The Quirky Conference Call of all CAPTIONS!!!

[skip fox]

Connie: "He wants . . . WHAT??????'

Dick: "He says he wants another invasion. He says his briefings are getting too boring. He wouldn't mind it if there was an asteroid scare where he could save everybody. Or . . . even bombers coming after the White House so he could do something fancy." Cheney holds his palm over the mouthpiece and says to the rest, "Shithead! . . . Relax, Connie. Hell, he's just bored again. . . . Friday afternoon."

[Raster]

1. karen (wet nurse to the beast) hughes: NO, he CANNOT fly the plane!

[felonious thunk]

2. When you are making World Class Decisions

Choose Diet Coke to freshen your mind and your will. Before you decide who must be stopped next, stop and enjoy a Diet Coke.

[Fenris]

3. Dick: "No so sowwy, you have wrong number."

"No this not Dick Cheney. This Ace Chinese restaurant in Bethesda. Prease do not car here again..."

Dick covers mouthpiece, whispers to the others: "Shit, he says he wants to place an order. What the fuck do I do?"

[rock]

4. He wants to rub my WHAT?

[skip fox]

5. bit subtle . . .

n/t

[cosmicdot]

6. The White House burns the midnight oil for health care for all Americans.

The White House is seen working 24/7 in a diligent effort in order to bring universal, non-profit health care for all Americans. A senior White House staff member, speaking anonymously, stated: "Although I'm not there and stuff, that's what they're doing, and I'm in charge and stuff, too. I gotta go get me a peanut butter and pretzel sammich now, and drain the lizard."

Photo and text by the Discreditable Press

[cosmicdot]

7. Dick: yeah, well, we've jotted down everything in our heads on paper

(note blank paper on table)

[Papa]

8. "I'd like to order 12,000 pizzas please. That's right, Sen Kerry's office"

[bif]

9. "Condi, they don't have the shoes you want in a size 8."

[VOX]

10. "Okay, that's a BLT, an egg-salad, a ham on rye, a can of 30-weight..."

"...4 quarts of Miller's, 500,000 rounds of ammo, and six orders of freedom fries. Condi, do you have a credit card?"

[BringEmOn]

11. "He's calling for Mike Hunt. Has anybody seen Mike Hunt?

[skip fox]

12. Come on, DU! I know this is an old photo, but it needs

brand new captions for this beautiful pre-spring weekend.