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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 02:50 AM
Original message
"Ma'am your son is very handsome"

I had to meet somebody and McDonalds was the only place both of us knew in the area.

I arrived first and went over to a quiet corner where no one else was sitting.

Three families unloaded their kids who all ran to the corner I was sitting at, the one with the kids games. More experienced restaurant attendees knew not to fall for the quiet before the storm.

After a few minutes a couple walked in. She was 87 years old (I never approximate an age, it seems silly to give a range when someone can give an exact age and appear clairvoyant), regal, strong, determined. She had that 'New England-I-can-my-own-strawberry-jam-and-take-it-down-to-the-food-bank' kind of strength. Since this is California though I suspected that she cheated by doing an hour of yoga everyday.

He was balding, cautious, neat and could have been any other 52 year old, possibly working as a bookkeeper except that he had the smile of a 10 year old. He didn't have Downs or the other conditions that have some physical markers. His smile and the fact that he was trying to suppress a giggle and was holding a 'Happy Meal' made it clear that his mental state was a few decades behind his physical state.

They sat down with the mother's back to me allowing me to quietly watch these two.

It was obvious that this was a weekly ritual. A sacred moment in their week. It was Holy. It was a higher sacrament that any Church will experience on Sunday, the breaking of the cheese burger.

He was allowed to hold the plastic mini jet launcher (which confirmed that the system had indeed honored them with an official 'Happy Meal' with an official 'Happy Meal Giveaway' -not to be handled by children under the age of 6 for fear that they would swallow that part of the sacrament) that was carefully picked out of the paper bag, but he wasn't allowed to open the plastic until the cheese burger was dispatched. Plastic shredded, he clenched the yellow multi jet attack plane while he carefully lifted each french fry and coated it with the exact amount of catsup and let it join the cheeseburger.

I wondered how many hundreds of times that Mom had come and had heard some unkind comment by either an idiot adult or an innocent child.

I wanted to say something to let her know how much I appreciated being able to see her love for her son. Love that had been nurtured for 52 years and never wavered. Love that forced her to do Yoga everyday so that she would be strong for another decade to care for him when there was no one else.

What could I say that wouldn't embarrass her or be condescending? Over 52 years she must have heard hundreds of hurtful things. Certainly I could find something to say that would lift her spirit a bit and not be a sap.

I had several candidates in mind. She got up to go to the bathroom and put a bicycle helmut on him. This seemed to confirm that his condition may be related to a head injury decades ago. As she passed me I decided on the best greeting and said "Ma'am your son is very handsome". I had made the right choice. She beamed. I mean she just glowed sunshine. Sometimes you get lucky and say just the right thing. She knew that I really meant "If all the parents in the world had as much love as you then we wouldn't have a goddamn problem on 7 continents".

When she came out she was still smiling and went to get her son. On the way back she put her hand on my shoulder and said "He is quite striking isn't he!"

It was a certifiable good deed. The Karma Accounting department was being notified in triplicate. I know the score though. If I visit another 24 McDonalds and make another 24 home runs like this one I can even out the negative marks that I got when I reduced the poor Jehovah's Witness girl to tears when she stopped by my door on Monday.
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kimi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 02:56 AM
Response to Original message
1. That's lovely
Thank you.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 07:47 PM
Response to Reply #1
22. Thanks and welcome to DU
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 02:58 AM
Response to Original message
2. Nice story....
Edited on Sun Dec-06-09 02:58 AM by cliffordu
But that Jehovah's witness girl would have been fine if you'd been wearing your shirt.
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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 04:04 AM
Response to Reply #2
3. And pants... n/t
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 11:51 AM
Response to Reply #3
8. well, yeah, but I thought people might be snacking and
didn't want to make them sick.

Swine flu indeed.
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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 12:08 PM
Response to Reply #8
9. I was snacking, I was enjoying my Happy Meal with fries.
And I just love my plastic mini jet launcher.

:donut:
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cliffordu Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 12:39 PM
Response to Reply #9
10. Well.......
BWAHAHAH ahaHAHaH AHAH

:rofl:
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NYC_SKP Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 04:06 AM
Response to Original message
4. Very touching story, grantcart. n/t
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 02:15 PM
Response to Reply #4
16. thanks and your mother is very caring.
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 04:20 AM
Response to Original message
5. lovely
:thumbsup:
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Dec-07-09 12:35 AM
Response to Reply #5
27. thanks Skittles
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JohnnyLib2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 05:16 AM
Response to Original message
6. I do volunteer work with such families.

Ya done good! Thanks for the story. :thumbsup:
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txwhitedove Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 09:25 AM
Response to Original message
7. Wonderful story!
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Schema Thing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 01:04 PM
Response to Original message
11. Want to hear something funny, grantcart?

I was so into your story that I had pretty much decided, well before I got to the last paragraph, to share it over on an ex-Jehovah's Witness board that I participate on.

Beautiful story, and well told.


and I'd love to hear the details of your encounter with the JW girl, if it's not apocryphal.
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grantcart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 02:10 PM
Response to Reply #11
14. it was just after the election

I was getting more and more angry reading about the mormon actions on passing 8 in CA.


I literally said I wish that they would knock on my door right now.


At that moment there was a knock and it was a JW neophyte travelling without a minder.


I invited her in and with some of my Seminary background and in a nice tone just ripped her apart until she realized how ridiculous what she was saying, that neither the word "Jehovah" or "Yahweh" actually exist in the Hebrew bible, biblical problems about both the virgin birth and the resurrection, and so on.


It was a massacre, not a good moment for me. I think my parting comment was "If you were a Doctor and as ignorant about medicine as you are about Christianity I could sue you for malpractice."


By that time she was sobbing and running to the street.


Where are the Mormons when you really need them?
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Hekate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 04:55 PM
Response to Reply #14
20. ouch. ouchouchouch.
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Arugula Latte Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 01:08 PM
Response to Original message
12. Aww. Now there's some sort of moisture in my eyes.
Nice story! :thumbsup:
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Kali Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #12
24. I have the same.
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Blue Diadem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 01:26 PM
Response to Original message
13. grantcart, that was so very nice of you.
I wish just once someone had been so kind to my Mom about my sister. You did good and I bet you made her day. :thumbsup:

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JNelson6563 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 02:10 PM
Response to Original message
15. Lovely.
:toast: :hug:
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tigereye Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 02:28 PM
Response to Original message
17. that's a nice story - kudos to all the parents taking care of their kids with
mental and intellectual challenges. It's so great to acknowledge their efforts, since it's such a difficult task.
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Book Lover Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 04:09 PM
Response to Original message
18. I'm a mom to an autistic child. What you said
was perfect. Thank you.
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hedgehog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
19. Once again, I have learned something useful on DU! Thank you for
teaching me what to say!
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Hekate Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 04:57 PM
Response to Original message
21. I tried to Rec this beautiful post, but I seem to have fallen into the Lounge. Thanks for sharing...
... this story, grantcart. I will try to learn from it.
:hug:

Hekate

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Mad_Dem_X Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 07:52 PM
Response to Original message
23. What a wonderful story.
Thank you for sharing this with us!
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Dystopian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 09:04 PM
Response to Original message
25. A beautiful soul...you are...
Shine on grantcart..
This is the kind of story that keeps my belief going regarding the goodness in the spirit of humanity...
You're golden...
And made me think of all of the other beautiful people out there....
They exist...and you are one of them.
Thank you for sharing...

peace~


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Crabby Appleton Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Dec-06-09 10:06 PM
Response to Original message
26. Good on you! nt
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