At 29 am I too old to date a 21 year old?

[LostInAnomie]

There is this girl that I've recently found out likes me and wants to go on a date with me, but she is only 21. I don't really know much about her except that she's definitely attractive enough to date. I think the age difference would be a little much though.

What do you think?

[MrSlayer]

1. Hell no.

She's a consenting adult. Go for it.

[NightWatcher]

2. if you have other things in common, go for it

[Sanity Claws]

3. No problem

8 year difference is manageable.

[Bicoastal]

4. How big are her earlobes?

This makes all the difference in the world, when you think about it.

[Glenda]

25. Wasn't this on 2.5 Men? n/t

[Deja Q]

42. Wouldn't it be on 3 men?

[Beer on a stick]

5. When I was about 30-31, and just divorced, I dated a 21 year old

While very attractive, she never shut up, never talked about things except those that 21 year olds talk about and ALWAYS wanted to go out drinking.

IOW, don't do it.

[EFerrari]

9. My ex dated a very young girl before we got married.

He said he broke up with her after he said something about the Kennedy assassination and she said, "Ted Kennedy has been shot?!"

lol

I don't know if that's true or not but, it would be hard to date someone with a whole different frame of ref.

[Beer on a stick]

23. It wasn't that mine was dumb, or ignorant, per se, but...

She was a Texas girl who was studying fashion design at Santa Monica City College, and was all about the pah-tay. The got old, fast, espcially when Mr. Downtown Skyscraper Suit-and-Tie Real Job was paying for it all.

Don't get me started on her friends...

[Strong Atheist]

17. Welcome to DU!

:toast:

[Beer on a stick]

22. Thanks.

[Boojatta]

43. I hazard the guess that you haven't studied much probability theory.

You're generalizing based on a single case.

Now, instead of simply scolding you, I will share some information. The following is a popular book that you are likely to enjoy. It's also educational:

Fooled by Randomness: The Hidden Role of Chance in the Markets and Life

Author:
Taleb, Nassim Nicholas

[Beer on a stick]

50. I hazard that I had to get through statistics, plenty of them, at university....

and that I was in no way implying that my experience would necessarily apply to others, so I'm not quite sure what you're getting at.

I'll hazard that you didn't pay attention in logic class.

[Boojatta]

51. "I was in no way implying that my experience would necessarily apply to others"

What was the connection between the beginning of your post (vividly describing the one element of a set) and the final words of your post "IOW, don't do it"?

[Beer on a stick]

53. Simply that my experience was very poor, for the reasons cited....

and that my advice is not to do it.

I'm not extrapolating this onto all 21 year olds, or relationships between them and people of the same age I was at the time.

[Boojatta]

54. "and that my advice is not to do it"

You used "IOW", which I took to mean "in other words", but I don't see that advice as something that can be extracted from what came before simply by reformulating what was already given.

You are of course entitled to revise your words and replace "IOW" with "and." However, if you claim that I have failed to recognize that "IOW" and "and" have identical meanings, then we will be led to a discussion of logic, a subject area that you already mentioned for some reason.

[Auggie]

6. DO IT

Otherwise you'll be kicking yourself when you're 40

[704wipes]

57. what auggie said

nt

[Quantess]

7. It just might work.

Go for it. ;)

[BlueJazz]

8. Hey..If it works out, when you're 63 she'll be 54. go for it.

[liberaltrucker]

10. She's legal. Go for it

Love knows no age difference. Here's a :toast:

[carpetbagger]

11. DO IT.

If it doesn't work out, it'll be a big boost to your ego, and you get to be seen with a hot 21 year old chick.

If it works out for a while, it'll be a big boost to your ego, you'll have a good time, and you'll be known to have enough game to get a hot 21 year old chick.

If it works out, you've got plenty of time ahead of you to live life and grow old together, it'll certainly help the mid-life crisis to have a 35 year-old around, and in the second half of life there seems to be a bigger age gradient anyway.

Let's make a deal. You do this, and I'll go after one of the moms on my son's baseball team who's 7 years younger than me (I'm late 30s and getting divorced). It's 4th and goal, and we'll just push each other out of the airplane. K?

[surrealAmerican]

12. You'll never know until you try it ...

... or until you get to know her a little better first. Not all 21-year-olds are alike, just like not all 29-year-olds are alike.

[Throd]

13. Why not? I was 28 when I met my 22 year old future wife.

At the time the age difference seemed a little odd to me. Now, 10 years later, not so much.

[rug]

14. Will she buy her own beer?

[LisaL]

15. She is an adult and so I fail to see what the problem is.

If you go on a date and find out you have nothing in common then of course you don't have to continue dating her.

[hedgehog]

16. It depends on how old she is not just on how many birthdays she's had.

Note - said advice applies only to women over 18!

[DeepBlueC]

18. probably

there's a big gulf of experience between 21 and 29. but you'll never know unless you try. and she has some say in the matter.

[Strong Atheist]

19. Nah. Go for it, with eyes open... nt.

[pinstikfartherin]

20. I'm 21 and my boyfriend of 2 years is 29.

If both of you have no problem with it, I think it is fine. You're both adults. I say go out and see what happens. :shrug:

[NNadir]

21. I married a woman who is 11 years younger than I am. It's been a very happy marriage

although sometimes I think she is frustrated by my immaturity.

[Chan790]

24. No...

I do it frequently. Good on you, man. Age is a number.

[Wapsie B]

26. Two words: consenting adults

nuff said

[Orrex]

27. Go for it! You can have her buy booze, cigarettes, and porn for you!

[JitterbugPerfume]

28. no that is about the age span between my grandson and his wife

They dated years ago but "everyone" agreed that she was way to young but now they are happily married and If I told hm once I told his a zillion times while they were seperated that SHE was the one! Age is just a number.

[BarenakedLady]

29. No

Sounds fine to me. Heh.

[Inchworm]

41. You Cougar!

:hide:

[BarenakedLady]

47. I try

But they all run away screaming

:rofl:

[Deja Q]

30. Live while ya can

[susanr516]

31. Go for it--

You're both adults. I once dated a guy 16 years older than me. We broke up because he was through having kids and I wanted one. Thirty years later, we're still good friends.

[XemaSab]

52. I once dated a guy 20 years older

:D

[FedUpWithIt All]

32. Go for it. Age does not determine compatibility. Personalities do.

:hi:

[UTUSN]

33. No. Hoever, if you look like your avatar/ wife-beater, YES. n/t

[Chan790]

34. Why?

I look like his avatar and I date 21 year olds.

[KamaAina]

35. Oh please. At 45, I just fell for a 28-year-old hard enough to register on the Richter scale.

If not for... complications... not related to age, there we would be... :loveya:

[Aristus]

36. I was 26 and my wife was 35 when we met.

She'll be fifty soon, and I'm just barely forty.

And we're still crazy about each other... :evilgrin:

[NewJeffCT]

37. Please - when I was newly divorced and 32-33

I was dating plenty of college women, some younger than 21. So, 8 years is nothing. Strangely enough, these women ignored me when I was in college...

[mac56]

38. The rule of thumb is, half your age plus seven years.

So 29/2 = 14.5+7 = 21.5.

Yeah, you're cool.

[Iggo]

39. Get 'er, dude.

I dated a 19 yr old when I was 28. Best year of my life.

[MadMaddie]

40. One of my male friends has a method to determine correct age

So it goes like this..

Divide your age by 2 29/2 = 14.5
Add 7 14.5 + 7 = 21.5

So if you use this formula then you are good..just sayin....

[Cali_Democrat]

44. I'm 28 and I got a 20 year-old chick trying to jump my bones

She's kind of a weird one with loads of tattoos and to top it off she's my friend's first cousin. Weird, huh?

Not sure what I'm gonna to.

[sasquatch]

45. No

and way to go man!
:hide:



















In all seriousness though my sister in laws fundy church often marries off freshly turned 18 year old girls to 29 year old men fairly often. You're not that extreme so I don't see the problem.

[Obama2012]

46. No

[GoddessOfGuinness]

48. She's of legal age.

It can't hurt to ask her. You can get a pretty good idea whether things might work, at least.

[flvegan]

49. No. Age makes no difference.

[proteus_lives]

55. You're on the edge.

The age-in-years difference isn't that bad but the emotional difference could be a very large gulf.

Most 21 year-olds are not done growing up yet.

[RFKHumphreyObama]

56. A year less than the age different between my sister and her husband

Incidentally they were about the same ages that you and your potential GF were when they first met

Now happily married with one child and another one on the way

[mwooldri]

58. No, not at all.

I don't think society would generally have a problem with it either - but if you're compatible then that is what matters.

Age is for the most part just a number and an attitude. If you're totally into what she's into and vice-versa then that may well work.

[rcrush]

59. What you do is...

You get down on your knees and THANK GOD that this happened to you!

[anneboleyn]

60. This could be tricky, because you are at such different points in your life --

Is she still in college, as other posters have mentioned? She will be focused on college life and her major, etc. -- all of that will become tedious rather quickly. Is she exceptionally mature emotionally? I think people (maybe women especially?) change in enormous ways emotionally as we mature through our twenties. I know that my twenties were a time of tremendous change while my thirties have been more stable.

Also, your expectations as far as what you will want out of a relationship may be very different (I realize that this sounds cliched, but it is true). She may not be at all interested in a serious, sustained relationship (if you are for example) as she is still very young and, in her mind, she will have all the time in the world ahead of her. I say go out for drinks and see if she can keep up a mature conversation for an hour or so, then try dinner. See if you can tolerate her topics of conversation and her approach to the world.

[Vidar]

61. Depends more on maturitiy levels that chronological age.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

62. yes, the age difference especially at that age is meaningful

a 21 year old is either still in college or just graduated. whereas you have a different life circumstance. i think the age diff is meaningful YMMV

[brendan120678]

63. The rule is half your age plus 7.

So 29 and 21 is just barely scraping in at the bottom of your date-able range.

Go for it.

[MilesColtrane]

64. It's borderline, but...

...as long as she's mature for her age, and you're immature, it could work.

[Mutley]

65. What about when the woman is the older one?

Would everyone be as cool with an age difference?

[realisticphish]

76. honestly, I would say people have an EASIER time with that

[Mutley]

78. How so?

[Arugula Latte]

66. I went out with a 30-year-old guy when I was 21 and then realized I was WAY more mature than he was.

I mean, way way WAY more. Thank goodness I finally wised up -- that relationship lasted two years. :scared:

[MissMillie]

67. no, but she's probably too young to date you

I was a young woman once... so were a lot of my friends. We were prone to some pretty stupid decisions.

Not that dating you would be a stupid decision, but I think it all would depend on what kind of "dating" you were going to be doing and whether or not you two were in the same place... goal-wise

[abq e streeter]

68. go for it--absolutely

what do you have to lose, even if it doesn't work out? See if the two of you have a good time and have things to talk about. Then you'd theoretically go on a second date. Still good? A third etc. Unfortunately , due to my previous experience(s), I gotta say be prepared for her to change her mind about you for no apparent reason, and do whatever mental or emotional damage you allow that to cause, but hell, that can happen at any age, so....GO FOR IT.

[Moondog]

69. Since you feel the need to ask, yes, probably. n/t

[CBHagman]

70. Oh, for the love of Mike...

What are you doing here?! Do you know what I would give to be having this interesting dilemma?

You'll never know unless you ask her...

[Zavulon]

71. Not at all.

I dated a 21 year-old when I was 36, and my current girlfriend was 23 when I was 37. I'm 46 now, and she's still with me.

[JVS]

72. I'm sure you can act as immature as a 22 year old if you try, and that will make it ok.

[Odin2005]

73. My close friend's BF is 31 and she's 20.

You two are both adults, it's not like you are chasing after high-school girls! :P

[backwoodsbob]

74. well hell no

[philosophie_en_rose]

75. You're adults. Give it a chance.

Maybe it won't work out, but you won't know unless you get to know each other.

[busybl]

77. oh hell no