Worst (Or best, depending on your perspective) Tiger Woods joke...

[SKKY]

"Elin could get so much in a divorce settlement, it'll make Heather Mills want to amputate her good leg."

Wow. Just. Wow.

[TreasonousBastard]

1. Woods lives in a gated community and drove his car into a tree...

just goes to show that golf turns you into an old white man.

(Betcha his left signal was on, too.)

[NightWatcher]

2. how original, a gated community in Orlando, too

he went from a hip, young kid to an old white guy in two years.

Oy vey, the earlybird dinner starts at 4, we should get going.

[Deja Q]

7. Your use of "white" after the preposition 'to' suggests he was not white prior to its usage.

Is he a chameleon?

:hide:

[NightWatcher]

11. he was half black, half asian, half white (?) but the gated community in Orlando screams "whitey"

[Orrex]

3. Including you and Peter Sagal and me...

I guess that makes a total of three people who listen to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

[NightWatcher]

4. thank goodness, I couldnt remember where I heard that earlier

wait wait dont tell me

[Orrex]

5. I listen to that show whenever I feel that my Liberal mindset has grown insufficiently smug.

And don't forget the elitism!

[TreasonousBastard]

6. And this is not the first of his lines that I've ripped off...

nor is the first time I've been caught.

[Orrex]

15. We're Watching You.

[Coventina]

26. I'm number 4!!!

:hi:

I always try to catch it. It's always a laugh riot!!

[Po_d Mainiac]

8. But he's not a tiger he's a cheetah n/t

[GoCubsGo]

27. I think I've been spending too much time on political boards...

When I first heard that one, I thought it was racially derogatory. Too many images of Barack Obama as a chimp by the racist right made me think of Tarzan's monkey sidekick, "Cheetah." That, despite the fact that the comparison didn't make any sense in this situation. Then, it finally occurred to me that the joke was referring to a cat. Doh! :blush:

[applegrove]

9. Crashing Tiger, Hit a Hydrant (saw something like that on the DU)

[Captain Hilts]

12. Probably Crashing Tiger, Hidden Hydrant. nt

[applegrove]

13. I think that is it. Thanks.

[gmoney]

10. what's the difference between a golf ball and an Escalade?

Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards...

[SKKY]

14. Excellent!

[Richardo]

20. OK i'm laughing my ass off

:rofl:

[mwooldri]

16. I can remember Terry Wogan talking about it now....

He said something like "Don't play golf with them Tiger Woods, they're vicious and will bite you back!"

Was a long time ago... so can't remember the exact quote but then I may qualify for being a T.O.G. one day - and am probably approaching it quickly.

Question is, do I come here often?

[bullwinkle428]

17. I prefer my jokes in pictorial form...

[SKKY]

21. Oh that's brilliant!!!!!

[Blue_Tires]

22. i like that 'wife' better than the real one...

[Name removed]

18. Deleted message

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[tekisui]

19. oh.

:spank:

How perfect, though.

[Name removed]

23. Deleted message

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[NYC Liberal]

24. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?

They went clubbing.

[Haole Girl]

25. I alerted on this racial joke. nt