Penis Enlargement Product Fails - So Man Sues

[matcom]

<snip>

DAYTON | A Harrison Twp. man filed a class-action lawsuit Wednesday in Montgomery County Common Pleas Court in which he claimed deceptive sales practices by a Cincinnati business that sells a "male enhancement" herbal product.

David C. Parker of 4551 Lansmore Drive bought an eight-month supply of Enzyte for $399.60 in October 2001, relying on the company's published claims that the product would enlarge his penis.

The product is distributed by what is now called Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals Inc., 1661 Waycross Road, Cincinnati. In his lawsuit, Parker claimed he relied on the company's representation that "Research shows that after 3 to 4 weeks, most men on the Enzyte plan will experience some gain. . . . Depending upon the individual, initial results may take from 4 to 6 weeks."

The lawsuit contends "the so-called 'research' referenced did not exist or did not constitute competent and reliable scientific evidence."

http://www.daytondailynews.com/localnews/content/localnews/daily/0318enzyteweb.html

[BlueEyedSon]

1. I figure it's worth $1 million in emotional pain & suffering too.

Imagine the DISAPPOINTMENT!

[CatWoman]

2. one question, Mat

did they refund your money?? :P

:D

:D

:D

:D

[matcom]

4. I went on the 5 year plan

and i gots me 3 more years to go before they PROMISE me it will work!

:P

:bounce:

[Robb]

3. Can I sue for fruit damage to my TV

...caused by tossing tomatoes at the thing every time that stupid grinning guy comes on?

Further, if I track down that guy and beat him into next week, would any court in the land convinct me? :D

[THUNDER HANDS]

5. but Smilin' Bob says it works

And how can you not trust this face?

[DS1]

13. I wish Mr. T would knock the smile off that guy's face

*crack*

[Dogmudgeon]

6. I'm perfectly happy with my Dr. Willy Personal Enhancement Pump!

But sometimes I get that "all-dressed-up-with-no-place-to-go" feeling.

They say that there's a sect of inscrutable Oriental Arabs that use a secret technique to make their "love organs" (thanks for the phrase, Father Moon!) enromous in size and as hard as the bricks in the Sphinx. It goes by the name of Lai-Ying. There's a company that sells a pamphlet about how to do it for only $40.

It's on the Internet -- it has to be true!

--bkl

[LynneSin]

7. So you're saying all the SPAM email I receive is actually UNTRUE???

GASP!!!!!

:crazy:

[matcom]

8. no, that's all true

see, they all promise an extra 3 inches. well, i signed up 10 times and now my Russell (the love muscle) can open doors and drive my car for me!

:silly:

[THUNDER HANDS]

9. I wish I could drive a 5-speed like that

:D

[DieboldMustDie]

10. So now everyone in Dayton...

as well as everyone here at DU, knows that "David C. Parker of 4551 Lansmore Drive" is a dumbass with a small penis. :silly:

[GOPisEvil]

11. I bet that guy doesn't get ANY crank calls...

[DS1]

12. Hey, at least he'll be packin a big bulging

wallet.