I am a carpenter.

[LeftyFingerPop]

I'm not the best carpenter in the world, but I'm not the worst either.

I am an electrician. A mediocre one.

I am a plumber. A poor one.

I am a technical writer. A pretty good one.

If I stare at a problem long enough, I can find a way to fix it.

People come to me for help with a variety of problems.

I am mostly self taught, a fact I am proud of.

===============================================================

If you are none of the above, or if you are not as good as me in any of the above areas, then you suck.

:sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: :sarcasm: <======================== In case you missed it.....

[Tuesday Afternoon]

1. Jack?

:hi:

[LeftyFingerPop]

2. .

:hi: :hug:

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. ~

:hug:

sounds like you would be pretty handy to have around the farm :)

[LeftyFingerPop]

4. As long as there are no pigs there.

I'm askeered of the swine flu. :)

[Ptah]

5. ok

[LeftyFingerPop]

6. !

Nice work! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[Dr. Strange]

7. Don't forget football player.

They got nothing on you, the carpenter-skill-lacking sons of bitches.

[LeftyFingerPop]

8. NFL sissies.

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

9. Hey there tough guy

I've got a leaky pipe and there's water all over the place. Can you come over here and fix it for me, like pronto? I like a humble man of all trades! :hi:

[LeftyFingerPop]

10. OK, but it will take me awhile to get there...

In the meantime...

Get a rubber hose. Cut it about 4 inches long. Then, cut that piece lengthwise. Get some hose clamps...like the kind you use on car radiator hoses.

Turn the water off. Slip the slit piece of hose over the leak. Clamp the hose over the leak with two hose clamps.

That should hold it until I get there.

Or....just start drinking. Heavily. You will forget about the leak. :hi:

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

11. I think I'll take the drinking option

I'm no good with my hands, I had an unfortunate accident with some firecrackers a few years ago. I'll be waiting with my nubs!

[LeftyFingerPop]

12. Get some gauze!

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

14. I don't need any gauze

all I have left is the nubs. Hurry up fruit loop!

[Swede]

13. You and your sister had some nice songs back in the seventies.

:shrug:

[Call Me Wesley]

15. Yeah, but can you do this?

Because I want one!
http://www.youtube.com/user/kipkay?blend=1&ob=4#p/u/6/5erjj6aS5Ws

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

17. Holy shit

Macgyver. Where the fuck do you come up with this stuff?

[Call Me Wesley]

18. Check out his other videos.

Some are pretty funny.

You can't buy these lasers here, but the next time I have an abandoned DVD-burner, I'll see what I can do with it. ;)

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

19. You are dangerous sir!

Please check in with Heidi about your latest plans! }(

[theNotoriousP.I.G.]

20. I want the solar death ray!

I'm gonna burn up every silly video game in this house. See you all in 2011. :evilgrin:

[LeftyFingerPop]

21. My friend, I've spent the afternoon making you three of them.

Do you think I will have any problems with customs when I ship them overseas to you?

[Call Me Wesley]

22. Wow! A red, a blue and a green one?

No problem shipping. Just write 'death rays' on the custom label. That'll be fine, since they really only intercept Kraft Cheese (and I know what I'm talking about.)

Thank you!!!!!!111!!!! I can't think of a cooler way to light my cigarettes. And put my eyes out.

[LeftyFingerPop]

23. Wesley, in all seriousness, I would love to make you one of those...

but remember, you are talking to a guy here who accidentally burned all of his pubic hair off with one of those little bastard lighters in a dark portable toilet.

[Call Me Wesley]

24. Okay, I'll make you one then.

You'll just have to wait until I find two DVD burners.

Then, it's not only your pubic hair, but your chest hair as well. Find the dark portable toilet again, light it up and WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!111!!!!

100% Satisfaction guaranteed! You wanna burn it? Here's the tool!

[madeline_con]

26. Kipkay puts the "Psyience Detective" to shame!

:rofl:

[Call Me Wesley]

27. You know, I'm pretty sure

he would have found some six year old boy in that balloon. Even nine of them for later use. ;)

[rug]

16. My idea of a tool box is the Yellow Pages.

[ChickMagic]

25. Are you Jeebus?

Heard any good jokes lately?