many in suits that are part of what many think of as normal society.

I do however at times accept a drink or beer, and also buy beers for friends and tip well when I have money, and I do not look down on people in bad situations. However those that get money by deception I disagree with.
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newcriminal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #13
22. Then a sucker I will always be.
I would have given them the money as well, and even after reading your post if someone were to ask me tomorrow I would give them the money. I won't try to make you feel bad about not helping someone in need, and you shouldn't try to make anyone feel bad who tried to help someone in need.
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UTUSN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:25 PM
Response to Original message
14. Oh. Nevermind. n/t
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KamaAina Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:38 PM
Response to Original message
17. This is just begging for a copycat
:evilgrin:
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:29 PM
Response to Reply #17
29. LOL
:spank:
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
18. It was probably a scam, but please don't feel bad.
I usually give them a few bucks if I have it. And I always give the guys on the corners a few bucks when I go into town - it's my superstitious way of appeasing the traffic gods;-)


Of course I drive vehicles where it's more likely they will give ME money, so I don't get hit up all that much...:rofl:
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Gormy Cuss Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:58 PM
Response to Reply #18
23. +1
Why worry if it's a scam after you give money?
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 10:32 PM
Response to Reply #23
30. Good question...
I guess it's because there's that nagging little voice telling me that money I would have used on food may be going to help someone get high.
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Tangerine LaBamba Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 11:31 PM
Response to Reply #30
34. Then, for ten bucks,
you learned something about yourself that you didn't know before.

And that's a good, cheap lesson.

If you have that one nagging at you - and I know that feeling, it happens to me, too - then your antennae were giving you a signal which your head and heart chose to overrule.

You knew. Posting it here was one (great) way of looking for amplification and/or clarification.

You knew.

I must say, the post about people hanging out at bank drive-through lanes caught me up, and sounded just right.

So, maybe you got taken, maybe you didn't. You'll never know, but you will be prepared should this ever happen to you again.

So will I, thanks to you...............

:hug:
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 08:41 PM
Response to Original message
21. If I carried cash, I would have given.
I've done so before and will do so again.

Mind you, I rarely carry cash - mostly so those pesky solicitors at the storefront exits can quickly find real suckers...
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proteus_lives Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Jul-27-09 11:56 PM
Response to Original message
35. Probably contributed to their next bag of whatever drug strikes their fancy....
But your heart's in the right place.
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AllenVanAllen Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Tue Jul-28-09 12:27 AM
Response to Original message
37. That was very kind of you
Edited on Tue Jul-28-09 12:28 AM by AllenVanAllen


no mater what they were going to use the money for. With things like this I think you should follow your heart or your gut.
Regardless, I believe no act of kindness is ever in vain. I hope if I am ever in need I will run into someone like you. :)




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