Haiku Flame War Redux

[m-jean03]

Did I kill the Haiku
Flame War on Wednesday with my
Enthusiasm?

I tried to pick fights
Yet a great many poems
Were left un-answered.

Care to flame me now?
For I ain't no chickenhawk;
I'm ready to fight.

[MiddleRiverRefugee]

1. reply

Pardon my language
But this is a bad movie
I'd rather avoid

[m-jean03]

5. That's because you're weak.

You're obviously a wuss
Who can't take the heat

[kiahzero]

2. Here we go

You foolish freeper
Bush has more brains than you do
You should die slowly.

:evilgrin:

I hope that didn't cross the line...
On edit: word inversion.

[m-jean03]

10. You cross the line, scum.

Calling me that name! I should
Click alert on you.

[DS1]

3. could have kicked it but

instead you started anew
your flames amuse me

[m-jean03]

7. I would have kicked it

But the thread hurt my ego
This time, I'm the star

Your insolent words
Carry no respect; How dare
You give me advice

[regularguy]

4. Death to SUVs

You're a Dem in name only
Mumia for Pres

[m-jean03]

9. Your extremism is

Misguided. Only Kerry can
Win this election.

[regularguy]

24. In my Mom's basement

Mumia beats John Kerry
One vote to nothing

[Westegg]

12. I drive motor-homes---

Sixty-footers---to waste gas.
Love to smell it burn!

[jpgray]

6. Pap

Online poetry
with leading capitals goes
down like ipecac.

;-)

[m-jean03]

13. jpgray is dumb

What kind of name is that, man?
Your mama give you it?

[ET Awful]

8. Hmmm

Your inane babble
causes my stomach to lurch
more often than not

:)

[m-jean03]

11. I think you repress

Certain unmentionable
Feelings for mother

[Westegg]

15. Mother? You never/

Met the skank who dropped you and
Ran screaming in fear.

[m-jean03]

34. I wish you much luck

It must be hard being a
weird, chickenless egg.

[Westegg]

14. Your mouse is small, weak.

Even by rodent standards.
He's a damn pip-squeak!

[m-jean03]

16. You are a moran

Can't you tell he's a hamster?
Get your facts straight, man.

[Westegg]

17. My hamster sandwich

Hits the spot today but needs
A tad more mustard.

[northzax]

36. I just noticed that

your mother is a hamster
small, furry, smelly.

[TXlib]

18. Copycat my thread?

You do pay hommage to me
by stealing by thread.

[m-jean03]

20. Yours was abandoned

And I wanted attention
So na na na na!

Your haikus were great
Though; please stick around this time
I love to hate you

:toast:

[TXlib]

19. Like a leaf falling

your thread will sink, unnoticed,
into the archives.

[Westegg]

21. Horsehead nebula/

Dark, old and gaseous, like you.
Saddle up and go.

[TXlib]

44. Gaseous? Has my wife

been talking to you? I am
not so old, either...

[Westegg]

22. Em-jean-oh-three sounds

Like the active chemical
In Bush's louse-soap.

[m-jean03]

27. What the hell's a Westegg --

It sounds like the name of a
GM food product

[Westegg]

45. Ever read "Gatsby"?

I suspect not. Your fave tome?
Goddamn "TV Guide."

[m-jean03]

54. You're just a commie

And your mama's in Al-Quaida
You hate our country.

[Westegg]

63. My mother is dead/

But before she went, she warned
About tramps like you.

[Westegg]

23. Em-jean-oh-three starts/

Haiku thread, but then work calls.
"You want fries with that?"

[m-jean03]

28. Owned by Monsanto

Westegg's a toxic weapon
Sold as food product.

[a_random_joel]

38. Wow! Laughing out loud

my haiku bests acronyms.
Monitor clean now.

[Westegg]

25. Westegg' s bored sending

His haikus into the void.
He'll check back later.

[camero]

26. Hello

What is it with all
of this haiku stuff? PeeYuu
It is a big pain.

[m-jean03]

29. Your middle line needs

Seven syllables; the rest
Only need five, dude.

You are a lewd man
I remember what you
Said about my breasts.

:D

[camero]

30. I fixed my Haiku

Your breasts are so nice to see
Early in the morn. :D

[m-jean03]

31. Nice try, you moran

Your second line has too much
No quarters, today? ;)

[camero]

32. Doh. I will blame the

brain damage I get from too
many hits to head. :)

[Westegg]

53. Bare your breasts often?

The word for that is "tawdry."
But could I see them?

[m-jean03]

55. I only show them

To hot guys like Camero
You'd need a face lift

[Westegg]

59. My skin's baby-soft/

And wrinkle free. What say we
Cut the chat and dance?

[camero]

62. I saw them because

I wear some very tight pants
They are very nice. :)

[Westegg]

65. I can't wear tight pants.

The snake's too grand. Camero?
Penis extension.

[camero]

I do not need one

Thanks for the offer though sir
I like to show it.

[Westegg]

72. The Pittsburgh Pirates/

Kicked Oriole butt in two
Series. Now, they suck.

[camero]

77. It is Spring Training now

All the lackeys are playing
They will win later

[Westegg]

78. I meant the Pirates.

Small town, no money. It's sad!
O's are better now.

But I still recall
Clemente's homer. Clincher
In '71.

[camero]

79. and seventy-nine

Willie Stargell hit one too
and got me crying. :cry:

[Westegg]

82. The late Stargell was/

My neighbor, and a good man.
Is Boog Powell dead?

Frank Robinson was
One of the greatest.
See? I respect O's.

[m-jean03]

66. Yes, I only show

Them to men who can display
Largesse through their pants

Thank you Camero
Nice pants today; Levi's, yes?
Like that worn-in look!

[camero]

68. yes, nice pants today

Bugle boy with many holes
Show them to me please. :)

[m-jean03]

33. I have made a few

mistakes in my haikus; thanks
For not noticing.

[northzax]

40. mistakes? no suprise

for you are a no talent
hack of a poet.

[m-jean03]

52. Since I asked for that

I can't be too mad, but still-
Your mama's Al-Quaida

[northzax]

56. alas dear MJ

al-quaida has three, not two
syllables, I think.

[a_random_joel]

64. You dare to correct

syllabic lapses? Funny.
I taught you quite well.

[Westegg]

50. Oh, I noticed, hon/

But kindly Westegg knows you
Are trying SO hard.

[a_random_joel]

61. Westegg, your talent

goes not unnoticed by me.
Takes one to know one.

[Westegg]

69. Oh pleez, Random Joel/

You think flattery will dim
My wrath? Wrong, sucker.

[a_random_joel]

70. You write well. Too bad,

your reading needs work. My praise?
Showered both of us.

[a_random_joel]

35. Attention

My greatest hits, now
for your delight; or perhaps
despair? Bring it on!

Did you say haiku?
You should know; I am the king!
Here is a sample:


Geico Haiku
Such cheap insurance!
Funny commercials to boot!
I'm plugging Geico ?!

Dean Haiku
We're going to New
Hampshire! South Carolina!
Then Michigan! Yeeeeaghhhh!

Bush Haiku
Bush says: "Fool me once,
shame on... shame on you. Fool me...
can't get fooled again."

[m-jean03]

48. I will stop flaming

To tell you you're good, though a
Sellout to Geico

:D

[a_random_joel]

57. Me, a sellout? Ha!

You are sucking up to me,
then calling me that.

If diplomacy,
keeps you out of conflict; the
Bushies taught you well.

[Westegg]

74. GREAT Bush haiku, Joel!

But monkeys with typewriters
Can do wondrous things.

[a_random_joel]

75. Thank you! But Westegg,

Get cracking. So many posts...
have gone unanswered.

[northzax]

37. oh, m-jean03

you think you are so clever
but really you suck

[a_random_joel]

46. Your haiku won't work

if the number is pronounced
in phonetic form.

[northzax]

49. when you read numbers

do you always say "zero"
convention says 'oh'

[a_random_joel]

58. You should ask a math

professor his opinion:
"Nonsense! Class dismissed."

[a_random_joel]

39. So... No one wants this?

I knew I could shock and awe.
Bueller? Anyone?

[northzax]

41. want a piece of you?

that would be like swatting small
flies with ferraris.

[a_random_joel]

42. Size does matter, friend.

One man's small fly; another's
big zipper. Who's next?

[northzax]

43. so why does your girlfriend

complain about the pinkie
tucked behind your fly?

[a_random_joel]

47. My wife has no qualms.

She's aware that some men are
growers not showers.

But, what's your excuse?
The organ that lies between
your ears is smaller.

[northzax]

51. hostility thy

name is random _joel; perhaps
a nice nap would help?

[a_random_joel]

60. Wake up! This thread flames!

I love the smell of napalm
in the morning. Boom.

[Westegg]

71. Random Joel can quote/

"Apocalypse Now." Gee-wiz!
He's seen a movie!

Francis Coppola
Made "Apocalypse" to give
Joel words to say. Right.

[a_random_joel]

73. Westegg: be wary

Or, I'll make you an offer
you cannot refuse.

Coppola is not
the only director that
Joel can quote. "Action!"

[Westegg]

80. Hitchcock? Scorsese?

Name your poison my son, and
Waste more of my time.

[a_random_joel]

81. Hey, didn't you leave?

Back for more punishment? GO!
And, don't let the door...

[Westegg]

83. I had to come back.

Some Windy City cat named
Joel needed schoolin'.

[TXlib]

67. Cease your prattle now!

The rumbling deep in my bowels
sounds better than you!

[Westegg]

76. Westegg must away.

Secretly in love with Jean,
He sends her good vibes.

[m-jean03]

85. Dear Westegg, you're great/

Thou doth keepeth me on my
Toes. See you around!

[Westegg]

84. But seriously,

I've been sidetracked by haikus
While the world, she burns.

You cats are smart and
Funny. But I've got some stuff
That I must do. Bye!

[sarahbellum]

86. hmm....

why are we fighting?
i'm a stupid newbie and
i'm rather confused.

[a_random_joel]

87. Welcome! I warn you,

Newbs are often feared freepers,
until their worth proved.