Fill this in without using "kissing" - "I saw Mommy _______ Santa Claus".

[HopeHoops]

Be creative now, not just the obvious ones.

[Dyedinthewoolliberal]

1. Spackling

I saw Mommy spackling Santa Claus. She's a very handy woman.......... :shrug:

[Bluzmann57]

2. Now what do you mean by "obvious"?

Might you mean "I saw Mommy scolding Santa Claus" for messing up the carpeting?

[HopeHoops]

3. You know what I mean.

:evilgrin:

[Bluzmann57]

4. Um, er, ah,...

Golly. To tell the truth, I can't understand mommy doing anything with that fat bastard.

[HopeHoops]

7. Hey, Rush is getting married for a fourth time and he's WAY fatter than Santa.

His first three wives left him because they kept burning their asses on the ceiling light. (Think about it a minute)

[WCGreen]

5. Give the gift that keeps on coming...

[Dr. Strange]

6. frisking

[baldguy]

8. Stabbing?

I'm not feeling very "Christmasy" this year.

[HopeHoops]

12. Well SHIT - I guess SO!

[azmouse]

9. Kicking?

[704wipes]

10. I saw...

mommy 'bitch slap' Santa Claus. ??

I don't know why that popped into my head...

[HopeHoops]

14. He didn't bring her that "Peter North Wonder Wand" she asked for.

He had it coming to him.

[Deja Q]

17. Yes, we all want Peter North coming to us...

:evilgrin:

[HopeHoops]

35. Hmm. Do I hear a Beatles tune? "Come together..."

[MrScorpio]

11. Kneading?

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

13. ...using her teeth to pull down the zipper of....

...gouging out the eyeballs of...
...embalming...
...keelhauling...
...basting...
...inflating...

[Deja Q]

15. "divorcing"

:yoiks:

How about "impregnating"?

:hide:

[Deja Q]

16. Isn't this thread solely the personal business between Mr. and Mrs. Claus?

:D

[kayakjohnny]

18. reprimanding.

Apparently, he needed a talking to.

[martymar64]

19. I saw Mommy auditing Santa Claus

She works for the IRS

[KG]

20. concubining

[Canuckistanian]

21. "changing the oil of the 1977 Dodge Challenger of"

Best I could come up with on short notice.

[HopeHoops]

36. Oh yeah, like 8 reindeer could pull one of THOSE?

[Bucky]

22. "wrapping"

I believe that's the right answer.


Because "shopping for" would be as sexist as the truth.

[kimi]

23. I saw Mommy arresting Santa Claus

Cause what's this old guy really up to when he goes around handing out toys and candy to little kids? What's his real motive?

(Really, though, I love Santa. He takes the blame every year for the disappointment my kids have not getting the toys they asked for.)

[HopeHoops]

37. Tasing?

[av8rdave]

24. texting

[Gormy Cuss]

25. I saw Mommy smoking a cig and breastfeeding in the Olive Garden while waiting

to give a lap dance to Santa Claus.


Wha?
:hide:

[bluesbassman]

26. Pretty creative GC.

You've been watching Lifetime again, Haven't you. :)

[Gormy Cuss]

28. Mais bien sur.

;)

[bluesbassman]

31. Tish, you spoke French!

:)

[HopeHoops]

38. Did she order the narwhal alfredo?

[Gormy Cuss]

41. Why do you hate America???????

x(

[LostInAnomie]

27. Shaving

[LeftyFingerPop]

29. putting a boot in the ass of

[Lucian]

30. fucking

[HopeHoops]

39. That's the one I use when I sing it.

[ElboRuum]

32. eating the brains of...

OMG ZOMBIES!!!11!!1!

[NJmaverick]

33. whipping

[bikebloke]

34. At the end of this song...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEe55NxFSSU&feature=related

*Not safe for work or with kids around.

[HopeHoops]

40. Yeah, well that's my SECOND choice of lyrics for that song.

First choice is up above.

[boppers]

42. pegging

Santa's a tad kinky, don'tcha know.

[raccoon]

43. "I saw Mommy _beating_ Santa Claus" with a golf club. nt

[ThatsMyBarack]

44. I saw Mommy....

GIVING Santa Claus...THE FINGER! :rofl:

(Cuz he didn't bring her a pony!)

[Lyric]

45. teabagging

:yoiks:

[Arugula Latte]

46. waxing

[racaulk]

47. getting baked with

[bermudat]

48. Caning

[racaulk]

49. snorting lines of coke with