BREAKING: Tony the Tiger declares Frosted Flakes "GRRRREAT," admits to having over 200 mistresses

[Amerigo Vespucci]

CNN LOS ANGELES - Cereal spokescartoon Tony The Tiger appeared at a mid-afternoon press conference today in which he said that "Frosted Flakes are GRRRRREAT!"

When asked about "the other Tiger" in the news, he replied, "Oh, give me a fucking break. TEN MISTRESSES? I've had over 200...and COUNTING."

When asked if he'd slept with any famous Hollywood cartoon characters, Tony growled "Name one I HAVEN'T slept with."

The reporters continued to press for details.

"Minnie Mouse?"

"DID HER."

"Smurfette?"

"TWICE."

"Dino The Dinosaur from The Flintstones?"

"Yabba Dabba fuckin' DO."

Representatives from the Kellogg Cereal Company did not return our calls.

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