Limerick or haiku insult thread

[TXlib]

Tex Lib is so vain
and his ego knows no bounds.
Take him down a peg.

---

There once was a dork named TXlib
Who thought himself gifted and glib.
DU flame wars he'd track,
and post ad hominem attacks,
And he'd conclude each of his posts with a fib!

[ScreamingMeemie]

1. How could we possibly improve on those two

poems??? :shrug:

[felonious thunk]

2. Another ridiculous thread

There's clearly something wrong in his head
But I'll still reply
and then wonder why
There's nothing better to do instead!

[TXlib]

4. Is that all you got?

Come on, my mother can hit
harder than you did!

[felonious thunk]

5. Now I'm bringin it on

The gloves, yep, they're gone
I'm pushing the line
To find something to rhyme
I have a nice chair on my lawn

[TXlib]

7. Oh, please! You hit like a girl!

You barely ruffled my curl.
Now go back to your hut,
'cuz you're being a nut.
And please stop being such a churl.

[felonious thunk]

9. Now it's a bare knuckled fight

My left hook has quite a bite
Like Kerry to Bush
I'll give you push
And silence you with my might!

[TXlib]

11. I think I'll start calling you Heather

I guess you wear lace, and not leather.
Like Newsman Matt Drudge
the facts you must fudge,
'cuz that punch was as light as a feather!

[felonious thunk]

12. You initial post now rings true

You've resorted to hate like you do
But I've got the facts
I've got the greenbacks
I'm big pimpin and rolling over you!

[TXlib]

13. Your childish taunts don't enrage

so why don't you just act your age?
You're ugly and chubby;
your mom dresses you funny...
So please just go back to your cage.

[felonious thunk]

14. Why is no one else playing along?

and insulting each other like a song
I'm having great fun
so enjoy this one
Think about Larry King in a thong

[TXlib]

15. Because limericks are harder to write

And the rest of the crowd ain't too bright.
But geez, "Larry King"?!
That makes my brain sting!
You know how to make dirty a fight!

[felonious thunk]

16. I believe sir, that you are correct

They are scared theirs might be a reject
Sorry bout the cheap shot
It's really all that I've got
I didn't know that would have such an effect!

[TXlib]

25. Are those fighting words? Well, I think not.

Didn't even get in a cheap shot.
So, victory I'll claim,
as this limerick I maim...
The peace pipe is lit; so smoke pot!

[rock]

3. OK

A bon mot lick
Ver-y sick
Ratt-y rhyme
Litt-le time
A Lim-er-ick

Pretty bad, huh?

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

6. Doubt:

JCCyC
Is unsure of who to insult
Himself or poster?

[TXlib]

8. Tex Lib is so vain

and his ego knows no bounds.
Take him down a peg.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

10. Ah.

He thinks he's so tough
Being a cop, but KC did
away with his nuts

(Could be better, I know)

[TXlib]

17. A cop? I think not.

This really is news to me.
What makes you think that?

Nutless wonder, true.
KCDem had them cut off
so I won't chase babes.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. I had a brain fart.

For some reason mixed up you
And Cuban_Liberal

[President_G_W_Bush]

18. There once was a man named Quayle

He was too dumb to get into Yale.
Although he once worked for my dad,
he never quite sounded so sad,
as when he bought coke that was stale

[SOteric]

20. But your knowledge of coke is renowned

You've bought not in grams, -by the pound!
Which explains for a start,
Why a PR tart
Like Blair is your simpering hound.

[SarahB]

21. Insulting limerick

TXlib is such an ass
I think he hits on every lass
Though it's so easy
To also be sleazy
I think I'll resist the pass :)

[TXlib]

24. Just admit that you want me, S. Belle

now that you've come out of your shell.
You may worship my altar.
(Just loosen your halter!)
Flirting with me is not hell!

[SarahB]

26. Hmmm...

It seems someone else took my shell
But I'm still stuck here in hell
In this Stepford-like town
But I won't feel down
As long as you flirt with S. Belle

:7

[SOteric]

22. A liberal in Texas we know

About his own charms would crow,
In truth he was geeky
And sexually freaky
most of us thought him a "ho."

[TXlib]

23. SOteric, I think, has a hankering

for a good old-fashioned butt spankering.
So, assume the position,
and following tradition,
to me for each 'thwack' you'll be thankering!

[DS1]

28. There was a man from way south of Niagra

His lines were more toxic than Nyanza
Searching for a man called Mike Ditka
for after seconds of fooking, he'd empty his :evilgrin:
He said "Mike, my name's Texas Lib
and I'm tellin' no fib,
I need to load up on Viagra!"

[SOteric]

30. Ah...the feeble nature of the pole

Even when properly swoll'
Leaves him searching his spam
For drugs from Surinam
Hawked by spokesmodel "Droop-Daddy" Dole.

[ScreamingMeemie]

27. Blah blah blah blah blah...

TXLib's mouth is oft open
Who's got the duct tape??

:P

[TXlib]

29. I did not know you were kinky...

Threaten with duct tape? How hinky!
Tie me up, if you wish,
you delectable dish!
But please shower first, 'cuz you're stinky.

[TXlib]

31. Alas! My thread, it seems, is no more.

I guess y'all thought it a bore.
Since you're busying your heads
writing naughty sex threads
since none of you losers can score!

[ScreamingMeemie]

32. MrsGrumpy is trying to think

of a way to combat the stink...
That TXlib will write
and then cause a fight...
and no, I am not into kink.

Okay...well..that's for me to know and you to find out. :P

[TXlib]

33. Think all you want, my dear Grumpus.

You're barely as bright as a Wumpus.
You think you're not kinky
or brazen or stinky...
Now, please just go wash off your rumpus!

[ScreamingMeemie]

34. Don't you think it's a bit too much...

I really think your head's a bit touched.
I've listened too long
To your silly old song.
To believe that I'm really as such.
:P

[TXlib]

35. I'm just a lecherous old fart

who rather fancies you a tart.
So, please don't break my illusions--
They're really wondrous delusions.
Just have a whip, and a heart!

[ScreamingMeemie]

36. Fine, I'll allow it I guess...

Just don't make too big of a mess,
Oh my whip has been broken...
Oops, I fear I've mispoken!
Now I'll frantically look for egress...

[MichaelUK]

38. Why is this thread here

Amongst the land of burgers and beer
Surely it should rest
In the land that knows best
And allows marriage between those that are queer

[Aristus]

37. A DU-er by name of Aristus

Saw all us girls and he Kistus
A dangerous plan
For a married man
For his wife soon found out and she Pistus

:D

[grannylib]

39. I won't insult anyone here at DU, but will freely insult others with this

There once was a poster (a freeper)
With the attitude of the Grim Reaper
He argued and lied
With a tone that was snide
In shit, he's just digging deeper

Republican voters, en masse
Tried to vote in a liar, an ass
Karl Rove's hired thugs
Made sure the Repugs
Stole the WH for profits on gas

I'm too tired to do this, can you tell?? *lol*